"This is not a toy. This is a "badass" professional device that allows you to launch fireballs from your open palm."
Er...
Meet Pyro, the small, actually purchasable device which can fire small balls of flame into the air, because that's something apparently we're okay with people being able to do now.
This device is the creation of magician Adam Wilber, who claims that the machine can fire four fireballs 10 feet before needing to be reloaded. It's remote controlled too, so you can be standing 30 feet from the machine and still fire flame into the sky.
It's currently sold out, but you can get one for $174 by the end of the year if you register your interest on the website.
One testimonial on the website by illusionist Daniel Madison reports: "Pyro goes way beyond magic and puts an unexplainable, supernatural power in your hands. I don’t leave home without it and am constantly finding excuses to shoot fireballs from my empty hands."
We'll admit it, we weren't sold at first. But then we thought about the idea of creating toast from across the room, and recreating the imps from Doom, and suddenly everything made sense. Terrible, potentially deadly sense.