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Your Wedding Night: Five Inconvenient Truths

14/08/2014 16:41 | Updated 20 May 2015

Once upon a time, the wedding night was the time when you finally got to ravish your fiancé after months of being chaste.

However, these days, most couples have already done the deed before they say "I do". Despite this, having sex for the first time as man and wife is still a pretty wonderful thing - but it may not play out exactly as you think.

Here's five things to be prepared for on the big night after the big day...

wedding night

1. Getting out of your dress is really hard. When you put it on 12 to 14 hours ago, everything was so simple. A flock of bridesmaids and your mother were on hand. You stood there, effortlessly transforming from girl in a bathrobe to beautiful bride. The thing is, the new Mr to your Mrs is probably not used to wrestling with clips, ribbon and corsetry. My husband, after many failed attempts to get me out of my wedding dress, sat head in hands on our bed cursing the "f*cking buttons" and even suggested we just cut it down the back (ha! Men and their silly jokes...).

2. He may not go crazy for your bridal lingerie. Despite spending a fortune, your new husband may not even notice you're modeling all the wedding night glory Victoria's Secret has to offer. It's a consequence of post-wedding tiredness/drunkeness. Don't get mad - take that amazing underwear on honeymoon and whip it out then. In the infinitely less stressful atmosphere of anywhere that doesn't involve being responsible for a whole wedding, it will be much more appreciated.

3. You might not remember it. But listen, don't feel bad. You've probably been on a diet for months, stressed out your box and indulged in a bucket of champagne. Hurrah! The combination of these three things can result in a hazy memory, but you should feel good about your own stamina if you do end up having sex because...

4. ...lots of couples don't having sex on their wedding night at all! To be specific, 50% of newlyweds don't consummate their marriage then, according to a recent survey. You might be too tired or tipsy to even attempt it but as my sister-in-law said to me ahead of my wedding: "Don't worry if it doesn't happen on the night my lovely - you'll have loads of sex on your honeymoon." Turns out, she really knew what she was talking about.

5. It's not the best sex you'll ever have. Okay, don't kill the messenger! After the most intense day of your life, it's entirely possible you won't want to be engaging in sexual gymnastics. So, no - it's not the best, but it's still pretty lovely.

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