It's not for me to suggest that you are suffering multiple personality disorder, but rather that we are all, quite often, visited by different versions of our own selves. It can be hard to figure out sometimes which version of 'ourself' we should be listening to to promote mental well being. Here are some examples...
The egoic self: The ego, the Big I AM. The voice that wants to be seen, heard and loved. The voice that cares what other people think and tries to impress. The voice that most often gets it wrong because it's main concern is status driven and selfish. A tricky devil because the ego often makes you think it is your best friend. It fools you into thinking it is protecting you (occasionally it is - but not always). It makes you believe you are a good person when compared to everyone else! It's the voice that knows you are right at all expense. When challenged it can turn on you, making your better self feel weak and low. One moment she tells you that you are incredible, the next minute she reminds you that you are fat, ugly and stupid.
The panicked self - an off shoot of the ego. Always worrying, panicking, overthinking. Usually absorbed in things that have not happened yet, and may not ever happened. A scared little voice that constantly thinks; 'but what if'. Essentially a useless voice that helps you only to live in fear. So busy worrying and planning that life can pass you by.
In the Moment Self - The lesser seen, 'nothing matters but this very moment' version of you. A generally healthy way to be, but can be corrupted by the ego. Tends to come out to play when things are good, lighthearted and fun or when we are consumed by a task. May be seen when under the influence and can be influenced by the ego to do daft things if you are not careful - drunk naked bar dancing springs to mind, or hopping into bed with your best friends partner! In the moment self may spring up at times of great importance or during intense moments with those close to us. When she occurs nothing else matters. You simply are, you exist second to second rather than through any related fears and emotions. Worth cultivating as a purposeful, controlled way of being, rather than one that happens to you.
The Soul Self - super intelligent, super sensitive. Comes in fits and starts. Easy to ignore and over ride when the other louder voices get going. To access your soul self you may need to be having an 'in the moment self' moment simultaneously. Your soul self, is shy, she needs nudging out, and she will disapeer if you choose not to have faith in her. She is a flighty bird, but a wise one should you choose to listen. Your very best friend, and far more helpful than even the best intentioned Mum-advice or best mate chat. To get to know her, you first have to give her a chance. Let her whispers be heard. Then act upon them and see how much better things get. She may come up as a gut instinct or instantaneous reaction to something or someone. She is that sensible voice in your head that you usually ignore. Find her through stillness, silence and inner attention. Meditation, time in nature, communing quietly with your pets or simply just taking a few deep breaths can all help.
There are many subtle variations of these voices. They can all come at once, or aspects will show up alongside other voices such as super-hormonal self, sugar rush person or sleepy old grump voice. But the four voices above are fairly common states of mental being. For a healthier happier mindset I recommend you concentrate on bonding with the last two voices. Live in the moment and get in touch with the true you, the last two voices are wiser and happier than you could ever expect. Embrace them and begin to feel your own clarity.
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