2013-05-18T14:26:33-04:00 Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/index.php?author=andy-lopata Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Andy Lopata Good old fashioned elbow grease. tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3284738 2013-05-16T06:29:30-04:00 2013-05-16T08:47:45-04:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
If not, how many oppoprtunities for powerful introductions are you missing every year?

The ability to educate our network about the people we want to meet and to enable them to both recognise the connections and make the introduction is key to a successful referrals strategy. It is an ability that many people lack, mainly because we are either too wary of asking for help or because we ask for too much.

It's an old cliche but often less really is more. When I worked with members of networking groups on putting together an effective sixty second presentation asking for referrals, the most common mistake was cramming in too much information.

People were worried about missing out by failing to mention key information. Yet we live in an information age, where we are bombarded with things we have to remember. And that means we have to be much more selective about the information we take on board and retain. The more you give me to remember, the more I have to forget.

Discussing the six modern alternatives to the outdated 'elevator pitch' in his excellent book 'To Sell is Human', Daniel Pink discusses the one-word pitch. The idea is based on a 'one-word equity' concept developed by advertising legend Maurice Saatchi. According to Pink, Saatchi "argues that a world populated with 'digital natives' has intensified the battle for attention in ways no one has fully comprehended. Attention spans aren't merely shrinking, they're disappearing. And the only way to be heard is to push brevity to its breaking point."

Pink then quotes Saatchi, "In this model, companies compete for global ownership of one word in the public mind. When anybody thinks of you, they utter that word. When anybody utters that word, they think of you."

In his book, Pink illustrates the point by asking which technology company you think of when you hear the word 'search' or which credit card company springs to mind when you hear the word 'priceless'.

The same approach can be taken with stimulating referrals. What are the key words, the hooks, that will make your network think of you when they hear them?

I was mentoring a firm of financial advisors on their referrals strategy today. One of them mentioned that they had received a referral to someone who was changing their job. On hearing that description I immediately pictured someone in my close network who is in the same position. Yet I hadn't thought of his needs for a financial advisor before.

It may not always be one word but you need to give your network clear signposts to who you want to meet to enable them to refer you with ease. "Anyone with money to invest" simply doesn't work for financial advisors in the same way that "people changing jobs" will.

Often you need laser-like focus. The advisor who mentioned people changing jobs explained that one of his Champions is a matrimonial solicitor. There would be no point in telling that solicitor he'd like to meet anyone getting divorced, unless the lawyer is prepared to spend a large chunk of his time referring him. Instead he needs to identify a sub-set of people getting divorced who would be most valuable for him to meet and ensure the solicitor thinks of him when meeting those people.

You can adapt your hooks to the network and knowledge of the Champions you are equipping to refer you. But in an age in which we have to contend with a barrage of information, keep your message clear, focused and concise and create it to ensure people consistently recognise opportunities for you when you're not there.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3069858 2013-04-14T19:00:00-04:00 2013-04-14T17:50:29-04:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
Unfortunately potential is often not realised. Most people do not take the time to understand just how effective LinkedIn can be in helping them achieve their objectives. Instead they treat it in the same way as any other new technology, by applying the same tired and lame practices.

Despite its tremendous growth in popularity over the last five years LinkedIn is in danger of being sunk by spam.

As the owner of a group on LinkedIn I have to waste a frustrating amount of time moderating spam posts in the discussion forum. The spam will range from completely unrelated posts dumped in the forum in the hope of selling someone's products or services, to blog links and event invitations shared with no comment or attempt at discussion.

Often you will find that the blogs and invitations are duplicated across a number of different LinkedIn groups. That sends a very simple message to me - the person (or robot) posting them does not care at all about what other people in the forum have to say or in entering discussions, they simply want to broadcast. They are using LinkedIn as an advertising forum.

But how effective is this approach? Look at most discussions in LinkedIn groups and you see real engagement where the poster has reached out and asked for opinions. Share your latest blog by all means, if relevant to the membership and focus of the group, but don't just link dump, ask for other people's experiences and viewpoints. Where a link has been posted with no comment to frame it, there tend to be very few comments or 'likes'.

Link dumping in groups is one thing, LinkedIn users can choose to ignore such activity, annoying as it is. Much more dangerous to people's willingness to engage with LinkedIn is the rise, particularly prevalent over recent months, in spam messages.

I now receive several general messages a week direct to my LinkedIn inbox. People inviting me to events, asking me to sponsor them, telling me about their latest product or service. I say inviting, asking and telling me but that is being generous. The messages are scattergun, sent to the originator's entire LinkedIn network and, sometimes and somehow, even to people to whom they are not directly connected.

