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Without a Voice

Posted: 21/07/2012 00:00

The preoccupation of youth in our culture has left a whole generation either forgotten or invisible.

In the last 80 years or so, sex was never talked about openly, much less homosexuality.

Women grew up in an era where marriage was the only socially and practically viable option, despite knowing that they were lesbian. They suffered fear and confusion coming to terms with the sexual and emotional attraction to other women.

It was an era of different roles and expectations. A time of bias towards heterosexuality when identifying as a lesbian was perceived on a scale from deviant to abhorrent or they were simply rendered out of sight.

Staying 'hidden' may have, of course, been voluntary in addition to being imposed - forced in to living a lie and enduring painful brushes with bigotry, when homosexuality was considered both a crime and mental illness.

It is no wonder many older lesbians are both resilient and survivors. They have earned their right to respect and advocacy, a proud and uncomplaining peer group.

But what about today?

Older people are all too often assumed to have no gender or sex. A class ignored by society. The mere existence of elderly non-heterosexuals is rarely, if ever acknowledged by the media, a taboo subject in mainstream culture.

For some, age has brought more burden, for others it has brought increased freedom and happiness. The most common reaction, in a generation accustomed to being in the closet, is a retreat back to the shelter that was necessary for most of their lives. A lack of legal recognition in same-sex relationships also leaves them vulnerable and unhappy.

In the UK alone there are over one million people who identify as being lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. An increasing population who are becoming more and more unprotected.

A pioneering study by Stonewall in 2011, confirmed our worst fears - countless pensioners feel unable to be open about their sexual orientation. The implication is that they don't receive the care and support that they so desperately need.

Miss Blake, 84, explained: "I went in to a care home where I confided to my carer that I was a lesbian. From that moment on, I was ostracised by the others living there and felt like a social pariah.

"Every time I went to bed I prayed that I would never wake-up."

Thankfully she has moved homes and is now settled but this is not a solitary case.

Ageism and homophobia are alive and well and it hurts!

We all have the right to be open about our sexuality without being marginalised, isolated and made to feel unwelcome. We also have the right to privacy if preferred. There is an urgent need to investigate these issues faced on a daily basis.

The elderly are often depressed and lonely especially within minority groups. Loneliness can be fatal - it is a fact.

Meeting these inspiring women has given me cause to think about my own future and facing yet more prejudice in my twilight years. A period when we deserve a compassionate end to our days, free from sexist attitudes and stigma.

There is a need to educate care providers so that we all receive the same level of care and support.

It seems that those who are not seen will be treated as if they don't exist.

Who will speak up on behalf of this abandoned generation?

But more importantly - for those brave enough to make their voices heard - are we ready to listen?

 

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The preoccupation of youth in our culture has left a whole generation either forgotten or invisible. In the last 80 years or so, sex was never talked about openly, much less homosexuality. Women gre...
The preoccupation of youth in our culture has left a whole generation either forgotten or invisible. In the last 80 years or so, sex was never talked about openly, much less homosexuality. Women gre...
 
 
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11:13 AM on 07/23/2012
Alex, interesting piece. Aging and how we process the reality for LGBT for our generation is another stage that we have to play by ear. Since many of our lives had no maps and we bush whacked our way to where we are now, hoping that those golden years have the same dignity as our Heterosexual counterparts.
For many, you will have the best cushion that money will buy. For other's the struggle doesn't seem to end.
Please visit my blog that is a chronicle of two senior gay men struggling to find peace and resolve. Just yesterday afternoon , we were serenaded by gun fire meant to harass and intimidate-at least 100 shots. We can only speculate that the gun isn't being point towards us. But the intend it to terrorize us which it is a success- we are reluctance to leave our home. So for some, we never have that sense of comfort that appears to be a given for the Heterosexual majority. We never seem to be able to but our feet up and our guard down.

Please visit http://str8jacquet.blogspot.com

Peace
12:36 AM on 07/23/2012
Thank you so much for your brilliant article. This is an issue that is so rarely mentioned in the mainstream media here in the U.S. Being old in Americca, even here in NYC, one becomes invisible. Then add being gay to the mix! There are organizations that help older gay people, but even with these organizations, not nearly enough is written about the invisibility of older gay men, women and transgender people!
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Brygida Biedro
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11:51 AM on 07/22/2012
A very important article on important and never-mentioned subject. Indeed in our western cultures aging is a taboo topic, not mentioning the aging issues of LGBT community. I believe that it will take much time to be open about that issue, it will take a new generation of LGBT people who now are young and open about their sexuality, who will age with time and in that process change the approach to that matter.
06:42 AM on 07/21/2012
This account on the plight of our older generation as they move closer towards the inevitable end is so important. It is a worldwide issue as society comes to terms with sexual preference and gender identity needs, and the expectations of those involved with aged care.
Many gay people are forced to return to the closet as they move into rest homes, no longer can they be free to be who they are for the simple reason that in most cases there is little training in these establishments to accommodate them.

It also gets worse for those who are transgender. Transgender individuals have many reasons why they may not have completed their transition towards their chosen identity, this becomes a very real issue for them and the carers who look after them.
Few organisations offer the ability to support these people with the dignity they deserve; already we have reports where the reaction to an aged person’s genital state did not meet the expectations of those providing the care, a disastrous situation for both patient and carer.
And don’t think this is due to solely a lack of training, all too frequently transgender patients are admitted to hospital, staff become confused on the appropriate action they should take, there is at least one case where lack of action resulted in death.

Unfortunately whereas someone who is gay might just be able to survive the discrimination and bigotry by their silence, the transgender cannot, they will be outed!