2013-05-19T16:23:30-04:00 James Wharton http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/index.php?author=james-wharton Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for James Wharton Good old fashioned elbow grease. tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2285198 2012-12-12T10:32:26-05:00 2013-02-11T05:12:01-05:00

James Wharton http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-wharton/
In an attempt to ring home the bells of true equality, the Tory plans have instead created a subsection community, offering different levels of freedom depending on what part of society one fits.


The Author at his Civil Partnership in March 2010.

By being born into the Church of England and then duly christened a member before I can even remember, I'm now automatically excluded from the Equal Marriage plans leaving me in exactly the same place I was before the announcement.

I don't ever remember having the choice to becoming a member of the Church of England. Whilst serving in Iraq I remember looking down at my 'Dog Tags' and seeing the letters 'CoE' inscribed just below my blood group and thinking, how the hell did this happen? I guess it was just a natural thing, just part of who I am... a lot like my sexuality.

Of course, I could take a civil marriage in a non-religious setting, and one has to consider whether one wants to celebrate such an important occasion in an environment that on the whole has been generally hostile towards the gay community, but to simply be expelled from the plans before they've been properly introduced is unfair and outrageous.

The term 'equality' means, believe it or not... EQUAL!

People in every part of society should be offered the same opportunities. Everyone should be treated FAIRLY and with RESPECT. The Government should't be setting different bars in equality. One rule for some, one rule for others.

I'm baffled that the Catholic Church in England and Wales will now at least have the opportunity to celebrate same sex marriage, which is incredible and I hope the powers that run such organisation embrace the offer.

The Church of England, by kicking off enough of a fuss over the plans mostly through its C4M campaign, have placed enough pressure on the government for them to buckle under the stress and will now remain in the dark ages as far as modern equality is concerned.

Frankly, the Church of England has continued to push itself into its corner of discrimination. Woman bishops. Gay marriage. What next? Disabled people?

And after the results of the 2011 census have revealed that Christianity in the UK is now less popular than it was 10 years ago, I'm left thinking... How relevant is the Church of England today?
By basing values on an ancient text that's over two thousand years old, the organisation is digging it's heels into the mud and refusing to move with the times.

What do we really expect from a bunch of people who believe the earth was created in 7 days?

James Wharton's first book, Out in the Army: My Life as a Gay Soldier, is released in June 2013 by Biteback Publishing.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2155419 2012-11-19T19:00:00-05:00 2013-01-19T05:12:01-05:00

James Wharton http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-wharton/
I'm lucky to have had a good insight into the work some schools in this country are doing surrounding homophobia and LGB inclusion.

During my school tour with Stonewall I've seen first hand the incredible effort teaching staff and a handful of extraordinary youngsters are putting into making life better for others, especially within the secular school community.


(The author with youngsters at a school in North London)

I've witnessed youngsters establishing a School Equality Council in Edinburgh and teenagers lobbying the local authority in Wiltshire over the none existence of an LGB Youth Group for gay and lesbian youngsters to access. The incredible thing about these two examples is that they are student led. The young adults who've highlighted a problem have also provided part of the solution. It's incredible actions like this that puts authorities and government officials who should be providing support like this to shame.

But, while the focus of this week's National Anti-Bullying Week will be aimed at children and teenagers, we mustn't overlook and forget the vast number of adults, some of whom are public officials, who equally need to take heed of this important annual event.

Last week, while addressing an education conference in Essex, I told the audience that people who found themselves on a platform to speak should think very carefully about the words which are coming from their mouths.

Opposition to the likes of equal marriage and gay adoption is something I can live with. I understand that people have different views and that not everyone can agree on a single set of principles; But some people, particularly our Cardinal friend in Scotland go a whole lot further than just opposing these important factors in modern equality but overtly go on the offensive over them too, not considering the affects their messages are having on our youth.

It's confusing how a Cardinal cannot feel any guilt over brandishing gay people 'abhorrent' in the national press and not see the link between his words and the suicides of vulnerable gay teens.

Simply, a misguided teenager on the school playground feels his actions are authorised and okay when he see's senior public officials saying the same thing on the news. He'll continue to call the boy who doesn't play football or fancy girls 'disgusting' and 'unnatural'.

To back my point up, On Sunday morning I was lucky enough to be supporting London Titans F.C. - an LGB friendly football club based in South West London, play an important league match in Barnes, just next to the river Thames.

Their opposition, Wandsworth Wanderers, just couldn't accept that there was a gay team in the league and bombarded the players of the Titans with homophobic abuse for the full 90 minutes. One of the Wandsworth Wanderers players even spat at a Titan in utter ignorant disgust. The Titans got a very loud cheer when they went on to win the match 3-2. This only added to the idiots anger who then continued to threaten physical violence at both players and supporters, two of which being my poor little dog and me.

