What do you think about designer clothes for kids? More to the point, what's your view on the news that seven-year-old Suri Cruise is reputedly launching her own fashion range and has signed a £1.5million deal for her own line, to be named, Suri?
That's not as outlandish as you might first think. Because according to a recent survey, half of UK parents admit that celebrity culture and mini-fashion icons like Suri Cruise and Harper Beckham influence how they dress their own children. What's more, they also admit to feeling under pressure to keep up with celebrities and other parents in the playground when it comes to dressing their kids.
Give me strength. If I had the cash to keep up with 'celebrity style' I'd be kitting myself out in nothing but Victoria Beckham dresses well before I'd be bedecking my sons in tiny trousers worth a small of fortune. (Which would inevitably have holes in the knees by the end of day one.)
That's what so infuriates me about all this designer clothes for kids nonsense. Putting kids in designer clothes is like making tea in a chocolate teapot. It's an exercise in futility, destined to backfire the moment they smear ketchup all over their Dolce & Gabbana silk dress or get grass stains on the seat of their Ralph Lauren cargo pants. And as for Armani swimming trunks, even grown ups would like a bit try-too-hard in those.
With most children growing like weeds from one month to the next it's not even as if you can argue that buying kids designer threads is an investment. Except in waste.
And as for having designer clothes customised or shoes especially commissioned for kids - um, what? There should be a law against it. I reckon we could solve global poverty or at least rid the world of hungry children if everyone who wasted money on designer clothes for kids just sent their cash to places where it's really needed.
I'm not alone in finding designer clothes for kids ridiculous, either. A quick straw poll on Facebook revealed that several of my peers find the idea of a seven year old launching her own fashion range a tad preposterous too.
"Suri Cruise is not actually launching her own clothing line," shot back a friend and father of three. "What's happening is that her name being used for commercial gain."
"Actually I designed my own fashion range at that age too," revealed another friend and mum of one. "In crayon."
And mum of two Allie's response wasn't fit for print. But suffice it to say that she added, with a virtual smirk: "I think I made a hat out of a piece of newspaper when I was four. Does that count?"
Maybe this sounds like sour grapes but in a world where 21 children die from preventable causes every minute of every day, the idea of anyone giving a seven year old £1.5 million pounds to design clothes for kids who already have more than they'll ever need just turns my stomach. I know the two issues aren't exactly related and it's a bit of a Quantum Leap to draw parallels between them but really, sometimes I think our generation of parents could really do with someone giving us a time out and encouraging us to think about our behaviour.
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