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Like Attracts Like

17/02/2014 12:24 GMT | Updated 16/04/2014 10:59 BST

So my friend sent me a link to a site by a woman named Rori Ray.

She gives relationship advice.

An article I read the other day addresses an issue that a lot of women have - men that don't treat them with the respect they deserve.

So I'm going to chime in, in regards to some of the tips she has offered:

1. Ditch the bad boys:

Why ARE some of us addicted to the bad boys? Is it the thrill of it? Because we need validation from the opposite sex on our own self worth?

Or is it because we feel so crap about ourselves and we are operating on that lower frequency? Change the vibration and you'll weed out the bad boys.

2. Ditch the hard-to-get:

Do you really want to be playing games, and second guessing all the time? You will expend an enormous amount of energy trying to catch this person. And they don't want to be caught. AND it will be exhausting.

3. Ditch the distant, the unavailable, the porn-addicted, the confused:

Why would you want someone who is distant? Someone who shows no interest in you as a person? Who doesn't support and encourage your dreams and passions?

Someone unavailable? Why even go there? It can only end in heartbreak. A lot of men are unavailable. They may be emotionally immature, just in it for a good time, or worse yet - married.

The porn-addicted? Most guys love porn, but when it becomes an addiction? Totally different ball game. Men that are addicted to porn are often highly sexed and have a skewed view on not only sexuality, but also what sex is all about.

In fact a lot of guys use the facade of love as a means to sex. So they sweet talk their way into your pants with an ultimate goal in mind. And women use sex as a means to love.

We think that by giving a man what he desires, that he will love us in turn. Get why it will never work? You both have to be on the same page.

Someone that is confused? They don't know what they want. And they sure as hell don't know whether or not they want you. Stop wasting your time.

4. Ditch any man who isn't "into you" the way you want:

This is so important. If they only want you when it suits them, and this suits you, more power to you.

However if you want him to be into you - into everything about you, and he's not?

Time to unfortunately say goodbye.

Any man that picks you apart at the seams for your flaws (we all have flaws - none of us are perfect), will never accept you for who you are. They are the ones that are unhappy with themselves, so don't allow them to dump their toxic bullshit on you.

And if there's one thing I know, it's that you can't change anyone. You can't make them see. You're the only one who has to "see". So recognise that he's probably just not that into you (and all your "perfect imperfections").

5. Ditch your romantic fantasies and make up new ones:

Don't we all have romantic notions about what love should be? Life, unfortunately, is not a movie or a Nicholas Sparks novel (although I personally cling to the romantic idea that it can be).

So while I do agree with this statement a little, I also think that you should remain hopeful and use the power of manifestation.

So here's an exercise for you.

Write down what you want out of a life partner. Like a bucket list of sorts. This is how you manifest things. You send that vibrational energy out into the universe.

Want someone tall, and athletic, with green eyes, old fashioned values, who is stoked to curl up on the couch with you and watch a movie? Who cooks you dinner, cleans up afterwards, and then gives you a massage? Someone that allows you the freedom to be you, and supports you in everything? Who respects you?

Write it down.

You honestly don't know what might happen if you state your claim with the universe.

What? Thought you were going to escape the head-in-the-clouds, whimsical advice I tend to offer up?

No chance. Because I cannot help but to remain true to my beliefs, and I do believe that what you think about, you bring about.

So start loving yourself enough to understand and appreciate your own worth, don't let anyone treat you lesser than you deserve (you're the only person allowing it - remember that), and always speak your truth.

And always remember one important thing - we are all like a mirror, attracting our innermost hidden states, so before you embark on the journey of finding a life partner or soulmate, first make sure the love you have for yourself is all-encompassing.

Because after all...like attracts like.