Pippa Middleton's latest column for The Telegraph is out and as per usual it's totally thrilling. So far we've heard about her embarrassing childhood crush and how she'll be a DIY bride and now, now she's spilled all about her Spanish themed 30th birthday party in, er, Spain.
Of course, Pips wanted to be the centre of attention at her big three-oh bash so decided she would learn the flamenco and perform in front of all her guests. *Cringe*.
"Got it! A Spanish theme. In Spain, to avoid BBW [Bad British Weather]. Heard about a hacienda near Seville that will do nicely as a venue," she wrote of her pardy in the Bridget Jones' Diary-style article.
"Hired some flamenco dancers for post-supper entertainment, but decided that the piece de resistance will be ME! I'm going to learn flamenco and surprise my guests with a star turn."
Deciding that Pineapple Dance Studios wasn't for her Pippa managed to find a bloke in Chelsea called Jesus who agreed to teach her the flamenco in the comfort of her own flat.
Between all the waffle and the overuse of "OMG" it seems Pippa's dancing went down a storm at her posh party even if she did drink too much "rioja".
Can't wait for her next column.