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Ashley Hames

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Bored of Vaginas

Posted: 08/09/2012 00:00

So if you've been conscious for the past week or two you'll have seen that Naomi Wolf's recently released book Vagina: A New Biography has been getting its fair share of column inches.

Calling it Vagina is obviously designed for maximum shock value. Cunt would have been far more effective, but that's America for you. Still some distance to go.
I have to ask though, am I the only one that's bored rigid by feminists banging on about their vaginas?

I think via Germaine Greer and The Vagina Monologues we've surely got the message by now - It's in between your legs and there's a really sensitive bit of it that we, as men, ought to concentrate on to give you max pleasure. And we should be nice and kind and respectful to it at all times.

Most of us do our best.

But this constant reinforcement of The Vagina smacks of insecurity. Why the obsession Naomi? This isn't a symptom of some underlying issue with body image, is it? I hope not. Of course, aesthetically speaking, vaginas aren't exactly Constables. Neither in my opinion are male genitalia. But that's cool. Or is that not cool?

Whatever, by battering me senseless with how wonderful it is, and reinforcing IT with almost other-worldly powers, I'm starting to fear the bloody thing.

Geez, there'll be someone coming along next telling us their bits are so extraordinary they can
double up as a cheese grater.

Seriously though, there's something oddly childish about this buttressing of the vagina. It's mine! It's all mine. And I love it. Yes, yes, I really do. Love, love, LOVE IT! It's a very special thing. Really! Honestly, I do. It makes me feel good and you CAN'T take it away from me.'

Alright, calm down. I heard you. About 20 years ago.

I know that historically things have been tough for the female sex. I'm sure there are areas that we can all work on but I think we should count our blessings. These days you can be the darling of the Western World in a band called 'Pussy Riot.' Would an all-male band called 'Penis Frenzy' have garnered the same support? Doubt it.

A woman is free to divulge the intimate details of her vagina and is hailed as a radical, her book a breakthrough in feminist literature. If a man did the equivalent with a book called 'Cock,' he'd probably be dismissed as an ego-centric sex--obsessed weirdo. Possibly with good reason. A penis is just a penis. A vagina is just a vagina. Why embellish them with all these complications?

I am aware, by the way, that Vagina isn't just about the actual biological zone, but if you're going to call it that, then I'm assuming that's where you want me to focus. Really though, you should have called it, I Have Nothing Much To Say But I Thought I'd Say It Anyway then we could all get on with having orgasms or not.

On which point, does this obsessive concentration on the female orgasm really help matters? I think it just ups the pressure - both on men and women. Sure, some women have problems, some don't. Some men have issues, and some don't. Some people can run really quickly and others can't. Help is out there.

Most notably, Wolf does come up in the book with the supposedly 'new' revelation that the
vagina is connected to the brain.

Fuck me; 'A' for effort right there.

 

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So if you've been conscious for the past week or two you'll have seen that Naomi Wolf's recently released book Vagina: A New Biography has been getting its fair share of column inches. Calling it Va...
So if you've been conscious for the past week or two you'll have seen that Naomi Wolf's recently released book Vagina: A New Biography has been getting its fair share of column inches. Calling it Va...
 