I was very saddened by what I saw and considered just how much these 'adults' would learn from spending a day with me in one of the secondary schools I've visited as part of my school tour with Stonewall.

It's crucial that the youngsters in our schools properly mark this year's Anti-Bullying Week and I know in almost every school around the land, they will... But there's more than a handful of grown ups who would benefit far more than any youngster I've met, learning a thing or two about respecting others and modern equality.

Until these individuals, particularly sportsman and the leaders of the various faiths in the UK get a grip and actually LEAD BY EXAMPLE, how can we expect the typical 14-year-old boy in a secondary modern to do the same?

Simply, WE CAN'T!]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1673083 2012-07-14T07:06:00-04:00 2012-09-13T05:12:07-04:00

James Wharton http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-wharton/ London Titans FC, a gay friendly football team based in South West London for the annual London Gay Pride parade, which was host to this year's World Pride.



Without getting myself lost in the politics of said occasion which I think has been highlighted enough by others; I realised that joining a sports organisation was fully relevant in today's murky climate of modern equality.

Last year I was asked to sign the Homophobia in Sport Charter at 10 Downing Street which I of course did, in the company of many of my personal sporting heroes. I have also watched with interest how the F.A. have handled and responded to racism and homophobia in British football over the past 12 months and drawn myself to the conclusion that equality in sport is lacking, failing it's athletes as well as it's audience.

It has to be said that this year, Chelsea FC sent the Titans a personal letter of support for World Pride which was gratefully accepted by the players and the coaching staff. It's also important to note that this year at Liverpool Pride, Liverpool FC will march proudly as a team showing their support to gay rights in their home city. They will be the first British football team to do so; an incredible move.

I usually join the LGBT contingent of the British Army at Gay Pride, however this year I felt it was more important to join a group of people who are trying to make a difference in the sporting field, something by signing the Charter, I am also committed to.

Whilst walking the parade route with the footballers of London Titans FC, I was pleased to see so many other organisations coming together in the name of equality. I saw Stonewall walking with youngsters who had travelled to London from around the country that morning to have their presence and their voices heard. I saw LGBT supporters from across the three main political parties, all keen to show their support to gay rights; and I also saw gay men and women from across the public services including my own- the Army, who have come incredibly far in a short time with regard to gay equality.

Some people argue that Pride marches are irrelevant and not necessary in todays world, which I think is utter rubbish. In 2012, we still have no sportsmen in any British football league who feels able to say the words I'm gay. We have youngsters in our our schools who are bullied and harassed on a daily basis on the presumption of being gay, some as we know are driven to suicide; and in some countries being gay is still punishable by death.

When we come together as a community like we did last Saturday at World Pride, we come together to campaign and acknowledge these very truths. We come together to say we understand how far we've come in recent years but we also need the world to understand we've got so far still to go.



Equal Marriage. Teen suicides. Homophobia in sport. Homophobia in schools. These things can only change when we as a gay community, with our powerful straight friends alongside, march and campaign for our own right to be accepted.

Organisations like London Titans FC are paving the way for sporting teams to be diverse and accepting. To have the chance to spend a few hours with them at World Pride was a huge honour for me... and I thank them deeply for it. I'm looking forward to working further with them.

London Titans FC are hosting a fund raising event in aid of the Food Chain at the Two Brewers in Clapham, next Sunday 22nd July from 5pm.
See you all there!

Originally posted on James-Wharton.com]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1549190 2012-05-28T19:00:00-04:00 2012-07-28T05:12:10-04:00

James Wharton http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-wharton/ The Crescent, an organisation which provides support to people living with, or affected by HIV/AIDS, to become a Patron of their charity, and to become involved in the fundraising that goes with providing such services. I naturally jumped at the opportunity, having been moved witnessing the incredible help and support they provide it's service users.

Over the past 12 months, I have become fully aware of how difficult a situation organisations like The Crescent are finding themselves in, with local authorities pulling back the finance they make available to such services, with terrifying knock on affects that are far spread. But it needn't be that way...

HIV/AIDS support services in Hertfordshire have undergone a radical change in the last 12 months. For almost 25 years these services were provided by two agencies, one in the east and the other, The Crescent, in the west. The reason for this, in the main, was because of the geography of the county, coupled with the fact that transport links from east to west are very poor.

For many years this worked well, with The Crescent covering the west (where the majority of PLWHIV reside) working closely with the two major GUM clinics in St Albans and Watford General Hospital.

The Crescent is ideally situated in St Albans with excellent transport links to surrounding towns by road, and rail, and under 20 mins by train to central London. The other agency is situated in Ware, just outside Hertford, a small rural country town with considerably poorer access opportunities.

