2013-05-24T14:24:57-04:00 Brandon Wade http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/index.php?author=brandon-wade Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Brandon Wade Good old fashioned elbow grease. tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3104074 2013-04-17T17:55:52-04:00 2013-05-13T08:25:55-04:00

Brandon Wade http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-wade/ SeekingArrangement.com are "princess" and "queen". Disney movies get a bad rap from feminists and realists alike. Not surprising, since there are only a handful of true heroines who can hold their own without support from their Prince Charming. Maybe it's the kid in me, but I don't think we should disregard what we can take away from Disney Princess movies as superficial lessons with underlying adult content.

Although I cannot be 100% sure on whether Walt Disney intended it or not, relationship advice can be taken from each of the princesses.



1. Jasmine: Consider the Start Up
Maybe he isn't the wealthiest suitor in your court. Perhaps he isn't even that suave either. But watch out these late bloomers could be the "diamond in the rough" worth bagging early on. If he shows potential, then give him a chance. Be mindful of complacency; if he is 30 years old and content working a dead-end job, then he probably isn't worth your time.

2. Aurora: Don't Play Hard to Get
Although Prince Charming's first move wasn't exactly a perfect landing, (I prefer a less creepy approach than approaching a woman in the forest)it is endearing that he continued to pursue Princess Aurora even after with the cat and mouse game she put on. However, the blame cannot be placed on women alone. Numerous how-to articles and books say that men naturally value what they have to work to achieve, therefore encouraging playing hard to get. But I believe this bit of advice should be applied to intimacy more than dating itself. Show your interest and date the object of your desire, then build anticipation for the first special night together.

3. Cinderella: Don't Pretend to Be Someone You Aren't
We can sit here speculate that no one could have predicted what would have become of Cinderella had she not met the Fairy Godmother. But one thing is true, regardless of the fantastical powers, by midnight Cinderella was still who she was when she danced with the prince. And the fact that her charm won him over should be a message to women out there: You don't have to pretend to be a wealthy, high class dame to scout yourself a good catch.

4. Mulan: But Don't Let Who You are Limit Your Expectations Either
Perhaps you didn't graduate from an Ivy League school, or you grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, or maybe your parents weren't Vanderbilts or Carnegies. Who you are shouldn't determine what you expect in your mate. Growing up without a governess or chauffeurs doesn't mean you aren't entitled to being with a man who opens the door or pulls the chair out at dinner for you.

5. Belle: Get to Know What Makes Him Tick
Prince Adam, or "Beast" as he is so lovingly remembered as, had quite the temper while under the witch's spell. Any bystander would dismiss it as a bad attitude, but Belle had the patience to get to know him better and find where all that anger came from. Now, I am not condoning sticking around if a man becomes verbally abusive. For reference sake, we'll compare his tantrums to a man who sounds off whenever he speaks to his mother on the phone. Knowing what makes him tick can help both of you find healthy ways of dealing with the stress.

6. Ariel: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Some men will argue that Ariel losing her voice during the courtship was the best thing that could have happened to the whole story. Men's main complaint is that women often don't say what they mean and expect men to pick up on cues. Both sexes meet in the middle when it comes to body language. It is very difficult for any man or woman to hide their true feelings when it comes to how they act. Furthermore, men can often view long drawn out conversation as nagging. Try shortening conversations and communicating your feelings more through your body language.

7. Pocahontas: Sometimes Breaking Up is the Easy
"John Smith and Pocahontas had a very mad affair." Even if the Disney's version portrayed a strong relationship, in the end Pocahontas and John had to be realistic and put an end to their affair. The greatest lesson that we can take from this is that break-ups don't need to be these ugly ordeals ala Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston in The Break-Up. Two grown-ups should be able to assess whether or not a partnership is worth pursuing or logistically possible.

Men if women put for the effort, then you too should spoil her like a princess in return. The rewards will be worth it. The most recent princess can also teach women a thing or two. Princess Tiana is a hard working gal with a dream. However, she is so hell-bent on achieving her goals that she forgets to enjoy the things around her--let alone trust anyone. But in the end, with the help of a few unfortunate events, a crocodile, and the frog prince, she learns what we all should do in our relationships: lighten up and enjoy the ride.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2323915 2012-12-19T18:30:45-05:00 2013-02-18T05:12:01-05:00

Brandon Wade http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-wade/
Successful men have a mental attitude much like that of a salesman. Whether it's a new project, stocks, a new tech product out in the market, and yes, even a second date. After a successful meeting, these men never assume the other person is interested. Rather, they use mental tricks to guarantee a second meeting with that person.

