When you have guests over, itβs expected theyβll behave themselves. Unfortunately, in some cases, that just doesnβt happen.
Now, Redditors have dished the goss on the weirdest things guests have done in their homes. And while one of them is incredibly sweet, the rest are either weird or just plain gross.
The Chocolate Tree
βMy family is very hospitable. Itβs common practice for my parents to offer someone a place to crash for the night or two or more. My father had met this young German couple at a rally (in NYC) and offered them a place to sleep. They didnβt speak English much from what I can recall (I was in elementary school), but one day they asked my sister for some string and scissors; she didnβt think anything of it but did mention how secretive they were about why they needed it.
βThey stayed only two or three days but on the last day they didnβt tell anyone they were leaving. They just left a small branch from a neighbourhood park and attached to the branch with pieces of string were all these chocolate bars like Twix, Snickers, etc. With a little sign that said βthank youβ. To this day, my parents donβt know who they were or what they are up to now but us kids will always remember the nice guests who left us a chocolate tree.β
The Drumstick Thief
βOne of my neighbours drank too much wine and threw up purple vomit all over the carpet. Then she fell asleep and the chicken drumsticks she stole and put in her pockets fell out beside her.β
- -inkd-
The Curtain Sniffer
βFirst time I had a buddy of mine over to play some video games he walked right past my parents and sniffed our curtains in front of them. [He then said] βHad beans for dinner did you?β
βHe was right.β
- Nim0n
The Drop And Run
βMy neighbour came over when we were in like Grade 6. I know that he spent a lot of time at his cottage in the summer and his parents were very careful with the whole βdonβt flush if you donβt have toβ to not needlessly run water.
βSo heβs over, goes to the bathroom. About two hours later, he leaves, and my mom comes up to me and says: βLook in the bathroom - PLEASE tell your friends to flush.β There was this giant diarrhoea/lava mess in the toilet, mixed with some solids.β
- np89
The Dry Shave
βMy friend and his ex GF (girlfriend) came over, his ex pulls out a razor and starts dry-shaving her legs in my living room, with my parents right across from her.β
- kwag91
The Bed Wetter
βWet the bed and then just made the bed up like nothing happened. It was SOAKED, and wasnβt discovered until I flopped down on it. By the way, it was an adult guest.β
- Nyxtraza
The Bathroom Photographer
βOne time my ex and I had an old high school friend stay the night. We werenβt super close with him, but he needed a place to stay and always seemed relatively normal. Anyway, he took a shower and was in there for like an hour. We were both wondering what the hell he was doing in there when a public pic of his boner through his boxers popped up on our Facebook feed with some raunchy tagline.
βHe was literally taking photos of his bulge in our bathroom. Worst part is even though I donβt think he took a shower, he had the water running the whole time.β
The Towel Change
βHosted a dinner party of about 10 with a bunch of couples. Went to use our bathroom to find a completely different set of towels and soap set up from what we put out before everyone arrived.
βAfter pulling my better half in to take a look, we thought it too weird/funny to bring up at the table.β
The Angry Pooper
βI was babysitting a girl who was 10 at the time and Iβd been informed by her mom that she had some pretty deep anger issues. My daughter was around the same age, but had a camp to go to so she wasnβt able to be home to play with this girl. I told the girl she could go use the old desktop in my daughterβs room and play some games.
βAbout 10 minutes later I heard her run down the hall and slam the door to the bathroom. I stopped what I was doing and listened and heard her SCREAM, βCALL MY MOM RIGHT NOW, I WANT MY MOM!β
βWell, this girlβs mom was a nurse and wasnβt always easy to get hold of right away. I asked her through the door if she was ok and I was getting worried when she shouted, βI POOPED MY PANTS, OK!?β
βTurns out the girl had a sick stomach the whole night before and was trying to fart and instead ended up having a bad bout of diarrhoea all over my daughterβs computer chair, down the hall and in the bathroom. Obviously it wasnβt really something she could control, but I had to gather her heavily soiled clothes, rinse them out and then wash them and give her some of my underwear and shorts to wear (since she was kind of a heavy girl and wouldnβt have fit in my daughterβs clothes.) Her mom called me back about three hours later and just said, βWell that happens to her sometimes when she gets angry.ββ
The Clinger
βDidnt. Fucking. Leave. Invited a friend over on a Friday night to hang out for a bit. He crashed, no big deal. My wife and I had plans the next day and instead of going home, he tagged along. Ended up crashing again. Stayed the whole damn day on Sunday and FINALLY LEFT at 10pm.β
The Hallway Defecator
βMy younger sisterβs asshole boyfriend visited from Florida and stayed with my parents (sister still lived at home). The first evening he got drunk, insulted all of us and in the middle of the night pooped in the hallway, which my mom stepped in on her way to the bathroom.
βThe next morning, he blamed the cat, even though it was clearly human and which he reeked of because he never cleaned himself up. He got angry at us and caught a flight home a few hours later - still cursing the cat.
βMy sister stayed with him for two years after that. Whenever something gross happens now, we say the cat did it.β
The Genital Artist
βA friend of mine, without any warning or anything, drew about 10-15 pictures of penises and left them in various places around my apartment during a party. I kept finding them for months afterwards.
βIt became like a scavenger hunt for dick. One fell out of my boot in an airport bathroom one time. Almost a year later, I found the last one up above my top cabinets in the kitchen.β
The Blackout Incident
βA friend was over and too drunk to go home, so sleeps it off on my couch. I wake up to see her sitting on my coffee table with her pants around her ankles, urinating on the table and rug. And she is too drunk to wake up, just finishes and falls back asleep on the couch. So I clean it up.
βThe next day she is a wreck and I say nothing. And several times since Iβve heard her claim that she has never been blackout drunk or done something she canβt remember.β
The Cup Swap
βLet an old friend who now lives overseas stay at our place while we were out of town, when we got home all of our coffee mugs were replaced with mugs he had printed his passport photo on. Hilarious. Different, but hilarious.β
The Dog Napkin
βWhile eating, a friend picked up my puppy, rubbed his mouth on the puppyβs belly and proclaimed he had a βdog napkinβ. We were teenagers at the time, but it was still an extremely weird thing to do.β
The Toe Nail Clipper
βGrabbed the toe nail clippers from the bathroom and proceeded to clip his toe nails in the living room. Who the fuck does that at someone elseβs house?β
The Turd Smasher
βI had friends in town from Chicago and one of them clogged my upstairs toilet. Instead of asking for a plunger or telling us (because itβs no big deal... it happens) he put his hand in it and smashed it all up.
βWe were drinking later that night and he asked where the plunger was so we told him, he said βdamn I wish I would have looked thereβ. Thatβs when we, of course, asked [what had happened]... When he told us I almost puked. I couldnβt believe it!β
- jhoe89