Funding for these services came from NHS Hertfordshire and Hertfordshire County Council in a joint commissioning arrangement lead by the County Council. Funding for the social care element came from the AIDS Support Grant (ASG) provided to each local authority for this purpose.

This grant was ring fenced, meaning that the local authority could only spend this money on HIV related support services. However this ring fencing was removed in late 2010 and as a result left the money vulnerable to reallocation for other purposes, unrelated to the original intention.

The grant was rolled into a larger grant or settlement, provided to each local authority, but the amount of the grant was still identified to indicate that it was provided for this purpose, and so local authorities should continue to spend it accordingly.

In late 2011 the National Aids Trust published a report highlighting the concerns of many, that local authorities were already siphoning off this money, or intending to do so, and that services were being cut as a result.

At the very time Lord Fowler, who was chairing a House of Lords Select Committee on HIV and Aids made a report from which he indicated a real need to increase investment in such services.

In late 2010 Hertfordshire County Council (HCC) decided to review services in the county. They initially suggested that a 25% saving would need to be made by both services and even though this could potentially cause problems, plans were put in place to accommodate this without impacting on front line services.

However in January 2011, HCC decided to cut all funding for The Crescent. They then awarded a contract to the other agency, Herts Aid, to provide a countywide service. This came as a shock, and somewhat of a surprise to The Crescent, given that the idea only a month before was to make savings. It was also a surprise that the agency chosen was the one located in the least accessible part, and in an area with the least PLWHIV in the county.

This decision was taken without any consultation to those affected. Even the council's own impact assessment, which is supposed to include the views of stakeholders and interested parties, took place over a weekend in the first week of January, appearing to be just a box ticking exercise.

The end result was a service that could never work, and has failed miserably. Services in the east are still as they were before the change, however in the west there has been very little of consequence offered for PLWHIV at all.

The Crescent is a member led organisation, where those living with HIV are employed as staff, and also are elected to the board of trustees, and are therefore by definition, representative of those most affected.

In early 2011 a survey of The Crescent's members asking if they wanted to transfer to the other provider brought a resounding no. Instead they insisted on fighting the decision, and so embarked on a campaign to do so.

It had been suggested that this was all merely a case of economics, and that savings had to be made, but it's simply not true. HCC received £508,000 this current year from central government specifically for HIV support, and next year this will increase too; yet they are spending a fraction of this.

The Crescent appreciates that savings need to be made; but do they need to be this extensive? Surely, from the £508,000, there is enough money available to fund both services in Hertfordshire, as was the case prior to 2011?

The Crescent has repeatedly drawn attention to the plight of PLWHIV in Hertfordshire and has gained fantastic levels of support from some of the most influential people in the land. However it seems that Hertfordshire County Council are not paying any attention.

Lord Norman Fowler, former Secretary of State for Health, and architect of the original 1980s Don't Die of Ignorance public awareness campaign said in a statement released to support our Healthy Futures fundraising appeal:

"I fully support the work by the Crescent in St Albans for people living with HIV, their partners, families and friends. Over the last nine months I have been chairman of a Select Committee of the House of Lords on HIV in the United Kingdom. This is a crucial health issue and organisations like The Crescent totally deserve our support."

The Crescent is still supporting more than 300 people with no funding at all and has seen a five fold increase in people seeking HIV testing compared with the same period last year. They continue to receive new referrals from various health and social care agencies, plus people seeking help, advice, training and support on a daily basis.

They are continuing their campaign to educate and inform people about HIV and fighting stigma. As part of this, they have members featuring in the Stand Tall Get Snapped campaign, which is an exhibition in London's Soho to mark the 30th anniversary of the death of Terrence Higgins and the official recognition of HIV as an epidemic. It aims to show that HIV is not just a white gay male issue and that it can affect anyone, of any age, gender or sexual orientation.

Hertfordshire County Council can, quite easily, avoid causing unnecessary stress and hardship to those living with HIV in Hertfordshire by reinstating some funding to The Crescent now.

The Crescent hopes that now a new Chief Executive, Mr Wood, has been appointed at the County Council, a more balanced view will be taken on the support needs of PLWHIV in Hertfordshire. They are calling on him to see sense, and meet with them and discus the situation further, something his predecessor, Caroline Tapster, refused to do, sending others in her place.

Not forgetting that those most affected cannot, as a result of the stigma that so unfairly blights the lives of those affected by HIV, come forward and be seen. They, on the whole, cannot write in to a newspaper, or to the County Council to complain for fear of disclosure. They are the hidden victims of this unnecessary meddling and penny pinching, being carried out by those who are unaware of how difficult it is for them to speak out.

