Leonardo DiCaprio Allegedly 'Raped Twice By A Bear' In Dubious Early Review Of 'The Revenant'

Americans React To Climate Summit With Mass Hysteria About DiCaprio 'Rape'

Americans reacted to Tuesday’s historic Paris summit, which could determine the future of the human species… by indulging in mass hysteria about a bear “raping” Leonardo DiCaprio.

While President Obama and other world leaders mulled the future of the planet in the French capital, the Drudge Report posted a link to an early review of ‘The Revenant,’ Fox’s Christmas day movie, under the headline:

DICAPRIO RAPED BY BEAR IN FOX MOVIE

The review, published on the conservative aggregation site, claims the ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ actor is confronted by a Yellowstone Grizzly, which invades him during a nasty mauling.

“The story of rural survivalism and revenge reaches new violent levels for a mainstream film,” the review squeals. “The bear flips Leo over and thrusts and thrusts during the explicit mauling. He is raped -- twice!"

Twitter responded with typical understatement:

Whatever the truth, (and Fox executives are already denying the scene), it could finally be DiCaprio's year for the big one....

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