I name this baby... Superman. And another one... Gazza.
Oh, and let's call this little mite... Gandalf.
And why not throw in Arsenal for good measure!
All the above are British children's real first names – and they have all been given official blessing by our liberal authorities.
In Britain, all names, however ridiculous, are up for grabs. Hence celebrities can bestow their children with the likes of Apple, Harper Seven, Zowie and Fifi Trixibelle.
The General Register Office says there are no restrictions on parents - except for exceptional cases, such as a name which could be deemed offensive, when an official could refuse to register it.
"I found that people with unusual names had a really hard time, particularly when they were children," she said.
They described getting teased and how traumatic it could be - because all children want to fit in. But when they became adults, they are often glad that they have something to help them stand out from the crowd.
"People with very common names sometimes feel that they aren't unique enough. So I think there's a happy medium to be struck."
So isn't it time we took a leaf out of baby naming books from other countries and make such monikers illegal?
Here are some of the worst offenders that have been officially banned in their own countries, but that any Tombola, Dickdastardly or Haribo could call their babies in Britain.
• Lucifer, V8, Christ and Messiah are among the baby names rejected by New Zealand's department of internal affairs. Disappointed parents wishing to christen their offspring with numbers (89), letters (J, I, T) and punctuation marks (*) were also given short shrift.
• Fish and Chips (twins), Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit also got the kybosh, though the New Zealand judges did allow Number 16 Bus Shelter and Violence.
• But the top of the NZ banned list must surely be Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.
• In Sweden, there is a law preventing parents from naming their children Metallica and Elvis. But in a parental fightback, a couple attempted to name their child Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116. Yes, it's spelled correctly. We've double-checked! And apparently, it's pronounced "Albin", though we're not sure how.
• In Italy, judges prevented a couple calling their kid Venerdi aka Friday. They reckoned the name - taken from Robinson Crusoe - would expose the boy to "mockery".
• Over in Norway, a woman was thrown in jail for two days for giving her child the unapproved name Gesher aka Bridge.
• On the other side of the world, the Malaysian government banned the name Chow Tow. It sounds harmless enough, until you realise the translation is Smelly Head!
• But in China, a family wanted to keep their baby's name short and sweet, by simply calling it @. Perfect for Twitter, we'd have thought.
• In Germany, the names Stompie, Woodstock and Grammophon have been turned down, whereas the similarly strange Speedy, Lafayette and Jazz were allowed.
• In New Zealand, a whopping 77 names have been banned. They include Lucifer, Mafia No Fear, 4Real, 2nd, 3rd or 5th and '.' (or full stop!).
• But surely top of the pile (excuse the pun) of banned baby names is this from Denmark: Anus. Apparently, the judges thought the baby's parents were trying to make an a**e of their offpring!
Keira Knightley and her husband James Righton welcomed their first child, Edie, in June. We love this name because it's short and sweet.
Jennifer Love Hewitt named her second child Atticus. The name choice was likely inspired by the beloved character in Harper Lee’s novel “To Kill A Mockingbird.” While Lee’s sequel was criticised for portraying Atticus as racist, we still love the uniqueness and rarity of the moniker.
Macklemore became a dad this year! The rapper and his wife Tricia Davis named their daughter Sloane. We love that they chose an Irish name that is edgy and different.
Naya Rivera gave birth to a baby boy in September. The former “Glee” star and her husband Ryan Dorsey named their son Josey. We love this pick because it’s a trendy, unisex moniker.
Arlo Day Brody was born in September and is the daughter of Leighton Meester and Adam Brody. This name is so unique and sound beautiful with a word name as a middle name. We guarantee this celebrity baby name will be a trendsetter.
Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher became first-time parents in February. We love this biblical name because it’s not overused (sorry Noah!) and has a lot of charm.
Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel welcomed baby Silas in April this year. We love that the couple chose a unique family name. Silas was the middle name of Timberlake’s maternal grandfather Bill Bomar, who passed away in 2012.
In October, Carey Mulligan and husband Marcus Mumford welcomed their baby girl and gave her the classic name Evelyn.
Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen welcomed their third child this year and named him Montgomery. We love that they chose to bring this old school name back into fashion.
Cate Blanchett welcomed a daughter into her family of boys this year. The 46-year-old actress and her husband Andrew Upton adopted a girl named Edith. This sweet name is a sophisticated choice that is rarely used, which is why we love it.
In February, actor and comedian Chris O’Dowd and his wife Dawn welcomed their baby boy Art. We love how sweet this simple name is and that it follows the trend of nicknames as first names (Art is derived from Arthur).
“Baby-Sitter’s Club” star Rachael Leigh Cook and husband Daniel Gillies gave their son this adorable name. According to Nameberry, “old man names” are coming back into fashion, which is just another reason to love the name Theodore.
Hilary Duff’s older sister Haylie became a first-time mom in 2015. Haylie and fiance Matt Rosenberg welcomed a baby girl named Ryan. We love that they used a traditionally male name for their daughter.