The first trick is to "be confident, not cocky". And though numerous "how to" books have tried to hammer this into our brains, many men and women still get it wrong. I remember a time when I was still working at Microsoft: regardless of how "confident" I acted, the women I dated wouldn't respond to my request for a second date. Being confident doesn't stop short of one's demeanor. Rather, it should carry out into what they say. For example, if a woman inquires on what you do for a living, go into detail on your success and current projects. If you are a website developer, talk about how the work you do impacts the company's success. The fortunate thing is that confidence is something you can practice. If a woman sees that a suitor has a clear handle of his life: career, family, sense of self, and place in the universe, and then she will view him as a possible mate.

During the first date, a man has the rare opportunity of discovering where a woman's priorities are. Just like men, ninety percent of the time, women love to show off what they are most proud of. That brings me to the second trick, "adding value to her life". In my book, What's Your Price?, this is called the "Peacock Dance". The "Peacock Dance" is where the suitor shows what is unique about them and that they can provide an experience the other person can't get anywhere else. Successful men have fine-tuned this trick by picking at what a woman values then showing how they can add to it. If a woman loves fishing, then the successful man will talk about the trips he takes every other weekend on his brother's boat. This leads me to the third tip: Plan the Second Date during the First Date.

Towards the end of the evening, a man should know two things about a woman: if there is chemistry and what her favorite hobby is. The trick is to secure the second date before the conclusion of a date. This final trick puts together three tips: first, confidence is needed to face the possibility of rejection, then the "Peacock Dance" becomes more than just a show. Using the knowledge gained from the first date's conversation, a man can design the second date to appeal to a woman's greatest interests. If she loves golf, invite her to a golf tournament. Pull some strings and surprise her, at the beginning of the second date, with a chance to meet the players. The tournament's excitement will help boost her high spirits and nine times out of ten, she will be the one inviting you for a third date.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2170988 2012-11-21T19:00:00-05:00 2013-01-21T05:12:01-05:00

Brandon Wade http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-wade/
Okay, while Petraeus has top-flight military credentials, it's true he's not exactly been blessed in the looks department.

His gawky smile, tousled hair and sticky out ears lend him an unmistakable resemblance to the bug-eyed Mad magazine mascot. Petraeus might have had security clearance to die for, but Jason Bourne he ain't.

But why should that stop him dating a woman years younger, and undoubtedly many times more sexually attractive?

Leaving aside the awkward fact the general - and his amore - were married, surely it shouldn't?
The truth is that power and money are the greatest sexual stimulants ever invented, many times more effective than oysters and champagne, and as physically empowering as Viagra.

If you could bottle them... well suffice to say you'd never be short of a date on Friday night.
To paraphrase The Beatles, it might not buy you love - but money can certainly improve your enjoyment between the sheets.

So it came as no surprise to me to read via CNN that 70% of millionaires surveyed by a marketing firm said they enjoyed better and more adventurous sex than before they got rich.

More frequent sex, more sexual partners and higher quality lovemaking were common among responses and, frankly (though I've added this myself), looks be damned.

Men, and women, have been playing power games over sex and power since the first caveman learnt to make fire and offered his cavegirl a slightly more palatable woolly mammoth steak.

Fast-forward several thousand years and power, influence and wealth are still making a difference. Money and power can provide financial and emotional stability. Take away the uncertainties of life and of course it's going to feel better and promote risk-taking, especially where sexual partners are concerned.

There will always be those, like perhaps General Petraeus, who take those adventures too far, thought many grown-ups will condemn the general only for getting caught.

Delivering champagne to the hotel room of George Best, a porter found the legendary footballer entertaining a scantily clad Miss World on a bed covered with his casio winnings.

'So George, where did it all go wrong?' enquired the awe-struck hotel employee. One might well wonder aloud the same of General Petraeus amid his recent travails.

Earlier this year I launched a website - www.MissTravel.com - which I'm proud to say is the world' first travel dating site.

'Generous' travellers - men or women looking for company - are matched with attractive - once again men, or women - companions. Instead of meeting in their local pizzeria, they might meet at a pizza parlour in Rome. Or go bowling, in New York. Or catch a movie, in Paris.

My other dating site www.seekingarrangement.com pairs so-called sugar daddies with sugar babies.

Three years ago researchers at Newcastle University working with statistics from a Chinese Health and Family Life Survey revealed that as the man's income rose, so did the frequency of his partner's orgasms.

