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Amy Lamé

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Why Skype Sucks

Posted: 08/09/11 12:06 BST

I love technology; I know that girls aren't meant to be geeky and kitted out to the eyeballs in gadgets and gizmos, but I can proudly proclaim I have more than my fair share. iPhone 4, check. MacBookPro, check.. iPad2, check. iTV, check. Add in my iPod, various bits of older stuff like the quaint iSight and iMac and you will notice one crucial bit of information here. All of my gear is the product of Steve Jobs and his Apple cohorts. This is because they look good, they are easy to use and crucially, they work.

There is nothing worse than having a buff bit of kit go kaput, and when you can't call Ghostbusters, a trip to your local Apple Store's Genius Bar is the closest you're gonna get to Dan Akroyd and Bill Murray sorting out your troubles.

Some may say I've been brainwashed. The college I attended in America was an Apple "seed" school; whether the pun was intended has never been established. Apple, then a relatively fledgling company and desperate to kick against the Microsoft pricks, decided to make its products super-cheap to cash strapped college students at small, liberal arts institutions. Unfortunately I was too strapped so never bought into the discounted deal, but used the bay of Apple II's in the computer lab instead. I would stare in wonder at the mesmerising green screen, writing my French essays and dreaming of the day I could afford such a piece of cutting edge technology myself. My first experience of computing was Apple; I loved it and I was hooked for life.

Lots has changed since then. I would never have dreamed back in the early 1990's that I would be able to speak to- and see- friends and relatives across the globe via my computer. One of my most memorable moments last year was Skyping with my 92 year old grandmother a few weeks before she died; to her, the concept of instant imaging coupled with audio communication was sheer magic. I had learned to take it in my stride.

I really want to like Skype. So why don't I? Basically, for all the inverse reasons I love my i-gear. It doesn't look good, it isn't easy to use, and it never works. OK, not never, but it tends to work best when you're just a few hundred metres away from the person you want to communicate with. I could just as easily use smoke signals or tin cans and a bit of string. Or my personal favourite, flashing a torch on and off when you've been sent to bed early and your parents are downstairs watching TV.

Now that Skype is owned by Microsoft, it needs a serious overhaul. The website looks like it's for one of those foreign language discount calling cards they sell down the newsagents. The video imaging is pixellated beyond recognition- on Skype, youthful and living members of my family could be mistaken for my dead grandmother. And the connection craps out more often than a Cuban Cadillac. Don't try telling me it's my broadband; I'm tetrabyted up to my tits. Skype needs do de-naff itself and actually figure out how to work. Or even better, let Apple snap up Skype. Only then will I be happy.

 

Follow Amy Lamé on Twitter: www.twitter.com/amylame

I love technology; I know that girls aren't meant to be geeky and kitted out to the eyeballs in gadgets and gizmos, but I can proudly proclaim I have more than my fair share. iPhone 4, check. MacBook...
I love technology; I know that girls aren't meant to be geeky and kitted out to the eyeballs in gadgets and gizmos, but I can proudly proclaim I have more than my fair share. iPhone 4, check. MacBook...
 
 
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01:51 PM on 09/14/2011
On the basis Microsoft recenty bought Skype the chances of "Apple snapping it up" are very slim.

