Stop Asking About Baby Number Two!

14/08/2014 17:01 | Updated 20 May 2015

Speculation abounds about when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will have baby number two

The Duchess of Cambridge is constantly being hassled by the world's media. Is she expecting again or isn't she? Frankly, I find the interest in her ovaries is more than a little creepy.

Prince George hasn't even had his first birthday yet, for crying out loud! Give the girl a chance to get out of her nursing bras and enjoy herself again before she steps back on the pregnancy treadmill.

I speak from experience.

Since my daughter's second birthday, I've faced all the usual comments, including the well-meaning friend who announced that it was 'time we got on and had baby number two'....on my Facebook page for all 300-odd of my acquaintances to see.

But it's not always such a simple matter as just 'getting on with it', is it?

The truth of the matter is that after two years of broken nights and a bout of postnatal anxiety, I find the thought of having another baby more than a little daunting.

However, that's not the sort of information you necessarily want to pop into a light-hearted conversation, is it? So I usually just laugh off the nosy questions with: "It's under discussion."

Unfortunately, when my hubby once overheard me wheeling out that line, he was mortified.

"Great, now everyone's imagining us at it," he cringed. Poor love!

But he's got a point.


Even if we were actively trying for another child, what business is that of anyone else's? ​It's as though, once you're a mother, your body (and reproductive system) are fair game.


I'll hold my hands up and say that I've actually been at fault, myself, for asking another mum this question, without thinking. Afterwards, I kicked myself for being so stupid.

Because the risk of asking unnecessarily probing questions is that you might get an answer you really don't want to hear.

How do you know that the friend in question hasn't recently suffered a devastating miscarriage and that your nosiness might send her over the edge?

Or that she's been desperately trying to conceive for ages, without success? With secondary fertility at an all-time high, it's a real possibility that more than one of your friends is facing the anxiety of not being able to conceive a second child.

Or (whisper it), that they may simply have decided that their family is complete with one baby....

The thing is that people seem unable to accept that anyone would be happy with 'just' one child. A quick browse on a parenting forum found posters voicing opinions like: 'You're not a real parent until you've got more than one.'

Oh, so my boisterous, hilarious, loving toddler is a figment of my imagination then? Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Then there was the pensioner in Costa who put her head on one side as she looked at my beautiful little girl and, in a sympathetic tone, said: 'I bet your husband's hoping for a boy next time.'


It's a generational thing, I know, but when will people give up on the idea that two parents plus two children (one male, one female) equals the perfect family?


These days, more than ever, families come in all shapes and sizes.

Try telling the mother of a much-longed-for adopted child that her family is not valid. Or that a single mum is not a real parent because she 'only' has one little mouth to feed.

The biggest argument for having baby number two seems to be that it provides your existing child with a sibling.

Some say that it's selfish to only have one child, because they'll grow up lonely. But is that really true?

My toddler's social diary is more jam packed than Mummy and Daddy's put together. Her days are a constant whirl of play dates and toddler groups to attend. She is surrounded by adoring grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins. Sometimes, I think she probably craves a bit of alone time!

Who's to say that siblings get along, anyway? I know plenty of folk who have nothing in common with their brothers and sisters except for their surname.

Also, kids are expensive! We stretched ourselves to buy our cosy, two bed terraced house. It's just right for three, but could feel like a squeeze if our family expanded.

One child families are on the rise, partly because of financial strains of modern living. More couples are deciding that they'd rather stop at one child, than risk financial ruin.

The truth of the matter is that there is no right way to parent and there is no definite answer to the 'shall we have more kids?' question.


You simply have to do what's right for you and your family. And sod all the questions from nosy friends and strangers.


Poor Kate has probably accepted this sort of intrusion as part of her job description. But for the ordinary new mum on the street, all the nosiness can be enough to steer you as far away from Mothercare as humanly possible.

Right now, the ticking of my biological clock is far from deafening, although, as my hubby and I are both 35, we probably shouldn't hang about too long.

But we've both agreed that we won't let it take over our daily lives.

As far as we're concerned, our gorgeous daughter is enough - for now. If anything changes, we'll let everyone know when we're ready.

I hope that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge do the same.

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