It's shameful that this should continue, particularly when there is no logical reason to allow it to do so. There is ample funding for these services and it's clear that a county wide service will not work.

Hertfordshire County Council, show that you have more interest in this crucial health issue as the likes of Lord Fowler and so many others have done. Don't leave people in Hertfordshire suffering from HIV/AIDS alone, without support.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1460121 2012-04-27T19:00:00-04:00 2012-06-27T05:12:02-04:00

James Wharton http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-wharton/
A year ago on Sunday, I was excitedly sat on my horse - Doncaster, clad immaculately in state regalia, escorting Her Majesty and the Duke of Edinburgh from Westminster Abbey, along the royal procession route up to Buckingham Palace.

The whole experience will live with me forever, naturally, and the hundreds of hours of preparation, which in the end paid off, is very much still fresh in my mind, as if it were only yesterday.

The saga started four weeks before with rehearsals in Hyde Park, which was of huge delight to tourists passing by. I guess there's something magic about witnessing us on our horses preparing for a big parade. The tourists - American mostly, would sit and watch for hours. A little frustrating when someone falls off.



As the day drew near, our rehearsals took a more real turn, and we began practising in full uniform, along the actual procession route, in the darkness of night. Riding along Whitehall at four in the morning is an incredible experience, there is something very majestic about the great landmarks of our capital appearing through the breaking morning light.

The media village, which was assembled opposite Buckingham Palace was always a hive of activity, and when we rehearsed in the very early mornings, they would be awake and practising their coverage too. I remember clear, being sat on the forecourt of Buckingham Palace, looking directly across to the media village and seeing a very wide eyed Piers Morgan rehearsing his part- which would be broadcasting the event live to his american audience.

For the Royal Wedding, I had a very notable role to play in the procession: I was to be the rear guard of the Household Cavalry (amusing for some), changing to the Advance Guard for the ride back to our Knightsbridge barracks once the Royal party had been delivered to the Palace. Of all the times I've taken part in state processions, this was the most exciting and important role I'd ever been given. I was immensely proud of my special job, my mother found it more pleasing still... making sure everyone in our Welsh village knew and understood fully my role on the big day. It was also really useful for pointing out where I would be on the TV.

Two days before, a full dress rehearsal at 0600 brought home to all of us that this momentous event was just around the corner. That morning we were in the stables at 3 o' clock, waking up the horses, grooming, getting dressed, the inspection - the dreaded inspection, and then the admin move from Hyde Park Barracks to Westminster Abbey through Victoria. We were all in place when two people, acting as the newlyweds, though not as glamorous, appeared at the West door and climbed into the waiting carriage.

Whilst all this was happening, hundreds of supporters from across the globe, already in place opposite the Abbey enjoyed watching a behind the scenes full rehearsal, 48 hours prior to the real thing. I spoke to one excited American lady who was only too delighted to have been awoken by the hundreds of horses clip clopping past her tent. She had travelled alone, thousands of miles to see the event, and her eagerness had paid off, as she'd secured the best spot to see the Prince and his new wife appear at the West door. She told me in our brief conversation that she was last here in '97 for the funeral. A devoted Royalist from across the pond; and I'm sure she will remember the morning she woke to find outside her tent, a young Household Cavalryman, as excited as she was probably, sat on a huge black horse, happy to have a quick chat.

After the rehearsal, there was no time to relax...it was full systems go for the big day. Horses bathed, boot polish melted off and then re-applied for six or so hours, tunics dry cleaned and helmets scrubbed. My white breeches needed hot washing and then re-painting and then the final touches of polishing my Iraq medal and hanging my red plume. There didn't seem to be enough time in the world - but there never does whilst preparing for a state escort, however, everyone involved got on with their jobs because it was simply the most amazing occasion ever. Something to tell the grand children. I'd never felt like that before an escort, and I know the other boys hadn't either.

Finally the day arrived. The day the world had been waiting for, officially since the announcement in the early winter, but actually, all of Prince William's life.

My day started early, as always, with stables at six. The horses were well up for it... they knew something massive was about to happen, as we did, and the barracks soon became busy with many media types, all trying to cover every aspect of the big day. There was BBC film crews, Forces news teams, journalists and other special guest, who all wanted to see this sacred pre- parade ritual that goes on away from public view, every time the Queen opens parliament, or the head of a foreign state makes an official visit.

The inspection was to begin at half past nine, at which point we all had to be in position on the regimental square for the Commanding Officer to come around and check the standards of every single man and horse. A soldier or a horse that is nothing short of immaculate, will not make it out of the regimental gates and is punished severely; however, that was not to be the case on this grandest of days. Everyone was beyond immaculate.

About halfway through his inspection, a noise that I've never heard before rocked the capital. What on earth was it? Was it a bomb? Was it the sound of a building crashing to the ground?

