THE BLOG

The Modern Way of Dating

10/04/2014 12:52 BST | Updated 09/06/2014 11:59 BST

The modern way of dating, as I have mentioned time and time again, can be quite painful. With cell phone apps such as Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Skout and so on and so forth, you can pretty much meet anyone, anytime, with a quick swipe of a finger. It is unbelievable. So why is it painful when it's so easy? If you haven't heard, men are hunters and chasers. They don't want a woman that they can meet, talk to for an hour, and then take home to bed. They want a woman that they can chase. Adversely, women want a man that makes an effort, puts some time in, and someone they can trust. What kind of effort does it take to swipe yes or no and what kind of trust can be built on a foundation that makes meeting strangers so easy? My point exactly.

But what has this done in relation to communication and dating, or the lack thereof? It has made it less likely for a man to approach a woman traditionally, in person, face to face, or even give a man the confidence and communication skills he must ascertain in order to actually facilitate a successful relationship. In other words, people aren't communicating like they used to, everything is becoming virtual.

Online dating is a bit better than dating apps, because sites like Match and eHarmony match people with you in a systematic way regarding your personality and circumstantial expectations for a potential partner. This is obviously better than swiping left or right through photos of strangers on your cell phone over a beer at the local pub. Either way, I think online dating can be extremely successful, if you're actually going on dates and putting yourself out there. Just simply getting out of the house should be your number one goal for finding the love of your life, unless you're seriously considering a food-delivery man. I tell most people, being with no one, is better than being with the wrong one. And that still reigns true here. However, being alone 24/7, except when you're out binge drinking with your boys or taking hot yoga with your girls, is not going to do much for your mental health either. Relationships are what build a solid foundation of discipline, independence, selflessness, trust, growth and support. Sure, anyone can establish a foundation of most of the aforementioned characteristics alone, but to master any of them, one must be tested and tried by another.

Relationships therefore, are what separate us from the animals.