Why am I sharing this? Sure, I'm no great fan of receiving spam messages. My inbox is full enough as it is. But the problem this causes, or reflects, goes deeper.

The more that people abuse LinkedIn the less likely they are to explore its true potential. As a result, the less likely it is that they will benefit from membership of the network. In addition, the more that people receive what they perceive to be spam, the less inclined they will be to engage with LinkedIn, the more likely that they ignore other messages through the site and the less effective the network will become.

Any network is only as strong as the community of which it is constituted. For LinkedIn to reach the heights its functionality promises, that community needs to stop spamming and remember the Golden Rule of Social Networking - Engage don't Broadcast.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2711534 2013-02-18T12:00:24-05:00 2013-04-20T05:12:01-04:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
We all like to know when we're doing something well but one of the advantages of a strong network is having people who genuinely want you to succeed and who will be honest with you when you need to do things better, differently or not at all.

One of the most common exercises I set my mentees on Referral Programmes is to ask their network for their perception of what they do for a living, as a way of finding out how effectively they are getting their message across. While they are doing so, I also suggest they ask their contacts what their biggest strengths are and where they can improve. Many people shy away from the latter task but a large number have also found it incredibly valuable.

I make no secret of the impact feedback from my network has had on our business. In fact, without members of my network giving brutal feedback several years ago, we wouldn't be in business now. We were on the wrong track, losing money and throwing good money after bad. It took the objective view of a Mastermind Group to recognise where the problem lay and give us the kick up the backside and confidence to change course.

Of course, feedback is a two way process and you have to be just as willing, when asked, to be honest with the people you trust and care for as to ask for their honesty.

I'm a Fellow of the Professional Speaking Association (PSA) and attended the London Region meeting on Saturday. To kick off the day there were five 'Showcases', where Associates and Members presented ten minute talks and waited for feedback from their peers. It's one of the most frightening talks you can give, presenting to professional speakers and asking for their feedback.

The interesting thing is that much of the feedback in these session is often geared to praising the speakers and their contribution rather than offering genuine constructive criticism. In some cases the balance of praise to critique does not seem to reflect the presentation that had preceded it. The PSA is a wonderfully supportive community but is it necessarily supportive to simply praise rather than encourage and signpost improvement?

Former PSA and Global Speakers Federation President Alan Stevens, who was also present and who trains people in presentation skills, clearly felt the same. In the PSA Facebook group yesterday he said,

"'If you can't say anything real nice, it's better not to talk at all, that's my advice...' or so Sydney Clare wrote in the lyrics to "Please don't talk about me when I'm gone" back in 1930. But is that the best policy when offering feedback to speakers?

"It's important to encourage people, and the speaking community here in PSA is wonderfully supportive, with people being given applause and praise for their performances in front of their peers. However, the PSA exists to help speakers develop, not just to tell them they delivered well.

"My view is that the balance of praise versus constructive feedback is strongly weighted in favour of the former - too strongly in my opinion. If we can't offer direct and honest advice to help people improve in our community, where else can they receive it? All of us should also be professional enough to heed the advice offered, even if we find it hard to listen to."

Are you asking for and open to honest, genuine, no holds barred feedback from your network on a regular basis? And are you offering it in return? If not, pick up the phone and arrange to meet with the people you trust the most. Ask them for their feedback and let them know that you are there to help them if they choose.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2629520 2013-02-06T08:03:27-05:00 2013-04-08T05:12:01-04:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
Regular light touches, just to show the other person that they are in your mind, can have a tremendous impact. The key is that those touches must be about your contact, not about you. It can be tempting to send a regular email with an update about what has been happening in your life or business, but that can easily become impersonal and will often struggle to touch the other person and show you're thinking of them.

If you know the people in your network and their interests then you can truly personalise your follow up to them. Read general interest magazines and blogs (I subscribe to The Week, a weekly digest of world news and columns, as well as regularly reading The Huffington Post, Harvard Business Review and a number of other blogs) and you will frequently find something of interest to other people in your network. Clip or scan the piece, or copy and paste the link, and send it across using the magic words, 'I saw this and thought of you'.

It may just be a simple thing for you to do but you can often make a big impression.

Earlier this week I was driving to the train station and listening to the radio. Jeremy Vine was speaking to Ken Bruce about the press conference held by researchers at The University of Leicester to confirm the discovery of the remains of the last Plantagenet King, Richard III.

