THE BLOG

The Knackered Mum Retreat

11/11/2015 10:18 GMT | Updated 10/11/2016 10:12 GMT

The Knackered Mum Retreat offers the perfect getaway for knackered Mums to unwind, relax and re-charge in a luxurious childfree, stress-free environment.

Knackered Mums are welcomed to make full use of the retreat's calming facilities, which include everything from spacious childfree king size beds, childfree bathrooms, and childfree sofas, which are conveniently positioned in front of television screens playing back to back episodes of Friends, Gossip Girl, and Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Guests at The Knackered Mum Retreat are welcomed to take part in the numerous recreational activities available, which include getting a full night's sleep, sleeping past 6:00am, drinking a cup of tea in peace, and leisurely meandering the supermarket facilities unaccompanied.

Other luxuries at The Knackered Mum Retreat include fully stocked fridges, a limitless supply of hot tea and chilled wine, freshly pressed pyjamas, and dozens of half-dressed male model butlers who will attend to your every need.

Knackered Mum guests are also welcomed to enjoy a limitless supply of champagne while they unwind in the retreat's serene spa, which is staffed by highly trained, highly muscular male masseuses who can massage away the knots and strains of daily Mum life.

Upon arriving at The Knackered Mum Retreat, all knackered guests will be equipped with mobile devices for limitless Facebook browsing. These devices have all forms of non-adult entertainment disabled, ensuring the retreat remains a Paw Patrol, Peppa Pig, Bubble Guppie-free zone.

The retreat takes pride in ensuring the facilities are kept as stress-free and as childfree as possible, therefore any form of toy, nappy bag or finger food will be kept at reception until departure.

Knackered Mum guests are welcomed to stay as long as they need in our judgement-free resort. Our mission is to ensure you leave as relaxed and as re-charged as possible to return home less knackered to your wonderful families.

For bookings and reservations, please visit www.canthisplaceactuallyexist.com

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For more from Abbey, visit her blog The Son And The Moon, and follow her on Facebook and Twitter to check out her daily updates from life in the sandpit.