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Five Golden Habits for Daily Life: Because Our Thoughts Become Our Actions

21/11/2014 12:50 GMT | Updated 20/01/2015 10:59 GMT

Spiritual master Swami Jyothirmayah tells us that life has two great mysteries -- birth and death. He adds that between the two lies the present but that most of us spend so much time living in the past or future that we're surprised when our lives go by so fast.

How conscious are you in your experience of daily life? Do you have fun? Do you create exciting projects and share your time with those you love? Or are you unhappy? Are you always complaining about loss? Are you waiting for somebody else to make the move that will take you out of your comfort zone to a better place?

The Talmud teaches us that our thoughts produce our words, which in turn become our actions and ultimately our fortune. In other words, whatever words and actions you sow now will return to you at some point.

Ask yourself: what do you want to reap in life? Do you want joy and lightness? Or are you looking for criticism and controversy? The decision is entirely up to you.

Through my coaching practice, I have learned five golden habits that help me maintain my daily consciousness, and I'd like to share them with you here.

Have fun

Can we have fun earning money and spend our daily lives full of enthusiasm? Isn't it selfish to have fun while others are suffering? Shouldn't we first take care of others and only then think of ourselves?

Life doesn't have to be that hard. Women, especially, tend to give up their own needs and desires in order to take care of others. They often hide their intelligence and their dreams because they're afraid of being judged. But both sexes can discover the activities and career paths that give them pleasure. The bottom line is that you can take care of others and enjoy your life at the same time.

Life becomes exciting when we devote our time to activities we love. When we have fun, others have fun, too. Just look at how children and animals play naturally without thinking: for them, life is a game.

Impart fun and joy

Are you wary of your surroundings? Or do you transmit enjoyment to others? Do you regularly conjure up smiles?

No, I'm not saying that you should always act nice. But you also don't need to play the pessimist, the one who just ruins other people's joy. Remember: your greatest enemies are your negative thoughts and convictions, which only hide your fear of criticism.

Luckily, there is another option. Instead of making life miserable, look instead for your joy. And surround yourself with people who share in your fun.

We adults have unlearned how to play and act naturally. But be honest: aren't we more attractive and magnetic when we shine and spread playfulness?

Don't take anything personally, and don't get personal

How often do we evaluate other people's performance negatively? In reality, this is nothing more than self-criticism. Deep inside, we harbour a judgment of ourselves that was levelled at us long ago.

It's important to maintain our integrity, but it's also important to feel appreciated. Maybe some person's words or actions hit a sore spot or were offensive to us. That emotional response points to an event that happened in the past, an old wound that's awoken. That awakening may hurt, but it can also mean that the wound is now ready to be healed. So whenever you comment on something, be sure to acknowledge the other person and then suggest an idea for improvement.

We are vulnerable animals with an ego and a soul. We can't control what others think of us, but we can remember that whether their input is valuable or destructive, it really shows us what they think of themselves.

Give up destructive criticism, whining and blame

Imagine that you're sitting in a room with a group of people, and one person keeps hogging the conversation. Isn't it obvious that that kind of behaviour bothers others?

Maybe people who do that kind of thing are in a place where they need a lot of attention. But let's stop and think about this from a different angle. Do we know where they're coming from and what they've achieved in life? They might be seeking some kind of help right now. Or maybe they just need more time to learn to listen. The point is that a little compassion often goes much further than ignorant criticism.

Whining and complaining are a way of delaying or abdicating responsibility. When we waste our time whining, it means that we've given away our power. Wouldn't it be better to remember that every problem has a solution and every individual the power to implement it? So when you catch yourself complaining about some situation, take that time and energy, and use it instead to examine the problem and work towards a solution. Before you know it, you'll have nothing to complain about, and you'll have gained a great sense of satisfaction and power.

Blame is one way of drawing attention away from ourselves so that we don´t have to change our own behaviour. But whenever we blame someone else, in the end we're actually blaming ourselves. The other person is just our mirror.

We are learning and growing in every moment of our lives. Do you know which direction you want to take and how to perform at your best?

Forget rationalization, self-justification and killer words

Some people constantly feel that they have to rationalize or justify their decisions and interests. Maybe someone else felt hurt when they really spoke their minds. But truth also creates clarity, so why do they feel they have to justify themselves? This sort of behavior is just a way of hiding their fear of being attacked.

Killer phrases like "You could never succeed anyway," especially when repeated several times, can destroy a relationship. But we can just as easily choose to have loving daily interactions. So instead of saying something destructive or negative, make your daily conversation appreciative.

We're surrounded by both negative and positive thoughts on a daily basis, which is why it's so important to choose our own thoughts carefully. Ancient poets like Rumi and our contemporary spiritual thinkers and coaches can help us with this in order to bring out our highest potential.

It's not easy to be aware of our daily thoughts and take charge of them. But all of us can do it. What are you doing to light up your daily life?