LIFESTYLE

What Are The Moments That Make You Feel Closest To Each Other?

12/02/2015 09:31 GMT | Updated 12/02/2015 09:59 GMT

When it comes to relationships, being close to someone physically doesn't necessarily mean we're feeling close to them emotionally.

Daily distractions, from work emails to household chores, can take up a lot of our precious couple time, which is why it's so crucial to make sure that you and your partner find an opportunity to switch off and to simply relax together.

Enjoying the solitude of your relationship gives you room for spontaneity and allows you to make new discoveries about your partner.

couples feeling close

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Wondering how to get to know your partner better? Spend more time together, says Stefan Walters, a psychological therapist at Harley Therapy, who specialises in couples counselling and family therapy.

"It sounds so obvious, but it takes a long time to really see how someone is going to behave and react in a range of different situations. At the beginning of a relationship couples often experience a huge amount of happiness together, but happiness is only one emotion.

"It's important to know how you'll handle other emotions together as well. So it's not just the quantity of time you spend with someone, but the quality too."

Walters suggests that couples get out of their comfort zone by trying unusual dates, new activities, travel adventures or relinquishing control and letting your partner surprise you.

"It's only by having a variety of different experiences together that you can really see how compatible you are as a team. And, of course, keep talking. Communication is key, so make sure you check in with your partner regularly, to learn what their emotional triggers are, and to stay attuned to their needs," he says.

We asked people in relationships what are the moments that make them feel closest to each other - here's what they had to say.

What are the moments that make you feel closest to each other?

Couple One:

M: When we look at each other and know what the other person is thinking.

W: I feel closest when we are in church together or looking at our baby.

Couple Two:

M: When she makes me laugh, which is often. When I come home I will give her a kiss and she will tell me about her day. It is exciting to know I am coming home to my wife and I look forward to it.

W: I feel closest to him when we have the same thoughts about something, when we make fun of each other and laugh at ourselves, and when he makes so much effort to learn my mother tongue and be closer to my culture and my family.

Couple Three:

M: In great pain and in great joy, and I'm trying hard to make sure that the rest of the time we share more than just the same place.

W: There are lots of moments, mainly when it's just the two of us. The best is when we seem like we're arguing but we both know we're not - when we're teasing each other because we know how to.

Couple Four:

M: The invention of the family cuddle. It's when the three of get together for a special family hug/kiss. With very busy schedules, we still make sure to spend time together as a family. We both think of each other in little ways - an article that I read that I think she'll enjoy or vice versa. No matter how busy my day at work is, I try and make sure to call her, even if it's just to say 'hi'.

W: There are a few things. When we are together with our daughter doing things as a family. When he does the little things that are actually much bigger than they seem. Finding me the crunchiest chip when we eat out (which I love) - there's something really sweet about that. It seems like a gesture from the first few months of dating rather than over seven years of marriage. He's also really good about remembering certain things I like. He once recorded a special on The Eagles - I like The Eagles a lot, but it's not like I talk about them all the time, but he knew. It's small, but I think it's really important. We also laugh a lot.

Couple Five:

M: There have been so many moments over the years, from big life events like the birth of our children and finding a home together to the way we deal with others (parents, friends, etc) together. I love parenting with her, celebrating our respective work successes and the moments when she does something special for me that she knows I'll love. Also our rare - but very enjoyable - holidays.

W: Seeing his gentle side (when he’s with our kids, or when we’re by ourselves together) makes me feel close to him. But I feel close every time we cuddle on the couch and decide which show to watch or which takeout to order.

Couple Six:

M: When the weather is blowing a gale and we are wrapped up going for a walk with no interruptions. There is something lovely about chatting away and being exposed to the elements coupled with the anticipation of returning to a cozy home and spending

the day together. It is also when she strives to protect me from any negative aspect of life, whether I require such protection or not, it is beautiful to know that she stops at nothing to protect me.

W: My husband tells me that he loves me and that I am his best friend every day. I love that little reminder of the bond that we share. When he leaves the house before I wake up he hides notes for me and will have put a mug and tea bag out ready for my early morning cup of tea. I love this even more than my first cup of the day.

It's when we get into stressful situations such as nearly missing our honeymoon flight due to a multitude of unfortunate circumstances that I realise just how good a team we are and that makes me feel close to him. The universe was against us that day but we didn't panic, we worked as a team and somehow made it to Heathrow and caught our flight to San Francisco. And if that didn't work we had a plan B and I was all kinds of ready to throw some tears around at the checking desk.

Finally, we each know each other's strengths and weaknesses and that makes me feel stronger with him than without him.

Couple Seven:

M: Watching our children play together and have fun together and realising that we created this.

W: In the evening, after the kids are asleep, chatting at the kitchen table and going through our day. Laughing together at the chaos.