Americans reacted to Tuesday’s historic Paris summit, which could determine the future of the human species… by indulging in mass hysteria about a bear “raping” Leonardo DiCaprio.
While President Obama and other world leaders mulled the future of the planet in the French capital, the Drudge Report posted a link to an early review of ‘The Revenant,’ Fox’s Christmas day movie, under the headline:
The things one must do to win an Oscar these days...
DICAPRIO RAPED BY BEAR IN FOX MOVIE!December 1, 2015
The review, published on the conservative aggregation site, claims the ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ actor is confronted by a Yellowstone Grizzly, which invades him during a nasty mauling.
“The story of rural survivalism and revenge reaches new violent levels for a mainstream film,” the review squeals. “The bear flips Leo over and thrusts and thrusts during the explicit mauling. He is raped -- twice!"
Twitter responded with typical understatement:
I don't remember that Leo DiCaprio scene going down like that at all pic.twitter.com/obe4W4fgS2— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) December 1, 2015
Bear: "Did we get it *that* time?"
Director: "We got it. The next scene is..."
DiCaprio: "Hold on! I didn't feel present. One more take?"— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) December 1, 2015
Ever since this DiCaprio news broke, Twitter has been unbearable. Amirite?— Jim Antle (@jimantle) December 1, 2015
The Revenant, aka Look, Leo Basically Gets Raped By A Bear, Give Him The Goddamn Oscar Already— Sarah (@Cinesnark) December 1, 2015
Jesus Christ. Step away from Twitter for ONE minute and Leonardo DiCaprio get’s raped by a bear.— Ashe Schow (@AsheSchow) December 1, 2015
Whatever the truth, (and Fox executives are already denying the scene), it could finally be DiCaprio's year for the big one....