LIFESTYLE

How To Tell If You're Being Cheated On: 'Human Lie Detector' Shares His Tips On Spotting A Fibber

28/01/2015 11:02 | Updated 28 January 2015

The average person tells three lies every 10 minutes, but it can still be difficult to tell when you're on the receiving end of a porkey pie, especially when it comes from your partner.

Thinking that your partner is cheating in on you is one of the worst suspicions to have, it can knock your confidence and destroy your relationship.

Former police officer and deception detection specialist Darren Stanton is an expert when it comes to spotting deceit, so much so that he is known as the ‘human lie detector’.

Here, he gives his definitive top ten tricks on how to spot if someone is fibbing to you when it comes to matters of fidelity.

black couple man looking away

1. No eye contact
For the most part, people are uncomfortable when it comes to deceit. Bad liars and will not be able to look you in the eye. They will use tactics such as touching their eyes, yawning or simply keeping their back to you.

2. Too much eye contact
Unfortunately, there are those people who are comfortable with lying, however, they are just as easy to spot.

These tricksters will overcompensate and maintain eye contact for too long as if determined to convince you that they are telling the truth.

If they hold eye contact with you for more than six seconds, alarm bells should start to ring.

3. Where your partner looks
It is a little known but useful fact that when right-handed people are lying they will look right and when left-handed people fib they will look left.

4. What your partner says
Mimicking is often one of the key tell tale signs that someone is being deceitful.

When a liar is put on the spot he or she will have very little time to plan a response, therefore they resort to mimicking the language of their accuser.

For instance, if a truthful person were asked ‘are you cheating on me?’ they would respond with a simple ‘no’, whereas a liar would mimic and say ‘no I’m not cheating on you’.

5. Notice how your partner stands
Crossed ankles and arms are key indicators of someone who is lying to you. However, many people are aware of this trait and will try and over-compensate by being overtly open with their body language.

Similarly, liars tend to position themselves at right angles to the person to whom they are telling a lie.

Also when it comes to spotting a female fibber, their biggest giveaway is blushing.

6. Watch your partner's hands
We pick up many of our habits when we are children. When children fib, generally speaking, they cover their mouth or touch their face.

When it comes to adults, any type of hand gesture that revolves around the upper body, chest or face, such as rubbing their nose or scratching their head indicates deceit.

Also if someone is holding an object, as they lie they will tighten their grip and hold it closer to their body. By doing this they are creating a subconscious barrier to hide behind.

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7. Look at your partner's lips
If their lips are pale and their face is either bright red or as white as a ghost, this can be a key sign that they are lying to you.

The origins of this stem from the body’s natural fight or flight instinct in times of pressure.

8. Does your partner have a twitch?
Liars often twitch when they are being untruthful. If recognised, this can be one of the easiest giveaways to identify.

Sometimes it can be a particularly long blink, or it could be a tiny muscle in the cheek or neck. Men in particular have an area at the bottom of their nose that twitches when they are fibbing.

9. Touch your partner's hand
As a general rule of thumb, we sweat more when we are lying and in particular on the palms of our hands.

If you suspect someone of lying, shake or touch their hand. If it is dripping with sweat, the chances are high that you have just been lied to.

10. Watch out for sarcasm
Liars will have very little time to continue fabricating their story if questioned about it. Therefore using sarcasm is one of the ways they bluff.

If you are getting sarcastic answers to your questions then you are most likely being the victim of a liar.

So what should you do if you suspect your partner may be cheating on you?

Blogging on HuffPost Divorce, therapist Larry Cappel recommends couple's counselling.

"An affair is one of the biggest betrayals we can experience. But if you are willing to work on the relationship, the journey can be one of transformation, changing both of you for the better — even if you decide to go your separate ways after all," he writes.

"I remind couples that if you bail out of this relationship before you've learned what you need to learn, you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes in the next relationship... and every relationship after that until you finally get a grip on the lessons."

Is Emotional Infidelity Really Cheating?

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