PARENTS

'Why Can't We Keep Him Forever?' Mum Blogs Heartbreaking Questions From Kids About Dad's Cancer Diagnosis

14/05/2015 11:28 BST | Updated 28/05/2015 16:59 BST

There is no easy way to tell your children their daddy has cancer.

Julia Bryson, whose husband was diagnosed earlier this year, felt that being honest from the start was her only option.

Bryson decided to write about her experiences on her blog, Rainbeaubelle, to help her deal with everything she was going through.

"I’ve been talking to our eldest about how poorly his dad is," she writes. "There’ve been fresh questions like 'so is daddy not going to die?' and 'why can’t we just keep him here forever?'” which take a bit more explaining.

"It’s hard enough (impossible) for Rog and I to get our heads round, so God only knows how a six-year-old can be expected to process it."

cancer children dad

Roger Bryson, 48, has inoperable cancer and is currently spending weeks away in hospital, with few weekends at home.

On March 15 this year, she wrote: "On Wednesday, we were told my husband has cancer. The next day was our wedding anniversary. The day after that, we were told the cancer had spread...

"I feel like my world has ended."

"I started the blog before all this happened in 2012 but I wasn't sure where I was going, so left it," she told the Liverpool Echo. "It got to the point where it would have been strange not to mention Roger's illness and what was going on.'

Julia's emotional blog posts have been supported by strangers who have left lots of comments, especially when it got to the point when she had to tell her children.

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"Roger has been very strong and I thought the best way to deal with it with the kids was to be honest. Florrie is too little but Sam has asked. He's seen me crying and I tell him 'I'm quite sad about dad'... or 'I miss daddy'. It would be odd if I didn't get upset."

Her husband, a former BBC journalist, initially became ill in May 2013 when he was diagnosed with a perforated bowel.

At the time Julia was seven months pregnant with their second child, Florrie.

She explains that he was healthy, did lots of running, was a vegetarian and didn't really drink or smoke.

Home time! New post on my blog http://rainbeaubelle.com/home-time/

Posted by Rainbeaubelle on Wednesday, 6 May 2015

However after his operation, he seemed to be recovering well, but in January this year, his condition deteriorated again.

She explained that her husband became confused, couldn't focus and was rushed straight to hospital. Two months later he was diagnosed with cancer.

Since March this year, Julia has been writing about how she is coping on her blog. On 28 April, she wrote.

"Yesterday he told me: 'Mum, I told the teacher that daddy’s going to die.'

"Ok. Deep breaths. Followed by: 'She said I could choose a special book to take home and look at with daddy,' and a small smile and a hug which told me that made it a teensy bit better for him.

"These conversations are unthinkable to most people and I can tell you they are still unthinkable for us even though we know we’re having to go through them. "

Her most recent post, on 11 May, documents her struggling to cope with everything that is going on, including dealing with her children who are confused.

cancer blog

She writes: "People keeping asking me, how are you coping? Are you making time for you? Well I’m not sure if I’m coping, but if I am it isn’t through choice, just necessity.

"Time for me is so scarce, but mainly because every minute I’m not looking after the kids I want to spend with Rog."

Her time with her husband right now is sacred, and we can only pray that get to spend as much time together as they can.

Julia revealed that she has felt comforted by the comments and support on her blog: "Writing about it does help, and the support I’ve found from those reading my blog has been immense," she wrote. Read her latest posts here.

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