The noise started off as a deep hum, then slowly raised into a great rupture of volume and literally made the ground shake. Horses were spooked by this phantom sound, alarmed, as was I by what I could hear but not see.

This was the moment the Duchess appeared at the entrance to her hotel in that amazing dress. It was the sound of the whole world applauding the incredible sight of a future Queen, it was the moment the world gave out one huge gasp of breath and then cheered.

After the noise died down, and order was regained on the square, the Colonel gave us a few words to get us all fully focused. He remind us of just who exactly we were: We were the Sovereign's own escort. Nobody else's. We were the Household Cavalry, and in our 350th year, we were about to show the world we meant business.

The regiment set off, and I followed at the very rear. Looking down the parade, all the way to the front, where behind the Advance Guard, rode the Colonel and the Trumpeter, hundreds and hundreds of adoring fans cheered us as we went by.

Down Constitution Hill and past the front of the Palace, we slowly made our way through the streets of Victoria and halted about 200 metres up the road from the Abbey. There we were held for about 30 minutes until at last, the happy couple appeared at the door!

They waved a little and soon mounted their carriage, heading off to the palace accompanied by a division of Blues and Royals. Shortly after the Queen appeared at the West door, and got into her state coach. We were off. A slow trot at first, but as expected, we opened up on the Mall, and practically skidded to a halt on the gravel outside Buckingham Palace. The crowd was going mental.

As I was making my way up the Mall at the very back of the escort, unbelievably, in all that volume, a school friend of mine and her family, who had camped out on the Mall for days, screamed my name and waved excitedly at me as I flew past. I'm a little ashamed to admit that I took my mind off the job momentarily and gave a little wave and a nod back. That was my highlight. Seeing a face from my past, at the most amazing moment of my career. And I know my school friend was delighted I'd heard her shouts and acknowledged back. Incredible.

Once we delivered the Royal Party to the Palace, there was no time to hang around... soon the couple would appear to thousands of loyal well wishers from the balcony above for that kiss and we needed to be well out of the way by then.

Immediately, I took over as the Advance Guard, and led my regiment out of the gates of Buckingham Palace, and up Constitution Hill, en route to our Knightsbridge base. At Wellington Arch, on Hyde Park Corner, I turned my head and looked back at the sight. I knew what I was about to see would be the lasting image on my mind from that entire day, and what I saw brought tears to my eyes: Every single horse in our great regiment; the Colonel, his Trumpeter and then four full divisions of mounted guards, all carrying swords, following me, and my faithful Doncaster, who had behaved impeccably throughout.



We arrived back at the barracks, entering through the Ceremonial gate and saw our families patiently waiting for us, all wearing smiles of pride. My mother, my husband and our closest friends, had come into camp to share the experience with me, and they'd had a fabulous time watching from our Mess back at camp.

We formed up, the Colonel said a few congratulating worlds, and the order was given to dismount. My last duty of the day was to give the nod that signified to everybody dismount. I did it sharply, and the sound of 250 jackboots hitting the concert after being in the saddle for three hours cracked out across the barracks. We led our horses up the stables and fed them off. They had been the real heroes of the day. They carried us all brilliantly and on the whole, (mostly) behaved perfectly.

I haven't ridden, or taken part in any ceremonial occasion since that amazing day... and I know now that I never will again.

A very happy first anniversary to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1386307 2012-03-28T16:49:14-04:00 2012-05-28T05:12:02-04:00

James Wharton http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-wharton/

For the second year running, in two months time the people of Britain will be celebrating a gift from the Royal Family. A gift that will, at least for one long weekend in June, take our minds off the misery of the economic downturn, the pain of possible fuel strikes and of course, the ridiculous rise in the cost of a first class stamp. On that first weekend in June, the nation will be encouraged to come together and rejoice 60 years of the reign of our monarch; Queen Elizabeth II. And with a host of events up and down the country, we all have the opportunity to fully enjoy this remarkable milestone.

Already we have witnessed senior Royals visiting many realms across the globe. Realms that are lucky enough to have HM as head of state, and we've also seen the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh touring the United Kingdom -allowing many millions of her well wishes the chance to express their support directly. The Queen herself has demonstrated that she is thoroughly enjoying getting out there and allowing us all access to her in this very special year, even dropping by at one lucky couple's wedding last week, to wish them the very best personally.

10 years ago, during the Golden Jubilee celebrations, I had my first opportunity to express the gratitude I hold for such an incredible person, whilst the Queen was visiting North Wales as part of the nationwide celebrations to mark her half century on the thrown.

At 15, I was a drummer boy in my local Army Cadet Battalion, already excited about my impending military career, which was just around the corner, that I found myself marching along to the National Anthem. It was also the first time my mother had seen the Queen in the flesh, who was standing in the crowd proudly watching the event.

