I know you've seen the explosions, the fights and the F words. Not to mention the drinking, pregnancies and shagging exes daughters, but Jezza is a comedian harlequin dressed in a grey Burtons suit.
Here's my top ten reasons why this little guilty pleasure is secretly good for you.
1- Jezza tells it straight. I know the guests often have heart breaking stories, webs of lies or just a pure barrel of filth, but sometimes you need to hear it straight. It can help you reflect in your own personal problems and give yourself a good talking to.
2- Cilla had one with a quick reminder. Norton's got his own show. And Jezza has one dishing out the crème de la crème of advice. The almighty Graham!
With his soothing Northern tones and gentle persuasion, it's like a lullaby on a cold winters day. I feel he could move mountains with his sound advice and his guests always get 'follow up care.' Um, jealous! I want my own Graham in a little box for when things go crackers to help me pick up the pieces. Not fair!
3- You thought you had it bad in life with Mildred in accounts being a cow to you, but some people have been so naughty on The Jeremy Kyle show. Cheating on their partner, stealing from family homes, getting married to their dog (not sure I've seen the latter but perhaps I could make it a first), and they repeat the process over and over again. It makes you realise your not that bad for eating an extra cupcake or pinching your friends dads bottom.
4- They like arguing. They like shouting, they like raising their voices and sometimes there's the odd lashing out. What is quite nice about this is that then we get to see a couple of Jezza's sexy sidekick beefcakes getting involved. When this happens it's all muscles, rough and tumble. And then Jezza tells them to get out, cause he's sick of their faces. Pure entertainment!
5- You learn the art of language. Where else would you hear lukatar (look at her) said in such a prolific manner? It even got made into a chart topping song-
There also other delicacies heard from guests such as 'at the end of the day,' 'know what I mean,' and, 'get some manners, would yer?'
6- When you're in hangover city there's only one way to go. Whether it's a weekday or a Sunday Jeremy will be there to soothe your hangover and what better way to nosh on your fried sausage whilst watching a bit of greasy television?
7- Tell me where in another show would you hear, 'So, my next guest is...' and not know what their going to come out and do? Jezza keeps you hanging on the edge of your seat, like a rollercoaster in a turbulent tunnel, you never know whether you will laugh or cry at the next guest.
8- Jezza is only human. So sometimes, when our darling presenter gets's really wound up, he loses the plot too! He's got really quite edgy in recent days, telling the guests off about their life choices and saying 'get off my stage as I don't like your face.'
Oh Jezza, you animal!
9- 'Your only here for the free hotel!' I've heard that one a zillion times on The Jeremy Kyle Show. And we all like a little freebie in life, don't we? How many times have you ever blagged something for free or taken an extra champers at a launch, only to get absolutely sozzled and then feel bad. Gluttony and greed, we're all guilty of it. With Jeremy's guests you realise its O.K, we're only human, we all love free things and they do too (even if it is a Manchester Travel lodge and a free warm beer).
10- When you run down the shop in your onesie, or have mascara streaking down your cheeks, whether you get drunk and tell the bus driver what you really think, you can always congratulate yourself and salivate in the thought that at least you haven't done it on national television!
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