Jeremy Vine was criticising the organisers for holding back the main news at the press conference. He explained that they wanted to build up to the big announcement but were derailed when news came through halfway through that senior LibDem MP Chris Huhne had announced that he was pleading guilty in a court case and was resigning his seat in Parliament. Naturally, the interest of the assembled journalists and cameras was diverted and the moment had passed.

My good friend Alan Stevens is a well renowned Media Coach who advises companies on how to engage with the media in the best possible manner. Alan likes to share and comment on topical stories relevant to his expertise and this was a natural fit. I called him straight away and shared the story. Alan has also recently sent me the draft of his new book for an endorsement and I was able to give him some feedback on the book at the same time.

Just a few minutes later, Alan posted in The Professional Speaking Association Group on Facebook:



It was a natural call for me to make. It took me seconds of 'dead time' (as I was parking my car and then walking to the station) and yet it clearly had a powerful effect on Alan, further strengthening our relationship.

There is no excuse not to make such calls or send across such information to your network. When you read, when you see, when you hear, think about other people and not just yourself. If you do that, and make it a habit, opportunities such as this will keep on presenting themselves.

And when they do, share them. With the simple message, 'I saw this and thought of you'.

*You can read the blog Alan wrote as a result of my call here]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2402195 2013-01-03T09:17:08-05:00 2013-03-05T05:12:01-05:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
The two weeks over Christmas is traditionally a time to take stock, look back at the previous 12 months and think ahead, making resolutions of things we must change over the coming year, whether in our personal or in our professional lives.

Another tradition comes early in the New Year for many, and that is the failure to follow through on any of our long list of resolutions! So, instead of resolving to do many things differently, why not focus on just one or two things you can do better?

In networking there is one thing above anything else that most people can do better... follow up. Whether following up on new contacts, old friends or on promises made, you can make a huge impression and strengthen your network considerably simply by seeing things through.

I've often commented on how amazed I am about how poorly most people follow up on conversations and contacts with their network. Even people I trust implicitly and have the highest respect for can fall down in this area.

A few weeks before Christmas I promised a referral to someone very close to me. It was not the easiest referral for me to make as it required me to ask for the connection from someone who is not very open to helping, but it made a lot of sense for both parties I wanted to introduce.

I went ahead and asked for the connection and my contact reluctantly acceded, asking for some information they could pass on. I immediately emailed my friend and asked for a short email I could use to make the introduction...and duly heard nothing back.

Earlier this week I chased my friend up for the information. He had received my email but it had just sat there, waiting to be dealt with. Unaware that I had struggled to get the introduction, he hadn't prioritised the information.

Perhaps it wasn't an important enough connection for him; in which case he should not have requested the referral in the first place. More likely, other things got in the way and it got stuck in his 'to do' list.

It's easily done, particularly as he was unaware of the difficulty I had asking for the introduction. But his lack of action reflects poorly on him and also on me with my contact.

If someone offers you a referral in 2013, make sure you follow up. If it's not an introduction you want, communicate that clearly but politely. Even offer to pass it onto someone more appropriate. If it is, make both yourself and your champion look good by responding in good time.

If you meet someone new in 2013 and want to build a relationship with them, follow up and arrange to see them again. You can't rely just on that first meeting to establish a long-term bond.

And take a look at your contact book. Who didn't you see or speak to in 2012 with whom you should re-establish your relationship? Pick up the phone and arrange to meet.

New Year is traditionally a time for resolutions. Make it a happy one by following up.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2232206 2012-12-03T12:17:48-05:00 2013-02-02T05:12:01-05:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
Of course, the power of getting to know someone and winning their trust in order to achieve your objectives has a great amount of relevance in our day to day interactions. Networking is not just a business tool.





I recently finished a wonderful book, In My Father's Country by Saima Wahab. In the book the author, an Afghan born woman who emigrated to the US as a teenager and then went back to Afghanistan as a translator for the US forces, shares the story of a picnic during the early days of the US presence. There is a lot we can learn from the US Army's move from a transactional approach towards their Afghan hosts to seeking to build stronger relationships.

"The army's standard approach to interacting with regular Afghans is to devise a mission: Let's go to village A and see whether they need a school, and complete that mission in the shortest time possible, preferably the same day.....Most PRT missions are designed to be short, featuring a straightforward goal that can be measured at the end of the day.

"Once the event is over, everyone hops into their Humvees and races back inside the wire to work on the storyboard that inevitably concludes with "Mission accomplished!"

