Wasting our life on pop culture blogs and gossip sites, so you don't have to.
Poor Beyoncé. Over the past few years tabloid editors and online gossmongers have been tripping over themselves to giddily announce that the singer is with child. (See: 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010.
Then, right here in 2011, Beyoncé giddily announced (at the VMAs) that she was with child. And now no blighter will believe her.
First came the rumours that she sported an "enhanced" bump for that well-timed announcement. Now, mere weeks into the most hyped pregnancé of all time, the word on Crazy Street is that Beyoncé is faking the whole thing. This clip, of her bump apparently deflating, is Exhibit A.
In truth, Lipgoss can't understand why the world cares so much about a celebrity pregnancy. After all, nothing much changes when a celeb gets preggers: they don't get fat, they don't leave the house covered in baby sick (although the nanny does), they don't stop playing 21-year-olds in movies. It's not like the real world, when a kid actually changes your life.
Perversely enough, the no-pregnancy rumours about Beyonce are escalating in tandem with rumours that Jessica Simpson IS pregnant. To the point where it will be seriously embarrassing if she isn't. Then again, this is exactly what the world did to Alyson Hannigan a couple of months ago.
Snoop Dogg Grows Swede
If you're not into womb-related rumours, the internet still has something for you this week. As the Daily Star reports, budding horticulturist Snoop Dogg issued a Youtube invitation to champion swede-grower Ian Neale, requesting his presence at Snoop's Cardiff performance.
Ian is the hero of the narrative, mainly for his comment that, "I wouldn't pay to see him. I'm still deaf."
Mischa Barton is so busy right now
We know that every morning you wake up and think, "What on earth is Mischa Barton doing today?" And we can tell you! She's, like, super-busy. In fact, she's so busy, that she's busy turning down projects because she's too busy to do them. As dlisted.com point out, it's just a shame that she didn't turn down this project, in which a sinister-looking photographer rubs her face in steak.