If you think that being limited to 140 characters means you can't write a poem, be funny, or do both, then you don't know Twitter.
Today is National Poetry Day, and the funny tweeters have been out in force. Because as @TechnicallyRon pointed out, Twitter is the perfect medium for poetry:
That you can make
Anything look like a poem
If you keep pressing return
In a sentenceOctober 2, 2014
There were poems about animals:
"My one regret"
The hedgehog said,
this water bed".October 2, 2014
Went for a walk
Saw a hawk
Squeezed its nork
Made it squawk
Saw a crow
Where did it go?
I don't knowOctober 2, 2014
Variations on a classic:
Roses are red.
Violets are red.
Oh my God! There's so much blood!October 2, 2014
Roses are red / Foxgloves are purple / I appear to have trapped myself / In a linguistic corner #nationalpoetryday— Dave Turner (@mrdaveturner) October 2, 2014
Poems about the everyday:
My dearest paracetamol,
A mystery to me
Why sometimes you cost £1.10
But sometimes 20p— Craig Deeley (@craiguito) October 2, 2014
Hot water, and a sponge,
With a bit of Cif on it,
Is a good way,
To clean up vomit.October 2, 2014
And poems about the surreal:
I'd just like to say
It doesn't have to rhyme
Or scan properly
Or even make much sense
I can taste toast— Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) October 2, 2014
Indeed, toast was something of a theme:
I wish I was a piece of toast,
A wholesome granary fella.
I'd flirt a bit with the Lurpak
Then I'd smother myself with Nutella.August 30, 2014
There were lots of poems that didn't rhyme:
Why do you lot follow me?
I'll never understand,
All my puns are terrible,
And I can't do poems.October 2, 2014
You didn’t like poetry this much yesterday.
This isn’t a poem either.
Don’t let the spacing fool you.
What?October 2, 2014
And ones that did:
If you have a thought that isn't smart
Just make it rhyme to sound like artOctober 2, 2014
Including a reminder of this pure pop poetry (again, featuring toast):
I don't want to see a ghost
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening newsOctober 2, 2014
There were political poems:
In the election of 2015
I trust Cameron will have been
(like he was at Eton).October 2, 2014
On National Poetry Day, someone may come to your house to read your Metre. #NationalPoetryDay— James Martin (@Pundamentalism) October 2, 2014
There were even tweets that appealed for us to think of others:
On this, National Poetry Day, please spare a thought for the people of Nantucket. #NationalPoetryDay— Ross Lawson (@Ross_Lawson) October 2, 2014
But in the end, it wasn't always as easy as it looked:
Suggest a correction
Today is #nationalpoetryday,
Everyone tries to be a Bard.
With only 140 characters to write a verse that makes sense,
it's really bloody har— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) October 2, 2014