THE BLOG

The Non Nuclear Family: Two Mums

18/06/2013 10:36 BST | Updated 17/08/2013 10:12 BST

Attitudes have changed dramatically since the 1960's when traditional family values ( white, heterosexual, 2.4 children ) played a large part in most people's lives. Fifty years ago lesbian and gay relationships were rarely discussed, much less recognised.

Now we see individuals on the public radar: Val McDermid, Rosie O'Donnell, Chely Wright, bringing children in to same-sex relationships, challenging previous conventional ideologies.

We are daughters, sisters, aunts and yes, even mothers.

Did you ever envisage that since you are a lesbian you would never have children. Well don't be so quick to presume...

Being a lesbian hasn't stopped women from having children and it shouldn't stop you either. I myself am a gay woman in a same-sex union and a mother of two amazing sons. They are well adjusted young men, surround by love and who love me and my 'wife' unconditionally.

Successful families are not those that have a mother and a father, but those who nurture well balanced, understanding and socially tolerant human beings.

As you consider the possibilities, you may want to discuss with your doctor or other LGBT couples the various ways to bring children in to your lives. Practical details need to be thought out very carefully, from who will carry the baby, to choosing a donor, adoption or fostering - whatever is the right choice for you and you alone.

Some may think you are deranged to bring a child in to the world in the current economic climate, or more specifically in to a lesbian household. Have no doubts that there will be questions asked by enquiring minds. From our experience we found that honesty was key, with our children and friends alike.

It doesn't matter whether family units are lesbian, gay, transgender or heterosexual - what is essential, however, is that the family unit is one of love, support and acceptance. If anyone should query your decision, you may just want to point out that studies* show we raise our children just fine thank-you. Mine are living proof of that and are proud to introduce their 'two mums' to friends.

In 2013 people expect to be acknowledged, and rightly so, for who they are and who they choose to love; regardless of sexuality, race, religion or gender. Unfortunately prejudice still exists.

By raising our future generation with early teaching about diversity, sexuality and tolerance in an open, caring and honest environment, we can create a society of emotionally intelligent children. Family, in my opinion, is defined by love not blood.

Above all else, don't forget to enjoy the experience, as children grow up very fast.

* U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study 2012