So you’ve found yourself back in the lonely hearts club just as you were planning a mini-break à deux, and you’re not best pleased with the situation.
Although no one enjoys going through a break-up, your mates are right: it happened for a reason and the heartache won’t last forever, even if it feels like it might right now.
So instead of eating your body weight in Dairy Milk and hibernating until 2032, make sure you do these seven things to get yourself through the sad times ahead (because trust us, they’re a’ comin’).
1. Fake it till you make it.
We know that right now you just want to mope around feeling sorry for yourself, and although you are totally entitled to do that (just don’t milk it), science says that the placebo effect of pretending to be happy, does actually help you feel better.
The research found that ‘putting on a brave face’ does have a positive impact on the brain. So fake it, people.
2. Do anything that might make you feel better.
While you are pretending to have your shit together - before inevitably going home and crying into your pillow while listening to Adele - you should also try getting out in public and do anything to distract yourself.
Research found that letting yourself wallow in sadness could actually prolong the agony. So ditch your pyjamas now.
3. Have a good cry.
Ok, although this might seem to contradict the previous advice, all we’re saying is cut yourself some slack on the crying front.
Yes, you don’t want to be that person who keeps weeping into their pint, but according to a survey, on average it takes people six weeks to stop crying daily, so if you’re still in this bracket, you’re doing just fine. We’ll bring the tissues.
4. Talk about your feelings.
Now we’re not saying make this all that you talk about for the next six months, but it is important not to bottle things up. After all, a problem shared is a problem halved. Counselors from McGill University, Canada, say that in order to survive a breakup you have to openly discuss how you’re feeling.
So choose people you trust, and give yourself a chance.
5. But be wary about writing about your feelings.
Bad news for the poets among you. Turns out that putting your feelings down on paper can actually be a form of self-torture when you’re struggling with heartache.
A 2012 study found that expressive writing can actually impede your emotional recovery. Maybe hold off on starting that novel then.
6. Give yourself at least three months to be sad.
Right now, this might sound like the worst news in the world – three whole months of feeling like this? But trust us, that time will fly by and soon you’ll be looking back wondering where the days have gone. In a study, a huge 71% said they already felt better after 11 weeks.
So hang in there.
7. Accept you might never fully get over it but that doesn’t mean it was the wrong decision.
Ah. There it is, every recently dumped person’s worst fear, maybe they were the ‘one’ and I’ll never get over it?
If it is any consolation ladies, it is far more likely that men are the ones who never get over past relationships, as a study found that women struggle more in the beginning but go on to get stronger, whereas men move on and it doesn’t hit them till much later. Sorry guys.