But this casual gathering was something else entirely. It didn't seem to have anything to do with anything measurable. Judy, the commander, the soldiers pulling her security, and some local agronomists were just sitting around talking, getting to know one another, becoming acquainted with one another's culture."

The phrase 'winning hearts and minds' was first coined by British General Sir Gerald Templar during the British campaign in Malaya in the 1950s, "The answer [to defeating the insurgents] ... rests in the hearts and minds of the Malayan people", before being adopted by US President Lyndon Johnson during the Vietnam War.

It's a phrase that many people will recognise today, and became core to the US counter-insurgency campaign (COIN) in Afghanistan. Rather than impose the will of the army on the locals, win their support by engaging with them.

Of course, a campaign based on relationship-building and winning hearts and minds has got to be authentic and come from a genuine interest in the other party, rather than a box-ticking exercise. But when such an approach is authentic, the rewards can be tangible.

"This may not sound like much. Today we have a greater understanding that building long-term relationships with the Afghan people is critical, but in 2005 it was very unusual. To most soldiers, Afghanistan was just a tour of duty. Their only goal was to get through it alive, so they could be promoted and move on.

"The missing link was a genuine relationship with the local population. If the villagers felt connected to us, they would be more likely to cooperate with our missions, warn us of any impending danger in the region, and avoid providing shelter and support for the insurgency."


When the US soldiers first arrived in Afghanistan they didn't see the need to build relationships with the locals. They had been invited into the country by the Government to help with reconstruction efforts. Why was there a need to win the support of the local population?

The challenge was that those reconstruction efforts were undermined by insurgents ensuring that the villagers wouldn't co-operate with the army or would help them to block the reconstruction efforts. Relationships were needed to give the villagers the confidence and, more importantly, the desire to find ways to help the US troops.

"This is not to say that villagers would be able to stand up to the insurgents directly just because they were supportive of the U.S. mission, but if they felt that the company commander was a friend, they might find a way to pass on crucial information that could potentially save the lives of his soldiers.

"Once established, these relationships could be passed on to the incoming units, because one of the characteristics of being in uniform is that you become interchangeable with the soldier who replaces you. If one company commander stresses the importance of good neighborly behavior to newly arrived troops and introduces them to local villagers, he creates a foundation that can be built on when the next unit arrives, and so on."

When we take a hunting mentality into our business interactions we fail to see the world from the perspective of the people we are meeting and talking to. People are less likely to want to co-operate with or support us in our objectives. We may occasionally gain something in the short term but long-term, more valuable returns are far from likely.

By winning the hearts and minds of our business contacts we can develop strong relationships that can lead to a host of rewards, from referrals and recommendations to finance, knowledge, support and much much more.

We just have to start taking the longer-term view and putting much more effort into getting to know the other party.

"The result is trust, and a long-term relationship, principles that are a big part of Pashtun culture. This picnic felt like the beginning of a new type of relationship between Afghans and Americans, and the beginning of the idea that led General Petraeus to encourage his soldiers to mingle more, to drink more cups of the world-famous Afghan green tea."]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2158982 2012-11-19T11:10:43-05:00 2013-01-19T05:12:01-05:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
Over the last thirteen years nothing has changed. Pursuing the relationship and not the sale has become something of a mantra for me. I featured it as one of my key tools in 'and Death Came Third' and have shared it with clients across the world ever since. If anything, it has become even more important over the last five years as business reputations have been destroyed and the global economy has seen continual upheaval and shifts in power.

I recently spoke at a conference for leading British boarding schools. The Conference Chair told me beforehand that she saw two major themes for the day, and the main one was the importance of relationships. This talk was sandwiched between two speeches I gave for a leading global financial services company and yet again the theme of relationships dominated discussion throughout both presentations.

So it will come as no surprise that a recent newsletter from a colleague of mine, Lee Jackson, resonated particularly strongly with me. In his newsletter, Lee recounted the opportunity he had earlier this year to meet the Dalai Lama and to ask him one question.

Lee asked the celebrated Tibetan spiritual leader, "What advice would you give to people living in the 21st Century today?"

The Dalai Lama replied, "The twentieth century became a century of bloodshed. That immense bloodshed failed to bring a better or happier world. If we use common sense, we must now find a different approach when we are facing problems; we should not be using violence.

