2013-05-20T04:06:22-04:00 Frisky and Mannish http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/index.php?author=frisky-and-mannish Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Frisky and Mannish Good old fashioned elbow grease. tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1470707 2012-05-04T19:00:00-04:00 2012-07-04T05:12:04-04:00

Frisky and Mannish http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frisky-and-mannish/ is The Voice better than Britain's Got Talent?

In the battles of the judges, the two shows squared up with one a-piece - while Jessie is doubtless the hottest female judge, Sivid's bromance was unrivalled by The Voice's male coaching contingent.

As things hot up in both competitions, it's time to look at the serious shiz. Glamorous judges aside, it's the real people who make these shows. The nameless, sometimes faceless creatures who make up the substance of these talent extravaganzas. Yes, that's right, the crew.

Both shows this year have featured many 'supporting artists' not only helping the acts get where they need to be, touching up their make up, or accompanying their rehearsals, but also occasionally helping with plot exposition (like that security guard in Wayne's World).

Let's start with BGT - more than ever we see the acts in conversation with gaudily attired Crew, positively rattling with radios, headphones, and tool-belts, and with very carefully dishevelled hair.

It's so lucky that whenever they speak someone is there to pick it up on microphones! There's the usual, "okay, we're ready for you..." or the wonderfully personal yelling of a contestant number, but now we also get some 'informal chat" too. Like mini Piers Morgans, they interrogate the vulnerable participants, "So, are 'ou nervous? Have you come far? Do you fancy each other?" Stephen Mulhern is shitting himself.

These young, be-hoodied waifs occupy a world we like to call 'backstage'. The inverted commas here denote the gloriously artfully arranged 'backstage' seemingly created by Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen - choice flight cases, beautifully lit, branding on everything that stays still long enough, things with little flashy lights that appear to operate nothing, but do backlight Dec's hair exquisitely. It is a whimsical world, that doesn't resemble the faintly piss-smelling reality of most UK theatres.

The Voice is perhaps even more guilty of perpetuating this utterly imaginary 'backstage' world. At least in BGT they travel around, so probably actually use those enormous branded cases. The contestants of The Voice hover in a similar technical utopia, except we all know it's just a telly studio in Elstree.

Good to see that they money they saved on the judges' outfits they spent well on meaningless electrical paraphernalia. We don't get to know the crew quite as well at the BBC - they remain mute as they jab at young women with make-up brushes. What's most confusing about these creatures is they don't actually seem to display any real skill.

We certainly wouldn't trust them with a tail-comb that close to our eyes. But definitely not lacking in skill are the incredible musicians. From rehearsal room to live show, these guys play like ROCK GODS - trilling, riffing, arpeggiating, and funking the hell out of whatever they're got their hands on. Not that they told their faces. They don't look unhappy, per se, but it's a very British kind of apathetic. "Oh, it's raining again. Well, better just ride this beat like Seabiscuit." But undoubtedly there's a dignity to these musos, which acts as a very necessary counterbalance to Will.I.Am as a thing.

However, our absolute favourite extra is BGT's petite blonde lady who's job it is to pelt onto stage as fast as she can, and whisk away the mic that the contestants waffle into before doing their acrobatic/streetdance/magic/breaking-wind act. We imagine she spends most of the day playing Draw Something, until her ear-piece explodes with "GO GO GO GO GO", at which command she runs like Phoebe from Friends (probably screaming) to the middle of the stage, praying that the cameraman is pointing at Alesha or someone, while she grabs the stand (always crouching) and scuttles back to the mythical 'backstage' world, like an unseen technical elf. Except, the camera often does capture this wonderful moment, and no matter how small she may try to make herself, it's still really funny to see a woman run as fast as she can over a very short distance, while everyone else pretends they haven't seen her. Heart-warming stuff.

We thereby proclaim the winner of this round to be Britain's Got Talent - and we hope someone buys that girl a drink.

Soon we're into the live rounds of both shows, and we cannot wait to see the very finest of British talent, vocal and otherwise, square off once and for all. (We know Sam Buttery's already out. Like we said, looking forward to the finest talent... what?)]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1433902 2012-04-18T19:00:00-04:00 2012-06-18T05:12:02-04:00

Frisky and Mannish http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frisky-and-mannish/ THE VOICE BETTER THAN BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT?

