Twitter can be a harsh place.
Thoughts, opinions and what you think are witty little gems are all shot into the digital ether and instantly become fodder for the numerous cyber-trolls out there.
If you're going to survive you need a thick skin. Either that or be constantly armed with incredible comebacks.
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) November 20, 2012
And here's a selection of Blunt's...
It's only halfway in. RT @Thomasemaan: Just realized how short James Blunt is !!!— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 19, 2014
Sorry. Wrong hole. RT @Sam_SamV: James Blunt makes my ears bleed— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 20, 2014
It's at this point that we confess this contest was won from the start - Blunty was always going to nail it. Here's some more examples of his genius as a reward.
And finishes in your mouth. RT @trimjim90: James Blunt gets on my tits.— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) February 21, 2014
Mine is anal. RT @OliviaMae_98: James Blunt is my guilty pleasure 😍— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) August 8, 2014
And no mortgage. RT @hettjones: James Blunt just has an annoying face and a highly irritating voice— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 24, 2013
Oh, and how's this for meta?
As does your missus. RT @teamtommo58: James blunt your music sucks #fact— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 31, 2013
I never liked the sound of my own voice. Till it made me rich. @SamanthaMika: Does anyone else HATE james blunt's voice? I can't stand it.— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) November 1, 2013
Only I was drunk at the time. RT @tianpogiaf: People who think you're beautiful -
1. Your parents
2. James Blunt— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 16, 2013
Boning your mum. RT @Charlie_1232: James Blunt has a twitter, what would he even tweet about?— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 3, 2014
Because I won't pay the child support? RT @Buizel0418: My mom hates James Blunt. xD— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) June 10, 2014
Damn thing's always getting caught under my feet. RT @laurenlyall: Why does James Blunt sing like his willy is being stood on?— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) October 16, 2013
Only coz I turned her down. RT @anadinskywalker: my grandma just called james blunt a queer— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 15, 2013
Coming upstairs now. RT @sassyfalahee: omfg james blunt is on the tv downstairs can this day get any worse!— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 8, 2014
.@IndyMusic I am sorry that You’re Beautiful, despite being a great song, brought out the worst in some people, including you.— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) October 24, 2014
Suggest a correction
At least it’s not on your face. RT @MiissAshley: Nothing fucks your vibe up more than James Blunt coming on your Young Money Pandora 🔫— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) September 16, 2014