How Can A 34-Year-Old Father Of Four Be Left To Rot In A Nursing Home?

14/08/2014 16:51 | Updated 22 May 2015

Dear Alex, An OUTRAGE! Who's responsibility is it then???

My husband, I leave you in tears, so concerned am I by the fact your left leg no longer moves, is swollen and purple, that for the past few days, you are unable to sit, to transfer to the bed or your chair. The care home tell me they will call the doctor and let me know the result.

I race home - there are just a few minutes till I collect the kids. I lift the boot open to let the dog out (he comes in every day with me to see you). Blood everywhere. Windscreen, red dog, blood pouring from his nostril. Obviously this bloodbath is shocking to behold and I run into the house, carrying the dog and ring the vet's immediately.

They say they need to see him immediately, I carry him back to the car, ring a friend to hold the kids in the playground for me, and I am off to the vet's.

The news that they will have to operate immediately made me swallow hard...but there's little time, they have to operate on him under anaesthetic immediately. They will call when they knew something.

I rush out, crying, my dog, Oliver, lovely soppy Oliver, whom we have had for 12 years.

The phone rings as I get into the car to speed over and collect the kids.

"Mrs Wood, you have to go to hospital (50 minutes away) right away, your husband has just been emergency ambulanced over, they think he has had a stroke".

I choke, say I am on my way. I get to the playground with panic in my eyes, hardly able to speak, but I kiss the kids, my friend will look after them.

Then I turn to run, twist my ankle, fall over the most ginormous basketball net which no child has ever played with ever in the playground, land spectacularly splayed on the floor, in the rain.

My friend bends over to help me up. 'You are allowed to cry now if you want!' she says. But I mutter something about it happening in threes and this had better be the third thing...!

I am off.

Dog with a possible brain haemorrhage, husband possibly having had a stroke.

I arrive at the hospital and rush to you. You are in tears, confused, pads all over, cannula in, hooked up to monitors as you await a brain scan.

I am in shock and disbelief, and tell myself I am not thinking about the worst case scenario till they tell me the words.

I eventually hear back from the vet's and the brain scan results. The dog is fine; it was a simple nose bleed. You are fine; it was a brain scan unchanged from the last, thus the damage is still the same, no recent further neurological damage.

But now you no longer qualify for rehabilitation funding - due to lack of rehab and physio, your left hand side now has regressed so much that it no longer works.

This is now my serious point, this is now going to be in the team of legally experienced hands. I spend the entire day with you on the phone, in tears regularly, firing out emails to all concerned. I have a meeting with the manager of the care home.

I want to know why you are not getting the critical physio input you need and which was clearly aiding in your progression? This is serious, this is severe regression. I get some story about you being too tired or upset. But they are apparently a brain injury specialist unit - surely they deal with others through behavioural problems? I am not accepting the answer.

You slump in your chair, head hanging, you cannot transfer, cannot stand, you have no control of your left hand side.

I am raging.

The care home shirk responsibility, the PCT (CCG) as they now are called, too, shirk responsibility. Apparently it is no one's responsibility that you are so horrifically affected by the lack of rehab, that you have regressed to such a degree, you were rushed to hospital because they thought you had had a stroke.

So who's problem IS this then???

This IS soneone's responsibility, and to boot, I receive a phone call whilst I am up at the care home telling me they are also pulling the funding for one-to-one support for you.


The situation may not be life threatening on a medical level, but how can the powers-that-be leave you, a 34-year-old father of four and husband to be left to rot in an old people's home?


This is life threatening to your potential and your right as a human being to be given the right help and support to assist you in this.

This is an outrage. This is my next fight, and I am going in all guns blazing.

Any support via sharing this, tweeting this, shouting in anyway you may be able to would be HUGELY appreciated.

Thank you all for listening and helping.

Tamsyn x

Tamsyn is a 'single mum' with four children (aged four to eight ) since her husband suffered a head injury 18 months ago now. After two life saving brain operations, three and a half months in ICU, he is now in a nursing home, whilst she battles to get him home. "Life changed in a split second. My life is now being determined and positive and keeping hope that he will one day, be Alex again...With four young kids, I can be no other way...Life is precious..."

Twitter: @manicmum4


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