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Why Men Need to Be Alone - and Why Normal Women Don't Get It

06/05/2014 14:21 BST | Updated 02/07/2014 10:59 BST
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The reason men need to be alone, or have guy time, is because they are really just not as intelligent as women. They need time alone to think, reflect, appreciate and miss their woman, because they apparently cannot do these things with us around. Okay that's all bullshit. I'm calling bullshit.

David Zinczenko, author of Men, Love and Sex, gave probably the best reason for men needing to be alone, and he calls it "relationship rejuvenation" - which obviously can come in many different forms. He says, "Guy time - whether it's a weekend, a night, or a few hours for a game - is our way of entrenching ourselves in the lives we had before we met you. That doesn't mean the former life is better than the current one. It just means we need to shut the stall door every once in a while." Now that I can relate to. That actually makes sense.

But men have no barometer of this guy time. Guy time is one thing. They have a few beers with some guys after work, which is not really social because it's co-worker friends. They have their golf buddies, which come on, that could also be work related. I've heard that time and time again. They have their single guy friends that just want to grab a drink, which turns into 10. They have their fantasy football leagues, which let's be honest, is yet another excuse to have bro time. They have their brunch friends that are already married with kids and it's about the only thing this married man can do, so they have to go to brunch. And yes, men across America are now doing brunch. Google it. Men will always find a way to exclude women. Which is so ironic because their whole lives all they're doing is figuring out how to chase and land the right woman, and then when they do, all they can think of is how to exclude her. Wait, am I the only woman confused here? Look I am all for men having their time and being so damn sneaky about it. Trust me, we all need breaks from each other, both men and women. But what if men could figure out a way around this? A way to both please the lady and please themselves.

This is simple, and some men have mastered this. "Honey, I bought you a nice massage, and it's tomorrow at eleven. I took care of everything. All you have to do is show up. And do you mind if I go golf with the boys for a few hours while you're out? I'll be back around 3." Perfect. That man is a genius, and I've met a few of them.

The issue isn't that men are always excluding us, no. The issue is that we want to feel included in something. Women are not like men. I don't know a single 30 year oldish woman that will get up with me at 7am on a Saturday morning and go run or hike for 4 hours and drink beer. (This is of course an example of a golf equivalent.) Women don't go away on basketball weekends. Women don't need time to unwind after a long day of work, and even if we did, we wouldn't get it. Women don't even really do serious book clubs, that's the male equivalent to fantasy football, it's just another perfect excuse to drink.

We all know men and women are different, but why not embrace the differences and try understanding one another better? I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong here. But I think men feel included with one another because they're men, and they always include other men. And unfortunately, I think women sometimes feel excluded because they're women, and don't include other women.

Which leads me to only one conclusion, I will never understand women, or men.