Last time we established that, despite the best efforts of an over-buffed Alesha Dixon, and a barely conscious Amanda Holden, J-J-J-Jessie J's s-s-s-stellar turns on The Voice had edged it into the lead. Clearly the viewers agreed, as BGT got an utter trouncing in the ratings wars. However, assuming the rest of the world is like us, and watched the latter on Sky+ so as to fast-forward through the adverts, things may in fact be a lot closer than they appear.

So, all is to play for as we continue to examine THE BATTLE OF THE JUDGES, this time focusing on the homoerotic inter-judge flirting.

A great deal of attention has been given to the continuous "negging" between Simon Cowell and his newest funjudge, David Walliams. From their matching smiles, and constant looks over to check each others' reactions, to taking every opportunity to go to each other's chairs and waggle their bits in each others' faces, they are displaying textbook signals of sexual interest.

All just silliness for the cameras, obvs. OR IS IT? Could this be the most delicious double-bluff in history? While we're all chuckling away at Walliams' outrageously suggestive shenanigans, two men may, in fact, be enjoying the sweetest love affair of their lives. Did you see the standing ovation Simon gave David for his turn with the Showbears? EXACTLY. And, if wild, utterly unsubstantiated rumour is to be believed, somewhere many miles away, Paul McKenna cries himself to sleep. Either way, it is utterly engrossing, and we're loving every camp second of it.

Clearly, The Voice wasn't going to take this lying down (as it were). Danny Whatshisface and Will.I.Am began their own pigtail-pulling over who turned around first. It's just like Si and Dave: the leaning over to see what the other is doing is there, the cheeky smiles, the teasing - it's all going on, with the added bonus of a slightly disappointing ride as they finally push each other's buttons (just like the rest of us).

But while most of the nation would rather see a Dan.I.am over a Sivid (doesn't work if you're not Brangelina, does it?), The Voice's manlove never truly blossoms. When their backs are to the act, it's their own little world, their secret "behind the bike sheds" spot (let's pretend there isn't an ancient Welsh crooner and a young Mystic Meg between them). Once they've turned around, that moment is lost, and it's back to "I wrote for this person" and "I respect you as an artist." YAWN. This show persists in being about the people actually singing, and as thereby LOSES this battle.

So that's a square one-all between The Voice and BGT so far. But can this continue? As The Voice hits into 'Battle Weekend' (hopefully with actual artillery), things look set to heat up significantly. BGT better be ready to bring it...]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1403288 2012-04-06T19:00:00-04:00 2012-06-06T05:12:01-04:00

Frisky and Mannish http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frisky-and-mannish/ The Voice vs Britain's Got Talent - WHICH IS BETTER?

Well, let's look at the facts:

87% of people admit to having a 'voice', but only 12% to having 'talent'. 55% of us identify ourselves as 'British', but almost no one refers to themselves with the definite article (except The Stig). So is a program claiming to find Britain's talent, actually statistically capable of doing so? Is The Voice a mathematical impossibility?

No one knows.

So where 'facts' fail us, let us look to a far more decisive branch of logic: what Frisky & Mannish (i.e. us) think.

Firstly, BGT. Now, this may be an established talent institution, but we think we're right in saying that, since SuBo, no one cares. So, what do you do when no one cares? You turn to the experts in unloved programming - the BBC. And what do the BBC do when haemorrhaging viewers? They call in Alesha Dixon. So that's just what Simon Cowell did. Welwyn Garden City's answer to Kelly Rowland has been snapping and shimmying her way through the audition stages in granny-startling frocks to marvellous effect. In the context of BGT she even manages to look like the serious pro, which, when you think of her on Strictly, tells you more about BGT than Alesha.

The Voice saw their Alesha Dixon, and raised them a J-J-J-J-J-Jessie J. Visually, we can only describe her as 'a feast'. The shirt looks not unlike a project from Art Attack, and she can actually check her lipstick in her hair, it's so shiny. Not only is she pin-sharp as a judge (sorry, coach), but her mastery of the 'girl wit' attitude' gurn (see Cher Lloyd for further reading) makes her a priceless addition to our televisions.