"The only approach that there is left is dialogue...in order to create dialogue, you should first respect others' rights...then compromise or reconciliation dialogue can be meaningful...a long time ago, people just thought 'me, me, me, me, me'. Now we should think 'us'. The whole world should be part of 'us', a part of 'we'."

One of the biggest skills in relationship-building is the ability to take yourself out of the equation and see things from the other person's perspective. If you can recognise what motivates and resonates with the other party, it is always so much easier to find common ground.

Perhaps that is just as important a lesson in life as in business and is particularly relevant at the moment given renewed conflict in the Middle East where the two parties could not be further away from reconciling their differences or seeing the world through each other's eyes.

Whatever happens between nations, we can take control of our own relationships as individuals. When you meet new people, take the time to see things through their eyes and find how you can help each other, rather than just seeing them as a means to an end.

Think 'we' rather than 'me'.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2116126 2012-11-12T07:41:40-05:00 2013-01-12T05:12:01-05:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
I like a challenge and I certainly don't want to see anyone frustrated by developing a network but feeling that they were getting nothing back in return for the hard work and effort being put in. So I asked a few questions to try to understand her situation better.

It quickly became clear that she had certainly been doing a lot of the right things, such as keeping in touch with people, finding out what their issues are and making valuable connections for them. But she hadn't been asking for help in return.

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey talked about the concept of 'The Emotional Bank Account'. "If I make deposits into an Emotional Bank Account with you through courtesy, kindness, honesty, and keeping my commitments to you, I build up a reserve", said Covey. "Your trust towards me becomes higher, and I can call upon that trust many times if I need to."

Covey was focusing on interpersonal relationships in our day to day lives when he wrote about the concept of Emotional Bank Accounts. But many networking experts have referred to it in terms of the need to make deposits into a networking or business relationship before looking to withdraw...in other words, give before you ask for something from the relationship.

I think that this concept has a very clear relevance to networking, hence its common use. Perhaps we can look upon our relationships as Social Bank Accounts. Most often the focus is on the need to deposit before looking to withdraw. But there is another side to the equation.

In the case of the participant of my workshop, she has no problem depositing. In fact it was clear that she had probably built a big balance in her metaphorical social bank account with her network. The problem was that she never asked to withdraw anything.

We can't simply give and support and then expect people to do the same for us in return. If you continually pay into your bank account but never cash a cheque or go to the cashpoint, you'll simply make the bank wealthier. If you don't ask, you don't get and with a social bank account you need to ask when the time is right.

Towards the end of my session I was setting an exercise for the group. A key part of the exercise was to identify five people they most wanted to meet and then build a picture of their network to see where the mutual connections may lie. At this point, this particular member of the group sat there looking blank.

"I don't know who I want to meet", she told me.

And therein lay her problem. If she doesn't know who she most wants to meet, how can anyone else know? And if they don't know, how can they possibly help her? With all the will in the world, with all of the desire to reciprocate they probably have, they can't give anything to her.

It's not enough just to give and to expect to get something back in return. You have to first know what you want and then clearly communicate it to the people in your network if you want to enjoy the dividends from your networking.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1966895 2012-10-15T10:22:42-04:00 2012-12-15T05:12:01-05:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/


I first spotted this issue when running a LinkedIn workshop with a group from one of my clients. I talked about the 'Professional Headline', the field on LinkedIn that appears just below your name and describes what you do for a living.

The vast majority of people simply place their job title in this field, something that I believe is the wrong approach, even more so now that LinkedIn have redesigned profile pages and your current role appears immediately below this Professional Headline.

Most job titles don't communicate what you do for your clients; they simply tell people what your responsibilities within your own company are. Too often they communicate what we are going to do to or with people, not for them. Even if you have an internal role and your 'clients' are staff members at the same company, do the traditional job titles really communicate what relevance you have to them?

For example, how many people have the job title 'Sales Director', 'Business Development Manager' or something similar? What does that communicate to potential customers? Does it suggest that you have their interests at heart?

On the contrary, the role of 'Sales Director' is internally focused, with a responsibility for selling more. It does not suggest to the prospect that you have their interests at heart.

Similarly, from an internal perspective, how much warmth do you think a staff member has when seeing the job title 'Head of Human Resources'? Do we think of ourselves as 'Human Resources'? Probably not. Surely there is a better way of framing the role, one that appeals to and engages with the people brought into contact with the function.