Back then, it was the proudest moment of my life; little did I know that over the next decade, I'd see her hundreds of times on state occasions, whilst carrying out my duties as a mounted guard in the Blues and Royals, the culmination of which was last years Royal Wedding, from which I escorted the Queen. My mother was also stood proudly in the crowd for that moment, too.


A lot of us, myself included, feel something very personal; something very close to the Queen, and the forthcoming diamond jubilee, will be just the occasion most of us have been waiting for to express how very much we love her. I for one, will be hosting a jubilee dinner for my friends, and I've already been invited to two street parties in London, alone.

But I'm using the episode as the perfect opportunity to sort something out that is most important to me. I'm bringing my Nan to the capital, from the family home of Liverpool, to fully enjoy the experience firsthand. And I have a very good reason to do so, too...

My Nan has not always overly enjoyed the fact that I'm married to another man, and regrettably, she was missing from my wedding day in 2010; but on the weekend of the Diamond Jubilee, for the first time EVER, my nan will be coming to stay with her Grandson, and her Grandson-in-law. Something I am delighted about. And she isn't just coming along to ignore my husband, Thomas... two weeks ago, my Nan Facetimed Thom to tell him personally that she was looking forward to seeing him in June. Believe me, in our household, it was quite a sight seeing an 85 year old chatting away via iPad.

In our family, my nan is treated like the Queen. She is the figurehead. We all listen to her advice, and act upon it. If my Nan wants something, one of her children or grandchildren and now even one of her many great-grandchildren, will do it without hesitation. My Nan is also the most loyal supporter of the Queen, probably in the world; and is the source of all the Royalist passion in my veins. Last year, when I didn't invite my Nan to stay with me whilst I was working on the Royal Wedding, she was most upset, and patiently waited until christmas to tell me how very disappointed she was. I decided then that she was the priority occupant in my spare room for the Diamond Jubilee weekend.

We're taking her to the River Pageant on the Thames on saturday afternoon; Thom has already researched where exactly the best place to stand is, and then we're going on to the Royal Albert Hall for the Jubilee Ball and singalong in the evening. It's going to be an incredible weekend, and I know it will bring many things: Laughs, celebrations, good food and probably lots of fine wine. But I'm hoping more than anything, that it brings love, connection, lasting memories and most of all, fulfilment.

I want my Nan to be leaving Putney, already asking when she can next come and stay... to which the answer will naturally be... whenever she wishes!

Often, and I know I'm guilty of it, we allow members of an older generation to pass by without even challenging their, sometimes, outdated views. It's easier to just leave them be.
But actually, my Nan has proved to me, that people of her generation can change their views on a subject, on a person, and even on sexuality.
My Nan might not be supportive of some modern things, but her youngest grandson being married to another man... she finally is. And I'm very proud of her.

You could say that the jubilee is important for many reasons. It's important to celebrate this momentous reign, which hopefully will go on for another sixty years. It's important to use it as the perfect opportunity to take our minds off work, although I guess I'll be thinking of all those wonderful occasions I have escorted the Queen on duty. It's also a chance to have a few bottles of wine with friends, raising a glass to the occasion... of course, taking the following day off to fully recover.

But for me, more than anything... it's THE perfect opportunity to bring a family together and make right some things that were perhaps, for a little while, wrong.

I'm deeply thankful to the Queen for many things... but this is the icing on the cake for me. A huge Diamond Jubilee cake!]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1371257 2012-03-22T19:00:00-04:00 2012-05-22T05:12:01-04:00

James Wharton http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-wharton/
Without going all out and exclaiming he is gay, he asked his mum to understand the situation, and invited advice in return.

My friend, who I know and love well, told him not to worry about these feelings, that it is completely normal, and whatever becomes apparent in the future, he will be deeply loved and celebrated either way.

I don't think i could have handled the situation better myself. She showed her son that his happiness is paramount, and that her love to him will be unchanged whether he discovers he is gay or not.

It's a response that many of us could have only dreamed of, and he is very fortunate indeed... but I worry for him, still.

The protection his mother provides, the remainder of his family and even friends like me, is merely limited to a slight extent in this 21st century world we find ourselves living in. He isn't able to let his guard down yet; and the problem I fear, has a danger to escalate more so now than at any other point in recent times.

Imagine...you're 15. You're in a fragile state. Puberty brings many problems; problems that perhaps many of us have grown to forget. You go to school and you get teased for 'looking' gay; for 'sounding' gay. You run home after school to escape. In the safety of your own home, you switch on the TV and see people describing gay relationships as 'grotesque' or 'vile.' There seems to be no escape.

