Twitter Account '50 Shades Of Gran' May Be The Funniest 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' Parody Yet

She slowly licked her lips, slowly undid the buttons of her blouse and slowly lay back on the bed. She did everything slowly, she was 86.

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) February 28, 2015

She moved closer until our lips almost touched, narrowed her eyes and said in a low voice, 'Hello stranger.'

She'd lost her glasses again.

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) March 4, 2015

She knelt before me, tugging gently then harder until finally it came. I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other slipper . .

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) February 20, 2015

In . . out . . in . . out . . harder . . faster! Finally she collapsed exhausted. She was never going to get the hang of this revolving door

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) February 19, 2015

Her fingers played all over his body until she found what she needed and gently eased it in. At last, she'd finished her Tom Jones jigsaw!

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) March 5, 2015

She bent over, eager to be disciplined. Then came the harsh words she'd been waiting to hear . . .

'Unexpected item in the bagging area.'

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) February 28, 2015

Her whole body tensed as he carefully attached the clamps. It was the last time she parked her mobility scooter on a double yellow line.

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) March 6, 2015

As she lay writhing on the carpet, her naked body covered in cream, I knew one thing. I was never taking her to the Cornish Tea Rooms again.

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) February 27, 2015

She bent over the kitchen table. 'Smack that bottom hard!' she cried. But it was no good, I just couldn't get my sponge cake out of the tin.

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) March 8, 2015

As the thick white liquid filled her mouth, she didn't know whether to spit or swallow. She was never too sure about Bailey's.

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) February 24, 2015

Even though she was in her eighties, she still needed to do it three times a week. Bingo's a hard habit to break.

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) March 5, 2015

She was surprisingly flexible for a woman in her eighties. She could do Tuesdays or Thursdays.

— 50 Shades of Gran (@50ShadesGran) March 5, 2015