We like to pause on the best gurns and use tracing paper to capture them for Frisky's gran who can't work Sky+. She loves a good face. Clearly the contestants agree with us, as pretty much everyone picks her as a mentor, even though she's been singing for about five minutes and is sitting next to TOM JONES. Never underestimate the power of a gurn.

So, when it comes to female authority figure, The Voice is the clear winner. Okay, so BGT also has Amanda Holden, but given in most of the episodes she's either so pregnant she can barely function, or literally straight from death's door, we wouldn't expect her contribution to be sparkling. We're impressed she could even be bothered to get a face on. So she is exempted, which, given previous form, may well be lucky for her.

Next time we'll be looking at the homoerotic flirting between judges - is it the well-publicised Simon Cowell and David Walliams? Or is Will.I.Am's cheeky banter with Danny Whatshisface going to sneak up the rear (OOOH PARDON!)? Check back soon to find out...
]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.1131150 2011-12-06T19:00:00-05:00 2012-02-05T05:12:01-05:00

Frisky and Mannish http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frisky-and-mannish/ The Times] We have been educating audiences on pop mechanics and semantics since our first show, School of Pop, at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2009.

As such, we are fully qualified to analyse the inner-workings and cultural repercussions of that Saturday night pop music behemoth, the eighth series of the X Factor. Video-blogging (or VidBlogs) seemed the natural extension to our popular #xfactor tweetalongs, especially since there are many occasions for which 120 characters aren't enough. (We refer you to Wagner, Chico, and Goldie's scarf.)

Since we started our VidBlog series in October, we have been hosted by the online branch of the esteemed publication, heat. This must surely be due to our rigorous analytical style and thought-provoking debates, with titles such as "What precise semantic change has been wrought by the colloquial vernacular of 2 Shoes?" We ask the important questions.

This series of the X Factor has been remarkable for many reasons, a few of which we list below:
- Blatant discrimination towards cabaret and pantomime (Johnny, Sami)
- Blatant favouritism towards bland competence (Marcus)
- Bullying claims both backstage (Misha) and online (Little Mix)
- Boybands that are interchangeable (Nu Risk Vibe Rusk Risk)
- The press surrounding Frankie Cocozza (this decade's Deirdre Rachid)
- Dermot's dancing

The contestants have been an odd mixture of yawns, weirdos and people we've come to love. Craig, Sophie and Marcus lamentably fell into the first category, despite all being perfectly nice people about whom we'd not wish to be rude. Kitty undeniably owned the second category, purely based on comments made before or after her performances - all of which were rather quotidian and not as "controversial" as she'd have liked us to believe. The third category kept us going through the weeks. Our "precious one," Johnny, we loved in all guises, from geisha to grande dame. Little Mix - we will not enter into this ludicrous Muffins business - have emerged as serious contenders for the throne departed by Girls Aloud. (The Saturdays can just give up, it's over.) And Amelia's "journey" alone has given the series some sense of the fall and rise of a great tragic character in the mould of Lear. Bravissima.

The judges, three of whom are on the panel for the first time, have each contributed the most memorably ludicrous moments of the series. Returning granddad Louis Walsh had surpassed the realm of self-parody by week four, embracing his joke-butt status and offering endless adaptations of "You're only however-old-you-are, and you remind me of a young whatever-it-is-you-look-vaguely-like." Tulisa has been studying for a BTEC in Reality Television Judging, and kept referring to the course modules, talking about rehearsals/brands/trends/PAs/backstage events. (Smoke and mirrors, Tulisa, come on.) Kelly Rowland pulled a massive sicky and did a fake coughing voice, which is obviously something we've all done, but not usually live to an audience of millions. And Gary Barlow wears lip balm and has microdermabrasion facials. Finally, Alexandra Burke.com. Let us never forget the lessons learned on that bleak eve.

All of our previous VidBlogs are still available for perusal on our official YouTube channel (LadyFitzFrisky), and we will be cracking open the bubbly wine and Pringles for next week's finale. We hope you will digest our wisdom, and improve yourselves in the process.



You can also see Frisky and Mannish live in London tonight at Shepherds Bush Empire, doors open at 7pm]]>