Can you imagine how this must feel?

Worse yet, imagine being the vile thug who bullies the same person for 'looking' or 'sounding' gay. You taunt him all day in the classroom. You make his life a misery. Then you go home, switch on the TV and see figureheads of the faith communities and politicians making the same homophobic statements that you've been handing out on the playground. It justifies your actions. Almost makes it okay. You feel good about it.

The two boys meet the following morning and the bullying continues.

You see, there is a great danger here. And this danger is something the opposition to equal marriage, mostly the church, has overlooked - the affect on gay people, but in particular, the affect on young gay people. The people who are most vulnerable.

I remember feeling isolated whilst I was going through my mid teenage years, and I know I'm not alone. I remember having these huge feelings that were completely impossible to ignore;
Fully out of my own control. I wish I'd had access to support, either through the internet or somewhere else. A gay friend perhaps? I wish there was a youth group for me to belong, who I could discuss my feelings and problems with safely. I wish I'd had the courage that my friend's son had last week, when he decided to let his feelings be known to his mother.

Yet I'm lucky that I didn't have to come out whilst a very public and very hurtful debate about gay relationships was being fought on a daily basis in the media, with people whom I might have once trusted, or looked up to brandishing me grotesque.

In a none judgemental way, I was asked earlier this week whether or not I thought the debate on equal marriage actually meant anything to us (as a community). The gentleman's personal approach to the subject was that whilst this debate was on going, we might be taking our focus off other important issues, one of which being homophobia in schools. I couldn't have disagreed more.

In my opinion, homophobia in schools goes hand in hand with the debate surrounding equal marriage.

Homophobia stems from ignorance; from a belief that gay people are less important than straight people.

Stating publicly that being in love and wanting to validate that love through marriage is okay for straight people, but not okay for gay people, is exactly the same as stating that gay people are less important than straight people. It is, in my opinion, the same as saying to my dear friend's son, "it's not okay for you to be gay", but also saying at the same time to a homophobic thug in a classroom, "well done, keep bullying gay people. It's wrong. Your actions are correct."

I challenge anybody to show me where it says in the Bible that it's okay to bully somebody. To single out somebody and make them feel less important than than the rest of society. To make their life a complete misery.

I was always taught that religion, Christianity in particular, is all about loving thy neighbour. About treating people with respect and that love and charity far out weigh hate and discrimination. Seemingly the complete opposite to the displays of faith, currently on offer in this country,

Before long, there will be victims out of this, and those victims will be our most vulnerable...Our youth.

And the church will once again, have blood on its hands. ]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1319590 2012-03-05T19:00:00-05:00 2012-05-05T05:12:01-04:00

James Wharton http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-wharton/ National Student Pride last weekend in Brighton.

Now in its seventh year- student pride returned to the city for the fourth time, bringing together students from across the country and in some cases, from far flung learning institutions across oceans and seas.

All these people came together to debate, discuss, network and most of all celebrate student life within the LGBT community; and I was delighted to be right in the middle of such an event.

I found myself on the Question Time debate, hosted by Attitude's Matt Todd and with fellow panelists including Dan G Sells of The Feeling, BBC News presenter Jane Hill, Actress Sophie Ward, England Cricketer Steven Davies, Ex-NBA Basketball player John Amaechi and the legendary human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell.

Throughout the debate, I was struck by how incredibly politically motivated the audience was, bearing in mind that most were in their late teens or early twenties. These young adults had all grouped together in Brighton to celebrate and branch out - which the club night in Revenge would later ensure, but before all of that, there was important business to deal with.

The day continued into the night, and the students who had come together far and wide, let their hair down and celebrated fully in venues across the city.



Whilst enjoying the day event, I was asked by an elderly gentleman "what's all the fuss about?" to which I naturally presented an answer.

The look on the man's face suggested bewilderment, and I knew he was either about to throw out some horrendous homophobia, or continue to quiz me over the celebrations... "But why do they need to wave it in everybody's face?" I could tell that the gentleman was speaking in rhetoric, and immediately moved on before I could counter his comments anyway... but it lead me to think, 'why' indeed?

I'd love to say that this is the first time I've been on the receiving end of such a question, but it's sadly not. It appears, there are quite a few people in our country who don't quite understand the meaning of Pride and why the events are so important.

With Pride events soon to be getting fully under way around the UK; North Wales Mardi Gras in April, and a host of events including Birmingham pride, Blackpool pride and Oxford pride in June before the huge main event of World Pride in the capital on the 7 July; it's extremely important we fully understand exactly why these events are held nationally and the history that has passed before them.

