Wasting my life on pop culture blogs and gossip sites, so you don't have to.
Human beings have an insatiable appetite for sad love songs. We also love a good mystery. So just imagine our delight when these two treats combine to make a pop culture supertreat, such as "Who is the mystery man who inspired Adele's heartbreak album, 21?"
Well! Trusty old Heat magazine has been playing Jessica Fletcher, and identified the hot male heartbreaker as 31-year-old photographer Alex Sturrock, whose website has an absorbing (or, depending on how melodramatic you're feeling right now, 'incriminating') collection of shots of Adele. She's even in bed, for some of them. HIS bed? Or HER bed, with him wielding a camera at the bottom of it? The public has a right to know! (Okay, we totally don't. But can someone tell us anyway? We're nosy like that.)
It has to be said that Heat have built a pretty good case. They report, "The 31-year-old photographer secretly dated Adele from summer 2008 until April 2009 - when she started writing 21. Adele has spoken with remarkable frankness about the affair, but has never revealed his name. She said, "He's the love of my life. I wrote  to get over [the] break-up."
The article continues, "Alex was said to be living at Adele's Shepherd's Bush flat during this time, and she appointed him as her official tour photographer for her US tour in 2009." Heat quote an anonymous friend who says that the pair shared hotel rooms whilst traveling, and went to the Grammys together in February 2009. Juicy!
If you're secretly a bit sad that one of pop's mysteries have been solved, take heart. We're still obsessing over who Carly Simon was singing about in You're So Vain.
And there have been a series of pretenders to the throne regarding Kate Bush's The Man With The Child In His Eyes.
Personally, it's the chick in Billy Idol's Rebel Yell who bothers me. The lady who, in the midnight hour, cried "More more more". Every time I hear that song, I become more certain that Billy Idol is lying to us.
Diplomacy: A How To Guide
A neat little lesson in how to not piss off your co-stars or your boyfriends came courtesy of Emma Stone this week. Asked by Ellen DeGeneres whether Ryan Gosling or boyfriend Andrew Garfield was the better kisser, smarty-pants Stone replied "Apples and oranges, ya know. I love all fruit." I WISH I'd thought of that, but I said "Ryan" and then Andrew dumped me. So sad.
Diplomacy: A Not-How-To Guide
Kate Winslet, on the other hand, has been firmly sat down on the internet's naughty step for sorta calling Leonardo DiCaprio fat. Speaking on ITV's Daybreak about Titanic 3D, she remarked, "We do look very different, we're older. Leo's 37, I'm 36 - we were 21 and 22 when we made that film. You know, he's fatter now - I'm thinner. It's true though!" It is true, but the truth won't save you where the f-word is concerned.