STYLE

Made In Chelsea: When It All Went Wrong For Andy And Louise

14/08/2014 16:37 | Updated 22 May 2015

Spencer is still trying to work out how to not cheat on a girl, Cheska hosts a jazz night and Andy and Louise have a showdown. Will Gore on all the latest from Made in Chelsea

It all got a bit gangster on Made in Chelsea this week. We had shotguns, threats of murder and Spencer Matthews, aka The God (he's a twat) Father.

Spenny was on the psychotherapist's couch once more. Like Tony Soprano going to see Dr Melfi (if his problems involved posh English girls rather than New Jersey mafiosi), Spencer's trips to the head doctor have now become a regular part of MiC life.

Clearly, I'm not a medical expert - I wouldn't be wasting my life writing snide jokes about Made in Chelsea if I was – and I'd hate to besmirch the reputation of the bored woman they've got to impersonate a shrink, but it seems these sessions aren't too exacting.

andy-louise

After weeks of reflection, what is Spenny's conclusion about where it's all going wrong for him? He went on about his exes being "scorned women," and claimed "when I meet the girl of my dreams, of course, I won't cheat on her," which is probably the most hopeful use of the words "of course" in the history of the English language.

Once he was done reassuring himself at the psychotherapist's, Spencer kept up his Toff–ny Soprano impression by lining up a meeting with Andy over shotguns. The two not so-wiseguys met up in a field to "shoot a couple of clays" and make spiky jokes about killing each other. "We're going to battle it out to the death," said Spencer. "You can't use that kind of pun in this situation," replied Andy, displaying both a hint of fear for his future and total ignorance as to what constitutes a pun.

After the meeting, Andy really upped the gangster ante. Furious with Louise who admitted to sleeping with "that guy" (internet rumours suggest it's a famous pop star but I'm not sure there's one direction I could point you in for clues), he leaned in towards her and said, "I wish I could delete you". Louise, as we all know is nastier than a Camorra hitman holding a length of cheese wire to your throat, and later came back at The Singing Nostrils with a righteous fury.

In a concluding scene that was an obvious homage to Scorsese's famous Goodfellas nightclub scene, Andy admitted to Lucy he'd been sleeping with loads of girls since breaking up with Louise. A girl he had taken home a few nights previously had turned up at Cheska's jazz night and so Andy was forced to confess.

In an eye-opening insight into his dating strategy, Andy apologised to the new girl for "locking (her) in his house and taking (her) for a kebab." Once Louise had been briefed about Andy's hypocrisy, she stomped over and told the newbie to "get out of my fucking seat," and then gave it to him with both barrels. Andy, if you're reading, that's a metaphor not a pun.

LOVE THIS WRITER? Follow him on Twitter @WillGore.

MORE!

See all the latest from Made in Chelsea here, plus read Will's TV column The Idiot Box here.

Suggest a correction