Like our caveman whose invention of fire gives him an evolutionary lead over his competitors in finding the best partner, money and power give modern man similar advantages. That might be a flight of fancy on my part. But we know humans are already attracted to strength, IQ, hair and eye colour, so why not earning power also? If a man, or woman, can make money and be a better provider, why should they not also be a more suitable sexual or life partner? Another key study of 16,000 Americans showed the more sex you have, the happier you are.

So why shouldn't those that can afford it treat those that cannot? In Hollywood movies, I believe it's called 'friends with benefits'.

I prefer to see it an honest approach to dating that takes into account the shallow truth about both men and women - men, initially at least, judge by looks and women by wallets.

So men can be generous and women can be pampered. It's not for everyone and it's been called controversial.

But as I see it, I'm simply helping men and women meet in mutually beneficial circumstances. And it all comes from my own experiences.

I was a nerd when I was at university. In baggy trousers and Harry Potter-style glasses dating was a nightmare. I was socially inept and very lonely for much of my teenage years.

My mother told me to focus on my goal. To study hard so I would succeed in later life and have financial means, then dating would be easier.

Like so much of my mum's advice, it worked. Maybe it worked for General Petraeus too?]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2049249 2012-10-31T14:31:47-04:00 2012-12-31T05:12:01-05:00

Brandon Wade http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-wade/
Success noun \sək-ˈses\: the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.

The women of our generation have become far more independent than their predecessors. The female workforce has greatly evolved, achieving places of power and success. Looking out onto Main Street, one can behold twenty-first century Rosie the Riveters exiting town cars into granite and glassbuildings in Jimmy Choos and Christian Louboutins.

When exploring the developments of modern-day woman, you have to look into her counterpart: man. In ancient times, and by ancient I mean prior to the 1980s, men's idea of a perfect woman was one-dimensional. Men sought out women who had the biological qualifications such as wide hips and full breasts for bearing children, as well as women who would generally make good "housewives." It is easy to say the needs of successful men haven't changed and dismiss the matter, but that is not true. The last recession had a sobering effect on American families: A singular breadwinner is a thing of the best. Men realized the need for two support beams in a family and soon the notion turned into an ideal, then a standard.

My website, SeekingArrangement.com, is the largest website where generous men can meet attractive women. Currently, the website has over 1.7 million members worldwide. The website is home to many successful men (the average annual income of men on the website is $250,000 with the highest 10% averaging a network of 10 million each), all of whom actively seek companions, dates or soul mates. We surveyed three thousand of these men to find out exactly what a successful man notices first in a woman.

Almost all of these qualities were the same as what they notice in job seekers. Though successful men are not usually so public about their emotions, a bad breakup is seen as a scarlet letter to their circle of friends or colleagues. With that in mind, SeekingArrangement.com identified five of the most important qualities successful men notice first when considering dating a woman and assessing the possibility of a future with her.

The fifth most important quality successful men noticed in women was their hair. Most disapproved of women who had unkempt locks and/or sported an unnatural color or style. A man of stature is under constant scrutiny, but also keep in mind that he is likely an alpha male in his own right; running into colleagues or business partners at lunch would prove awkward and deeply embarrassing if he is seen with a moving Hot Topic ad. Keeping hair to a natural hue and focusing on how healthy it looks ups your chances greatly. After all, hair growth and quality is highly dependent on hormones and nutrition -- an alpha male wants to show that he picked the best out of the dating pool.

A sense of self was the fourth on the list. A common deal breaker with employers during an interview is a candidates pretending or exaggerating their understanding of a certain subject. Our survey found that this was also a big pet peeve among successful men looking to date, particularly in cases where women lied about the extent of their knowledge when it came to current events, politics and culture.

The way a woman carries herself when she walks, or her gait, was third on the list. 26% of those surveyed said that a proper balance of speed and posture exuded grace, which caught their attention regardless of what task they had at hand. Gait defines public presence.

Posture was the second most important quality. It shows manners and confidence, two key qualities successful men sought in wives. 78% claimed that beautiful women who slouched greatly decreased their overall beauty.

The number one most important quality or indicator that successful men noticed in a woman was the quality of verbal and written communication. Although most used text or email messaging, 53% of the men surveyed preferred verbal communication. Misspellings or inappropriate abbreviations were considered deal breakers. The ability to hold a conversation is vital when dealing with men of high power and wealth, as most meetings and deals are still handled face to face.]]>