Nappies are 'pseudoscience', dairy food is 'toxic sludge' and baby cots are 'barred-in boxes'. Yep, 1990s movie star Alicia Silverstone has branched out into the world of parenting manuals - and her contribution is unusual to say the least.
The former Batgirl's new parenting handbook is called The Kind Mama: A Simple Guide to Supercharged Fertility, a Radiant Pregnancy, a Sweeter Birth, and a Healthier, More Beautiful Beginning (once you hear it, you'll be humming it all day).
In it, she rails against tampons (full of fertility-killing pesticides, apparently), advocates pre-chewing your baby's food, and advises pregnant women to ditch meat and dairy foods in favour of a diet of 'kind' plants.
And all in her own inimitably dippy writing style, urging mums to 'listen to what your body really needs and then relax into the yumminess of it all'.
The actress is also adamant that infants should not wear nappies, instead roaming free while parents try to read their facial cues and get them to the potty on time. But how can you tell exactly when your baby has to go? Alicia's got it figured out...
"When Bear looked like he was flirting with me, smiling sweetly, or looking deep into my eyes, he'd be peeing," she helpfully advises.
But the most controversial aspect of the star's foray into parenting advice is likely to be her scepticism regarding vaccines.
While she doesn't actually tell parents to reject them, Alicia warns ominously of friends whose kids were 'never the same' after getting their shots. With 'anti-vaxxer' parents in the States accused of causing a resurgence of preventable diseases, the comments are sure to land her in hot water.
Alicia has been working on her transition into a child-rearing guru for some time through her blog, The Kind Life, where she doles out tips on hippy-dippy parenting to a community of like-minded 'kind mamas'.
It's not the first time the Clueless star (in more ways than one), has caused a stir with her unusual approach to child-rearing. In May 2012, a video showing her pre-chewing food for her baby and then feeding it to him like a bird went viral.
More recently, in June last year Alicia announced that she was launching an online breast milk exchange. The service is designed to help mothers struggling to produce enough milk find donors who share their 'lifestyle choices' - or as Alicia puts it, 'beautiful souls who recognize the importance of food as health'.
More on Parentdish: Alicia Silverstone launches breast milk sharing service for vegan mums