Haha re "broadbanded up to my tits"
06:21 PM on 09/13/2011
I love social networking! Especially you can let people know what's happening. I'm going to climb Kilimanjaro tomorrow on Wednesday, if you would take interest in recent activity raising money for charity, please visit at my donation page at:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/ChloeWang
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Melanie Hick
11:55 AM on 09/12/2011
I love Skype. As an ex-pat Aussie it has changed the way I communicate with my family in Australia. The fact we can leave a Skype connection running throughout a long family event (for free!) and people can drop in and chat like we're in the room makes Skype my number one favourite for connectivity.
08:27 PM on 09/10/2011
Instead of blaming Skype she might want to consider blaming Apple. I've found that Skype doesn't work very well on any Apple product especially iPhone 4. Android is better, but best of all is the Skype phone which unsurprisingly works because it has been designed for Skype. I no longer use the Skype App on the iPhone. So she should try out other platforms...also Skype has only been recently purchased by Microsoft...it seems that because Skype is now owned by Microsoft aka ''He who should not be named'' it now sucks. If you are happy there, stay in your Apple garden Amy.
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Craig Bovia
Vermont, 1791, women can vote, no slavery allowed
06:15 PM on 09/10/2011
The article is a bit "cheeky" at best. I am in Topanga, California and my one year old Grand Daughter is in Stockholm, Sweden and our free Skype works well. Occasionally, it will freeze up and we hang up and recall and all is well. Sure beats having to fly to Stockholm to watch her grow.
Thanks, Skype
06:00 PM on 09/10/2011
I could never get Skype to work properly either..It didn't work 5 years back and it doesn't now.My ADSL is fast enough but even a tekkie friend could only get it to work intermittently. A while back,after about the tenth try,I came to the conclusion that it just doesn't work very well and just gave up with it..
01:49 PM on 09/10/2011
This is what happens when yopu have a brand loyal zombie. They see all the faults when its a product not owned by "their brand". Dont get me wrong, I love SOME Apple products. Like IPhone. Ipads look cool, but I have never used them. I prefer PCs over Macs though. But to the point of the article; My internet connection is definitely not as fast as the (for want of a better title) authors, but my girlfriend has her daily, and very high quality video conversations with her mom across the Atlantic. Try smoke signalling that........ Skype is great. The you have facetime. Nokia have had video calling for many years, and it works pretty well. Why cant IPhones make video calls without a wifi connection? Now thats a little behind.
11:33 AM on 09/10/2011
the reception my mom and i had was so bad last sunday...she thought i said 'dropped a can of worms', when i actually said 'tropicana orange juice'
04:50 PM on 09/09/2011
That's why I use Google+ or iChat
02:33 PM on 09/09/2011
Skype's great and it works very good. I use the free skype-to-skype version of it and I use it for SkypeOut. It is actually one of the greatest technologies that we have in the modern Internet era!
01:36 PM on 09/09/2011
Skype is okay - you just have to not mind trying to connect two or three times. It has usually worked for me (internationally) on the second or third try to connect to the intended party. And that's not just at my home base but wherever I've used it.

Loved the post, though. Hilarious!
11:58 AM on 09/09/2011
Whenever I hear the gadget-worshiping and apple-brand-worshiping dumb-heads, I am amazed. After my first apple computer - amazingly expensive - that went 'kaput' after 4 years and being told 'no chance of repair ... its better you buy a new one' in 2006; I went ahead and bought a new one with iMac with OS X - again amazingly expensive - and after again 4 years this one is showing vertical lines and now a vertical white band which is pulsating.

Went to the repair shop and he tells me that this product has an inherent display-card problem and that he has several lying with this same problem and there is no separate 'graphic card' that you can buy and repair this 'inherent display-card problem'. THERE IS NO WAY TO REPAIR!!! Because Apple considers anything that is more than 4 years old as redundant!!!

I am so frustrated with this over-publicized company with their legions of gadget-worshiping and apple-brand-worshiping dumb-heads, that I am fed up and totally pi**ed. I have promised ... dump all expensive apple products including iTunes, iPod, iPad, iPhone and any f***ing thing with a damn 'i****' prefix!

Good luck with your dumbing-down as preferred by Apple.
08:45 AM on 09/09/2011
I have no problems with Skype. I live in Spain, and for $140 a year I can call all over the world. This is a savings on my Spanish phone bills of many hundreds of dollars. I love Apple products, but if Apple were to own Skype they would be charging a whole hell of a lot more money to their customers. Also, I just read that, unlike most large companies, Apple has no charity program. They have great products for which they charge high prices, but they don't give back anything to the world. At it's core, Apple is hard hearted and just plain mean.
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Jennifer Hagan
Expat Mother of two living in France.
09:09 AM on 09/09/2011
I live in France and I have nothing but problems with skype. I have the world unlimited and a US phone number which costs me less than the 140 a year but it is a pain in my buttocks. My calls get cut off nearly everytime. The call transfer works sometimes. When people call me at times I can't hear them or they can't hear me. When I had a PC, the problems were the same. The Skype for Mac is rarely updated and is basically crap. You can't even get an update if you use Linus with Skype. The version is so old that it has many glitches that aren't even corrected. They don't seem to bother. For five euros extra, I call out to any country in the world including cellphones with Orange. I only use my skype calls to forward my US calls to my home phone. I remember not to long ago, skype was done for a few days. Completely down. They had zero on the website about it. I'm glad that you've had no problems with. For Mac users, it could be a heck of a lot better.
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Itsbeenalongday
Eliminating poverty is smart business
04:10 AM on 09/09/2011
I have relied on Skype for the past 10 years while working in remote locations around the world. Just this morning I rang my sister in Australia from where I am working in Pakistan to wish her a happy 60th birthday. Reception this morning was a bit dodgey but nevertheless, the call was made and the cost was minimal.
02:27 AM on 09/09/2011
I guess she would be happier if Apple gets Skype and start charging $19.99 a month for the same service with a more beautiful website.