What does your job title say about you and what does it communicate to the people you interact with, whether through LinkedIn and other social networks, or face to face? The standard job titles may be fine for internal communication (to a degree) or for describing your role if you are looking for a job, but can we describe ourselves to the wider world in a more engaging way?]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1942440 2012-10-05T10:25:08-04:00 2012-12-05T05:12:01-05:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/

If you find it hard to approach people or build genuine relationships at a traditional networking event, perhaps there is another way.

Over the last few weeks I have been fortunate enough to run three small events for some of my clients and close network. I've run the events in association with Aveqia, a Swedish business taking their first steps overseas with a launch in London. The feedback has been quite extraordinary, consistently the best feedback of any events I've run or experienced.

The feedback is based on a number of factors, much of it founded on the surrounds and experience provided by our host. One thing that really stood out though, and an important factor for me, was the ease with which conversations with strangers started and the strength of the bonds formed over the course of each evening.

So, how did we manage to achieve such success? The concept itself isn't new, something I'd call activity-based networking. It's an approach that's been used for years in corporate team building events but not as often as a tool to enhance the quality of networking events.

Instead of simply putting a group of strangers together in a room and leaving them free to exchange business cards, you create an environment where they work together and share. In the case of Aveqia, who's strapline is 'Connecting through Gastronomy', groups of twenty split into smaller teams, with each team creating one course of an amazing four-course meal under the guidance of chefs with Michelin Star experience, having worked with such luminaries as Heston Blumenthal at The Fat Duck in Bray, Alain Ducasse in Paris and Jean Christophe Novelli.

The group then joins together to enjoy the meal they created, accompanied by a perfectly matched wine selected for each course.

As I write this blog I've just had a call from one of the attendees earlier this week. As a National Sponsorship Chairman for the Federation of Small Businesses and the owner of his own business raising sponsorship for disability sports, Norman Lay of SIMS has been to more than his fair share of corporate and networking events.

Norman called me to update me on two of the conversations he's had in the last three days. In one case he's had extensive conversations that look to be leading to a potential management deal; in another he's arranged a meeting with the decision maker at a company who could be a very large sponsor.

Norman said to me, "I've never networked in a better atmosphere. Within fifteen minutes everyone was laughing and joking with each other and we were running between all of the groups, not just sticking to our own."

I don't often run my own networking events but, when I do, there is one main rule. Never engage in the 'Networking Dance' of elevator pitch exchanges. Don't ask 'what do you do?' but find out what you have in common. Build rapport and identify people you can build a relationship with over the long term.

At these recent events I haven't needed to stress this advice (even though I might have mentioned it!). The activity takes over and people simply start working together straight away. And once the meal was over, people stayed around. On the first two occasions I caught my last train home at midnight with four minutes and then with 45 seconds to spare respectively. This week I took a taxi!

There are two things we can take from this experience. First of all, if you are hosting networking events or bringing clients together, what can you do to increase the chances of people bonding quickly?

Rather than just bringing everyone into a room and offering them free food and drink, can you do something slightly different to get them working together?

Secondly, whenever you go to a networking event, remember the golden rule. Don't get sucked into The Networking Dance, find what you have in common and have fun with people. Look to create the bond that will mean you'll want to stay in touch with them after the event...and they with you.

Networking events are merely a catalyst to building your network and developing relationships. Venues such as Aveqia are invaluable in accelerating that process and creating connections that really work.



]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1892728 2012-09-18T06:25:06-04:00 2012-11-18T05:12:02-05:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/ Parenting for Professionals and asked for my top tips for working parents who want to build a strong network despite limited time and opportunity. The key goal, I advised them, was that they need to 'Stay in sight, in mind'

Here is the outcome of our conversation, written by Parenting for Professionals' Helen Letchfield:

One of the biggest challenges faced by working parents is how to boost visibility and confidence, and how to rebuild and strengthen relationships. This is particularly important for those who have been out of the office for an extended period of time on maternity or additional paternity leave. However, with restricted hours at work because of childcare and family commitments, is it possible to find time to network?

Parenting for Professionals interviewed Andy Lopata, and he gave us his top 6 tips on networking for working parents.

Tip 1: Treat every meeting as a new opportunity

People often forget that internal meetings are actually opportunities for networking too. It is all too easy to get into your comfort zone of choosing to sit next to a colleague you know well; so why not try sitting next to new people or those you don't know as well and have a chat. Find out what they are working on and how they are getting on. This will not only give you valuable business knowledge, it will also help you deepen your relationship with them. Networking isn't just about getting new contacts.

