They say the Devil has the best tunes, and whoever "they" are, they are correct. What these people don't mention is that the Devil also has the best Easter eggs.

This time of year, the shelves are stacked with chocolate eggs made by companies that would probably set fire to...

The pressure's off. Your author - I am proud to say - is no longer Britain's funniest blogger, meaning that I no longer have to come up with something funny whenever people come up to me and say "Go on, say something funny".

Not that that's ever happened to me,...

When I won the UK's funniest blogger prize for my Scaryduck blog earlier this year, I vowed that I wouldn't defend the title. So, here I am, defending my title.

Yes, those charming people at The Dog's Doodahs have got their retaliation in early,...

Zumba.

It's fun.

It's a party.

Dance yourself fit to the Latin beat in a room full of people in brightly-coloured leggings, and watch the pounds fall off.

That's all very well if you're into that kind of thing. But I'm...

To the fair city of Canterbury, taking Number One Daughter to visit the university of her choice. We arrive at the college's open day, via the city's Park and Ride, finding ourselves surrounded by what can charitably be called an interesting cross-section of society.

A smug feeling warmed me, realising...

Let me take you back to the year 1988. Thatcher was still in Number Ten, Kylie's 'I Should Be So Luck'" had just been knocked off the Number One spot, and Reading Football Club were officially the 43rd best team in England. On a good day, with a following wind....

It is often said that anybody who expresses an interest in running for office should automatically be disqualified from running for office, as the kind of person who wants to be in charge of everything should never, in any circumstances, be given access to the levers of power.

Back in...

To Camberley in Surrey for the first time in 25 years, to see the Judge Dredd movie at the local picture house. The town is much as I remember it, except for the addition of a new shopping centre; but I was disappointed not to spot the Camberley Cowboy, a...

I hope you've managed to get past the clumsy headline for this piece, it being my (doomed) attempt to harvest more clicks from the wilds of the internet through the dark arts of what sharp-suited people are calling Search Engine Optimisation. And the Lord above knows how I need to...

So, I make one throwaway comment, based on a photograph I took last year, about Basingstoke being a "wretched hive of scum and villainy" and an entire tiny corner of the internet goes mad.

I return from a brief sojourn in...

Shoes.

They're quite useful, and some people quite like them. In fact, some people like shoes so much, they will own quite extraordinary numbers.

Of course, there are sensible limits to the numbers of shoes a person can own without being seen as either a bit weird or...

Fitness fads come and go, some fatal, some not so fatal. I remember one which involved giant rubber bands that probably had hospital fracture wards filled to the brim with hapless fitness fanatics; while spaces under beds the world over are occupied by dusty exercise equipment which were used once,...

Camping! A battle between man and the elements since time immemorial, a life under canvas as families go back to basics, living off their wits and whatever the land can provide. Just as long as there is an electrical hook-up and decent wireless reception.

The act of loading one's earthly...

Night times have become a chore.

Having fallen victim to Restless Leg Syndrome, each evening before I go to bed I am forced to go for a walk around the neighbourhood else any attempt to go to sleep is doomed to defeat as my legs jiggle about like I am...

I've been writing various blogs for myself and various - excellent - organisations for the best part of ten years now. There have been ups (Two national 'best blogger' awards), downs ("A turd-in-process being squeezed out of the fundament of your own prolixity" being my...

Nothing is permanent. Nothing stays the same. I say this in sadness as another of my comedy heroes - the great Eric Sykes - dies at the age of 89, the post-war boom in comics taking another step toward extinction.

I met Sykes just the once, the same...

"Here in my car," sang eighties superstar Gary Numan, "I feel safest of all." I put it to you that he is lying through his teeth.

Driving a car these days is a dangerous business. Not only everybody who uses a car these days is a nutter - look up...

My last column for Huffington Post, on the possibility that close-harmony singing business Rock Choir™ might actually be a cult (it isn't, just in case you were wondering) was a first for me. It signalled the first time that somebody has actually reached out to me through the...

So, what's a cult?

Wikipedia says the word cult in current popular usage usually refers to a new religious movement or other group whose beliefs or practices are considered abnormal or bizarre. Cults use mind control and coercive persuasion to entrap new members and leave them isolated from the world...

In 1944, when he wasn't messing about with cats in boxes, the philosopher Erwin Schroedinger wrote a book asking the eternal question: What is Life? I find in my advancing years that life is far too short to read what he might have said, but I doubt it had anything...