 
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10:49 AM on 09/11/2012
lol yh so what exactly is to 'get' about it then? we were all concieved with 'v-j's, nipples too..
just some of us, do grow out of it ;p
lol tho do we, do we really? ha, no.
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Mickey Mouse 1
There are no lies or deceit on a chess board.
06:46 PM on 09/10/2012
Bored with gay marriage.
06:34 PM on 09/10/2012
I see what he means, and Wolf does seem a bit short of ideas, but I'm afraid I didn't get more than a third of the way through this article. It's at least as tedious as the discourse it complains about.
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Rob Ferris
03:08 PM on 09/10/2012
Who cares, really?
If it does some good then have at it, it's easy enough to ignore otherwise. Yes, it seems a bit much at times but it's not as if there's a shortage of dudes obsessed with their junk too.
It would be treated differently if a man did it, and that is a double standard, but the vagina thing has roots in feminism that don't exist for men.
There's a lot coming from modern feminism activists that is over the top and unnecessary, but the same could be said of literally any other group (there's a lot that is absolutely necessary too). This one isn't such a big deal.
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loulou11
09:40 PM on 09/09/2012
I know the feeling, the Vagina is getting as many headlines as Assange lately.
11:52 AM on 09/10/2012
But have you ever seen them together on TV at the same time? Coincidence? I think not.
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loulou11
11:57 AM on 09/10/2012
You made me chuckle out loud there, thank you.
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Sven Storm
Edit your micro-biology.
12:04 PM on 09/09/2012
There certainly isn't any mystery or romance anymore.
10:30 AM on 09/09/2012
Tsk tsk Ashley, another ill thought out attack on feminism's attempt to reclaim a woman's body. Bear in mind Ashley that the number of vaginal cosmetic surgeries is increasing all the time due to the mainstreaming of pornography and the pressure on women to have symmetrical labia that look akin to what might appear between a Barbi dolls legs. So I'd cheer "Good for you Naomi" for her contribution to a counter culture that is trying to encourage women to perceive themselves and their bodies as more than a "fleshlight" for male pleasure. Attacking her efforts as "childish" and "obsessive" is not a reflection on Ms Wolf but a reflection on your lack of comprehension about the pressures on women in NW Europe to conform, even between their legs (as the word vagina seems to make you wince), to within parameters of male constructions of fantasy. Ashley you could well do with trying to develop some empathy for the different anxieties of women and the pressures upon them- its not all about 'everything is rosy in the garden' so long as you're getting your rocks off on your sofa on a Sunday afternoon.
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Ashley Hames
11:14 AM on 09/09/2012
Wince? Quite the opposite. I love the word vagina. I think I have empathy too - the mainstreaming of pornography that you mention has had me thinking about a penis enlargement for too long now
11:24 PM on 09/09/2012
Next time Ashley you're haranguing a woman who is trying to make some efforts to increase education around the vagina, perhaps you could spend a few minutes reflecting on how many young girls and young women are forced to undergo genital mutilation by having their clitoris and sometimes their entire labia cut off or sometimes ground off between two rocks (parts of W Africa), and their (esp in India) vaginas sewn closed to make them more marriageable by i) reassuring their husbands that sex will be far too painful for the women for them to ever contemplate straying and ii) to make the vagina tighter for the male pleasure. This is one of the most significant sources of infections for HIV as frequently the girls are done one after the other using the same instrument. In India, the constant tearing/ restitching of the vagina (after childbirth) and subsequent scar tissue can cause the wall between the vagina and anus to tear causing the women to become incontinent and cast out by her husband's family onto the street to live as a beggar.  It can also the uterus to stretch and become distended as even the menstrual blood struggles to be passed out through the teeny hole left. Seriously Ashely, why knock women for trying to do some good in raising awareness? .
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george martini
I wasn't always this introverted.
03:09 AM on 09/13/2012
Thanks for the vagina monologue. I'll never be able to think about sex in any way, ever again.
06:20 PM on 09/13/2012
It's what I go best George, turning the entire species of men asexual, one bloke at a time.
08:15 AM on 09/09/2012
"historically things have been tough for the female sex"

Careful, your white male privilege is showing.
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Mother77
12:55 AM on 09/09/2012
But women have been listening to men rattle on about their penises for years.
12:28 AM on 09/09/2012
I think you're jealous
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Lykos
Nobody Never Eat No Fifty Eggs
06:32 PM on 09/08/2012
{continued}
Actually, i just said "wasn't being attacked by anyone", but that's wrong. The harrowing tales of female circumcision on another Huffpage are definitely 'ginas under attack. Just to be clear.
06:10 PM on 09/08/2012
For a different take on the subject, watch "It's Not You...It's Sex." on youtube.
04:14 PM on 09/08/2012
You can take the boy out of Stourport, but you can't take Stourport out of the boy.