Tip 2: Socialise at lunch

A very common scenario, especially for part-time parents, is to have lunch at your desk and continue working. This may work for you 1 or 2 days a week if you are rushing to meet deadlines. However, for the other lunchtimes, go to the canteen/communal area/café with someone you would like to get to know better. Make it a social event and don't hide behind your Blackberry! It will enhance your general wellbeing too.

Tip 3: Use your intranet

For those lunchtimes when you are at your desk, take time out to read your company news, blogs, comments and events. This will help you keep abreast of what's going on but it may also introduce you to new and helpful contacts in other teams. Post an 'intelligent' question on the message board or share your opinion. This works particularly well if you are not a naturally confident, outgoing person but still wish to contribute and 'get heard'.

Tip 4: Build relationships with other teams

Need someone in IT to do a quick turnaround for you? Need a sounding board in HR? If you have taken the time to get to know people from these teams, you will find it a whole lot easier to get things done. Where practical, see if you can shadow someone in another team - for a day or for an hour - to really understand what their issues and constraints are. There's nothing like actually doing someone's job to find out how to best interact with them.

Tip 5: Use industry conferences

If budgets are tight, look up the free ones or just go to the trade stands. Make it at least a once a year commitment to attend an event which will help boost your knowledge of the current trends in the marketplace, and also help you meet people doing the same job as you in different companies. If you do meet new people, get their cards and drop them an email the next day.

Tip 6: Social networking

When you do get some down time, think about staying connected through Linked In or Facebook. You might use your commute to do a bit of social networking, but all it takes is a quick 10 second comment or question to friends or colleagues to let them know you are still there. If you have had a particularly busy day with your head down at work in the detail or if you have had a day from home, this is a great opportunity to 'reconnect' with the world.

Finally, Andy recognises that as working parents, you have to work even harder to raise your profile and proactively manage the office politics. It may be a juggling exercise to get the right balance between how much time you are seen at your desk and how much time you devote to getting out there and meeting people. This is also very dependent on your company's culture as to what extent it is a 'be seen to be there culture'. Networking doesn't have to be daunting; take time out every week to strengthen your relationships with the right people, to give your visibility and career prospects a quick boost.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1856884 2012-09-06T05:05:29-04:00 2012-11-05T05:12:01-05:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
After the session my client was approached by a close colleague who simply said, "You don't believe in this company, do you?" At that point, his mind was set on a change.

Many speakers and authors will talk about the importance of passion in business, myself included, but sometimes that can be a hard concept to grasp when the business is not yours. If you're in a sales role in someone else's business, how can you be passionate about their services, when you may well be offering something else next week?

That belief can make a huge difference to whether people buy from you or recommend you though, as the responses during my workshop indicated.

On the same day as my meeting with my client, in New York the team from the global community Sandbox were holding a 'superpower' brainstorming session. The session was facilitated by Mathias Vestergaard, who asked the group to share a time when they met someone who was very passionate. What happened and what did they look like?

Niamh Hughes from Sandbox shared the results of their discussions on Facebook, and it was very interested to see their perceptions of passion represented in the following diagram:




When you talk about your business and the products or services you are selling, how passionate are you? Does your face light up when talking about work? Are you smiling? Are you full of energy? Is your voice full of purpose?

If not then others may not feel that you believe in what you are doing and what you are saying. And if you don't believe, then why should anyone else?

Think of the most passionate people you know in business. What do they do to stand out from the crowd? And what can you learn from them?]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1722421 2012-07-31T04:47:51-04:00 2012-09-29T05:12:39-04:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
Early on, over the lemon chicken, my friend told the tale of a trip to Boston, USA in her early twenties. She is in investment banking and had a meeting with a French banker who was her senior in both years and position. She had already presented to a number of other people but approached this meeting with trepidation as the banker clearly wasn't interested in spending too much time, or effort, with her.

Just before my friend launched into the same presentation she had shared with everyone else, she responded to her gut instinct and changed tack. Intead of talking through her products she asked the Frenchman if he had watched the football the previous evening.

Fortunately for her he had, and he was a fan. The World Cup was in full swing and France were doing well, in the days before they automatically self-destructed on reaching the finals of a major tournament.

They spent the next thirty minutes talking about football before the French banker, aware of the time, asked my friend to swiftly share her presentation with him. But he was already sold on her by that point.

As the evening moved on, and we had enjoyed the steamed fish, honey spare ribs and pak choi, we had started talking about education systems around the world. In particular, my friend was sharing with us her experiences of volunteering in a remedial school while on maternity leave.

