The Leaving The House Dance: School Run In Winter

19/01/2015 12:55 | Updated 20 May 2015

Baby boy in pram

I don't know about you but I am looking forward to a couple of weeks with no school runs. Especially no cold and wet school runs. It feels like I have to add half an hour to my mornings at the moment just to get us out of the door in time for the five minute walk to school.

And it's the same every morning. After the cajoling into getting dressed, teeth brushed, changing the baby's nappy, pleading with my five-year-old to stop playing with Lego and come eat his breakfast. I say 'hurry up' on loop. The hour and three-quarters from waking to leaving flashes by in a blur. But it's the last five minutes that frazzle my nerves and leaves me wondering 'is it bedtime yet?'!

This is my leaving the house dance:

Wrestle baby into his coat.

Tell the big one to get his shoes on.

Strap baby into buggy.

Tell the big one to get his shoes on.

Place blanket over baby and attempt to do up the 'buggy muff' thingy.

Tell the big one to stop stamping up and down in his shoes and get his coat on.

Undo 'buggy muff' thingy as baby has pulled the blanket out and start the process again.

Reason with the big one that he must wear his coat with the arms in the arm holes and not as a cape.

Put baby's gloves on.

Explain that Batman's mum makes him wear a coat too to the protesting big one.

Put baby's gloves back on.

Put my boots on.

Do up the big one's coat.

Put my coat on.

Stop the big one strangling himself with his scarf.

Roll eyes and big sigh as the big one proclaims he needs a wee and removes his coat.

Put baby's gloves back on.

Put my scarf and hat on.

Remind big one to flush the chain and wash his hands.

Give up on the big one being independent. Put his coat, scarf and hat on for him. Who needs 'life skills' anyway?

Search for baby's missing glove.

Locate missing glove and put back on baby's hand.

Put baby's hat on.

Discover big one has vanished and begin search.

Locate big one playing with Lego and begin leaving the house negotiations.

Maneuver buggy down the hallway.

One final check that we're good to go.

Put baby's gloves back on.

Put baby's hat back on.

Open the front door to discover in the five minutes have been faffing around and losing sanity it has started pissing it down.

Internally sob.

Locate rain cover for the buggy.

Wrestle rain cover onto the buggy and wonder if need an actual degree in engineering to be able to fit one of these things.

Reprimand the big one for saying "hurry up".

Locate the big one's wellies and curse self for not cleaning them after the last visit to the farm.

Replace the big one's shoes with muddy wellies and add 'cleaning the floor' to to-do list.

Check the baby.

Give up on the baby's gloves.

Ready to go.

Now where did I put the keys?

I keep telling myself it will be easier in the summer. But then I remember the sun-cream stand offs!

Anyone else dance to a similar tune in the mornings?

This article was republished with kind permission from the blog Life, Love and Dirty Dishes. You can follow on Facebook and Twitter too.

Suggest a correction