We have all been on the receiving end of discrimination at some point in our lives, none more so than the public homophobic messages being handed out by Lord Carey, and just this weekend by the Head of the Catholic Church in Scotland- Cardinal O' Brien. This pathetic pair, along with a handful of politicians and other church figures have backed the Coalition for Marriage petition calling for a stop to the introduction of equal marriage in the UK.

We still live in a world in which a professional footballer will tweet homophobic messages to thousands of followers and not think of the consequences; will also still live in a world where people are being hung because they are gay. There's clearly a fight still to be won, and events such as National Student Pride underline this very fact.

Of course, the answer to these problems aren't going to be solved simply by marching around places like Brighton and London making lots of noise; but along with political pressure and professional campaigning by groups such as Stonewall and the online petition of C4EM, we will come through this victorious.

Pride is not about "Waving it in people faces", but is about remembering the great things we as a community have achieved over the past 50 years. It's about meeting new people, forging relationships and coming together. It's about celebrating the gay community and our contribution to the United Kingdom.

But most importantly, it's about continuing the fight for equality!

The more noise that outdated generation of Daily Mail readers make about us as a group of people, the more noise we need to continue making in response to their blatant, overt and offensive homophobia.

That's the point!]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1290991 2012-02-21T19:00:00-05:00 2012-04-22T05:12:01-04:00

James Wharton http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-wharton/
When I had my civil partnership in 2010, it was simply the happiest day of my life. My husband and I sealed our relationship, forever, in the company of the people we loved the most, with words we had chosen especially for that occasion. Dressed in full state uniform, usually reserved for the Royal Family, I married my man proudly and with true meaning.

But would I have chosen a religious ceremony, if I'd have had the choice?
You bet I would!

Why should a man and a women have the exclusive right, and indeed honour, of exchanging their lifelong promise to each other in the presence of God? What makes me different? I say my prayers. I join in at 'heterosexual' weddings by wishing newlyweds the very best, even saying a prayer for them. I even swore an oath to God that I'd protect Queen and Country as a young 16-year-old boy facing military service. Why shouldn't I be afforded the same respect from a faith that I have served so well?

The answer is... I should be. And I'm very confident that people like me - a gay person who chooses to get married, soon will be allowed to do so. Just because a few people who have appointed themselves spokespeople of the divine have to drag us through a quite hurtful protest about 'their' rights along the way. What about our rights?



Lets think back to 2004 when the Civil Partnership Act was being introduced. Those same bigots who exclaim our 'lifestyle choices' infringe their human rights, kicked up exactly the same fuss as we see the Coalition For Marriage (C4M) doing today. Even an (Ex) Archbishop has thrown himself wholeheartedly into the argument, leading C4M's calls for legal intervention. I wonder if they have asked for 'Divine Intervention' yet? I bet you they've tried.

Unsurprisingly, the Daily Mail has all but publicly announced its support of the group, describing it as 'a new grassroots organisation', and even permitted (Ex) Archbishop, Lord Carey, to blog about it on their own Mail blogging site, RightMinds.

So what is the problem? What will it actually mean to Lord Carey if this act goes through?

Can anybody offer a fair and just answer to this question? Is this going to affect straight people who are getting married? Well according to the C4M homepage, it just might, and one or two other things also... "If marriage is redefined, those who believe in traditional marriage will be sidelined. People's careers could be harmed, couples seeking to adopt or foster could be excluded, and schools would inevitably have to teach the new definition to children. If marriage is redefined once, what is to stop it being redefined to allow polygamy?"

So, as it states... if gay marriage is passed, straight people are going to be out of work. Nothing like a threat to jobs in a time of increasing job losses. Some very straight forward individuals, the sort that read the Daily Mail perhaps, will read that and actually believe it. And C4M know this... that's why they have put it in there! And what about the image they have chosen to use as their campaign logo? A white man, a white woman, and their two children -one boy and one girl, of course.

I'm very grateful to have a number of gay friends who have either gone fully through the adoption process and now provide a very safe home and environment to a child that was once not so fortunate to have such a thing, and a number of friends who are still awaiting either approval or child placement. This sight reflects family life in the 19th century. As do the views of Lord Carey.

Thanks to a number of high profile individuals, including prime minister David Cameron, there is a growing likelihood and belief that C4M's petition and campaigning will not deter the bill being passed in the House of Lords; but with the views of Lord Carey and other faith leaders across the land, it makes the prospect uncertain, still.

Lord Carey and his C4M bunch should be more sympathetic to the realities of the modern world in 2012. Instead of circulating 19th century propaganda and outdated ideologies. More so, they should think a little more about how this makes other human beings feel. If they enjoy bringing stress and misery to other men and women; if they enjoy discriminating against other people just on the basis of who they love, and if they want to make the church even more excluding of individuals than it already is, then they ought to be spending more time and energy questioning their own faiths. ]]>