Let's cut to the chase: I'm 30 and pregnant - not the target demographic, in any situation, for wearing pigtails, even if they were the hairstyle of choice at Marc by Marc Jacobs New York Fashion Week show.
The last time I tried this hairstyle, I was 18 and at a "skool disco" in a Glasgow club called The Garage. Drinks were a £1. Everyone's white shirts were open to the navel. I think I was wearing a whistle.
But listen, a trend's a trend and when it comes to trying them out you've got to have a stiff upper lip. No crying if you look stupid. No refusing to do the coffee run because you feel such a knob.
So, here's what I learned from wearing pigtails when you're not a Marc Jacobs model:
1. You can't wear them with heels. That would make you look all sexy and come-to-bed, rather than clean, neat and ready for anything. You need to wear them with a boot or a masculine flat, like a brogue.
2. Keep make-up minimal. It's got to be lipstick or eye-liner, I'm afraid. Also, anything more than one solitary sweep of blusher channels jolly milkmaid.
3. These pigtails should look functional. Pleat your hair close to your head and use a serum to keep everything looking smooth. The last thing you want to use is volumiser - this will take the style from MJ girl to Kelly Brook bombshell on a lingerie shoot (sexy? yes. Fashion? No).
4. If you're wearing them to work, team the hairstyle with something casual. I will only say this once: absolutely, under no circumstances, should you wear pigtails with bodycon. Layer up and accessorise with a backpack. These pigtails would look brilliant with anything by Christopher Raeburn.
5. They are extremely anti-ageing. Honestly - when I decided to try this out, the word mutton sprang to mind, but then I got ID-ed for paracetamol in Sainsbury's. Day. Made.
MORE! Take a flick through all the pics from the Marc by Marc Jacobs show plus see our full report here.