One child was particularly difficult to engage with and wouldn't pay attention to anything for long, or listen to the teachers in the school. For some reason my friend started talking about cricket and the Pakistan batsman Shahid Afridi, who was doing particularly well at the time.

This problem child suddenly hung on my friend's every word, particularly as she kept him updated with all of the scores from the Test Match Afridi was playing in. She became his favourite teacher and he would apply himself to all of her lessons.

Whatever age, people are the same the world over. If we can engage on common ground first, and win them over, it is so much easier to engage in a wide range of topics. The temptation is often great to talk work with people we meet in a professional situation but, resist it and find out what passions and experiences you share.

In one of my workshops in Vietnam last week, one of the delegates shared a phrase that he had heard that truly resonated with me:

"Reach out with the heart before you ask with the hand."

Find that common ground, engage with people's hearts and you can talk business for as long as you like afterwards]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1606086 2012-06-18T12:28:03-04:00 2012-08-18T05:12:12-04:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
It is easy to get frustrated when we turn to others for help yet find that they are slow in coming forward with the connections or advice that we need. If we work hard, are good at our job and are always nice to people then surely we deserve the help of those around us when we need it?

I often run an exercise in my referrals strategy workshops where I ask people to think of someone they have referred recently, and why they did so, in order to understand what would motivate other people to refer them. I always add the thought, "If you can't think of anyone you have referred recently, perhaps that is where you should start."

All too often we turn to our network to seek out how they can help us before asking ourselves what we have done, or what we can do, to help them. This becomes particularly clear when we have a sudden need for help from our network, such as redundancy or the launch of a new product.

At other times, when we don't need other people's help, it's natural to forget about maintaining the relationships we have around us. Life gets in the way, we get busy and we forget to stay in touch with others.

Ivan Misner, the founder of the referral network BNI, coined the phrase that underpins the organisation's whole philosophy, 'Givers Gain®'. The concept of Givers Gain is very straightforward, the more you are willing to give to your network, the more your network will give to you. Those who give the most are in the best position to benefit from referrals coming back to them. It's a simple concept and a very important one; you have to seek to help others before seeking to help yourself.

Those busy periods, when you don't need the help of your network, are the ideal time to pick up the phone to other people around you and ask about them. What are their challenges? What introductions or support do they need? How can you help them? The more you can interact with your network focusing on them and not you, the better placed you will be when you need some support yourself.

Last month I spoke at the Fitness Entrepreneurs Bootcamp in Birmingham. The speaker before me, Dax Moy, is one of the world's leading personal fitness trainers. He also happens to be an enthusiastic etymologist, having a keen interest in the original meaning of everyday words.

In his presentation, Dax talked about the roots of the word 'Deserve'. He explained how 'Deserve' comes from the Latin verb 'deservire', meaning 'to serve well and enthusiastically'. Exploring further I found out that the meaning morphed in later Latin to 'to earn or be entitled to by serving well'.

Perhaps too many of us have fallen into the trap of believing that we deserve other people's support and connections, without ever asking ourselves what we have done to earn that help. Do you really 'deserve' the referrals, the introductions and the support that you need?]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1539493 2012-05-23T11:47:38-04:00 2012-07-23T05:12:05-04:00

Andy Lopata http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-lopata/
So I guess I should be congratulating all readers of Huffington Post who support Chelsea and Manchester City on their respective successes in the Premier League and Champions League.

And I do congratulate those genuine fans who have seen their clubs achieve something that they have been striving for for some time.

I must admit that the words do stick in my throat though. I do think it's sad that the spoils increasingly go to the teams with the heaviest financial backing, rather than those who have won simply through great management, team spirit and the right blend of players.

Perhaps I'm an idealist (in fact, I know I am) but it's ironic that two teams that have been transformed under the ownership of the super rich have triumphed in these major competitions in an Olympic year.

The 'Olympic Creed' says "The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well."

I fear that we have lost sight of that creed and that ideal. Look across sports and increasingly money talks. More and more professional athletes compete in the Olympics, and there is plenty of criticism at the role money plays in the organising of the games, and the influence it buys.

And it's not just in sport. We have seen increasing anger in the UK and worldwide against people who are perceived to have put their own financial interests above everyone, and everything, else.

In an Olympic year, wouldn't it be great to go back to that original spirit? In our sports, in our businesses, in our careers and in our relationships with others?

It would be a lovely idea but, as everyone keeps telling me when I complain about the money in football, perhaps times really have changed and we all have to simply accept it and move on.

But I hope that's not the case.]]>