Jody Brettkelly

Jody Brettkelly 2013-05-24T19:57:15-04:00 Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/index.php?author=jody-brettkelly Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Jody Brettkelly Good old fashioned elbow grease. Angie's Choice tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3294742 2013-05-17T17:10:12-04:00 2013-05-19T17:12:54-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/ four days after she had a double mastectomy she was back at work doing storyboards for the movie she's currently directing.

Photo: Jody Brettkelly, Berlin Film Festival

On Tuesday in an Op-ed titled "My Medical Choice" for The New York Times, Jolie wrote that she has spent the last three months undergoing a preventative double mastectomy and breast reconstruction. She'd lost her mother, Marcheline Bertrand, to breast cancer at age 56 and after learning from doctors of her own high risk of both breast (87%) and ovarian cancers (50%) elected to undergo the major surgery.

In the Bay Area, California where I live, one in seven women get breast cancer so it's something that is very much part of our lives or our friends' lives.

Angelina's decision is one I hope we could all make. Some have said it's not really "brave" because it's the only decision you could make but I've seen friends who've had reconstructive surgery and it's a bitch. On the other hand, is some of what underlies the "she's so brave" comments is that she's beautiful and so the sacrifice counts more? I hope not.

One thing that's always fascinated me about Angie, as she's apparently called by her friends, is that usually she's seen as not relatable.

Why is that? "It's great she made this statement, but otherwise she doesn't interest me" is the comment I've heard this week.

She has beauty (Those eyes! Those lips! That skin! That hair!) and talent beyond the normal order of things but her beauty manages to eclipse her talent. (Elizabeth Taylor seemed to circumvent that somehow.) I find myself never opting to go to her movies. Girl Interrupted being the exception where she almost succeeds in making herself less attractive with the aid of badly peroxided hair, allowing you to concentrate on her character. In some ways, now, she could only play herself, one of the ten most famous, most identifiable people on earth.

Why is that? Is it partly because she hasn't been forgiven for "stealing" Brad from "our Jen" who is the most relatable woman on earth who we just know would make us the best margarita ever and gossip and giggle all night on her white couches, if only we knew her. That of course is blatant sexism because it was Brad who owed loyalty to Jen and he seemed to walk away blameless.

Do we suspect Angie is a "a man's woman" rather than a "woman's woman"? A person who's never taken any shit from a man and if we complained a-la-Bridget Jones about our hopeless boyfriend, she would just say "He's not into you." End of discussion.

In Berlin I went to the premiere of Angelina Jolie's directorial debut, In The Land of Blood and Honey, a love story set against the backdrop of the Bosnian war. Though overly long and featuring actors who lacked charisma, the movie was incredibly searing (horrific rape scenes) and honestly and uncomfortably portrayed a woman who slept with the enemy to save her life. The movie was pretty much panned and seen only by critics but I think a lot of the criticism was because Angelina Jolie made it.

Well, whatever our complicated "relationship" with her, this week she used her superpowers again for good. Yes, good on you Ang.]]> Latest L.A. Work-out Craze: The Sweaty Secret Stairs of Santa Monica tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3209900 2013-05-03T13:36:09-04:00 2013-05-03T18:49:39-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

Here you will find all the Hollywood Wannabes with the AlreadyTheres. My friend thought she saw Matt Damon on one of the days we were there but we couldn't be sure.
I am talking about the 170 wooden steps between Entrada and Adelaide in Santa Monica and a few paces down, the even steeper 189 concrete steps on Fourth Street.
The busiest are the wooden ones which on Yelp have inspired all sorts of vitriol. "If Dante's Hell had a stairmaster this would be it!!" We were sore after walking them four times and some people run up them for an hour!
Actually few people are walking them "Old Skool" as we did. There's one person who walks them on their hands!! Many take them two at a time, some do dance steps or run up sideways, some haul their bikes up.
Some men and women come here to find a date though others complain it's "too much like a meatmarket." There are all shapes and sizes with some awesomely buff and others you wish they put their shirts on. The wealthy or famous park their black Escalades or yellow Lamborghinis at the top of the gorgeous palm tree-lined street, meet their trainer and start the stairs.
But everyone, no matter how wealthy or famous, has to stretch on the sidewalks. Don't try and stretch on the 4th Street grass medium barrier, apparently the residents will call the police to issue you with a ticket.

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

Happy Climbing!
If you want to do the entire two-hour Stairs Walk which is a great way to see into people's backyards, start at the bottom of Amalfi Drive, the home of Tom Hanks, Sugar Ray Leonard, Steven Spielberg and formerly O.J. Simpson. This book will show you the rest of the way.]]> Justification Hotline? It's Me! tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3195461 2013-05-01T16:04:44-04:00 2013-05-02T05:26:29-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/
"Certainly Ms Brettkelly. Connecting you now."

"This is Justification Hotline, the Shopping Desk. Please present your argument."

"Hi, it's Jody here. I've just seen a silk top at my favourite store down the road. It's really pricey. But here's the thing: it may be that final piece of the puzzle that completes and unites my wardrobe."

The Suno top visiting our backyard. Photo by Jody Brettkelly

Friday night birthday drinks at my friend's house. Miami Vice sleeve roll up alert. Photo by Jody Brettkelly

Saturday morning soccer. Photo by Jody Brettkelly

Sat night dinner with mullet tuck. Top was not even stanky after all this thrashing!Photo by Jody Brettkelly

"...And not only that, it checks a lot of boxes when it comes to these Spring Trends I keep reading about: floral with stripes; shot of pink; boxy."

"Ms Brettkelly, just consulting your file: you've told us before that you don't suit boxy and you find silk too silky."

"Yes, but for some reason, it floats enough to seem non-boxy. And this time I don't mind the silkiness. Plus it's easy to dress up and dress down."

"Well, it sounds like a keeper. I'm putting my stamp on this one. Enjoy. And Ms Brettkelly? A friendly reminder... you've made two calls too many this quarter - I don't expect to hear from you until next quarter."

Silence on the other end. The caller may have been already heading back to the store...

(Have you had occasion to reach for the phone lately? Are you still searching for the final piece of the puzzle?)]]> Spring Break Syndrome tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2980752 2013-03-29T15:25:35-04:00 2013-03-31T09:15:24-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/

Mofo Mama cuts short Spring Break. Photo by Jody Brettkelly

My four kids have three different Spring-Easter Breaks so I planned to take the two youngest boys. The forecast was not bright: rain, no snow and rocks galore, but the place we'd booked would only allowed cancellation with two weeks notice.

After a three hour drive and majorly demented by dehydration, I pulled up to Tahoe's Safeway grocery store and allowed the two boys to pile up our cart with sugar cereal - aka 'crack for kids' - thereby propelling them onto a high-low roller coaster.

The loft we'd booked turned out to have the unremitting heat of a Brazilian jungle without the calming effects of a frosty Caipirinha and we sweated and tossed and turned all night long.

The morning was two hours of nagging the boys into their ski clothes, then one couldn't find his season ski pass and the other couldn't find his gloves. Queued up for the new pass and walked into a ski store to buy new gloves.

"Hi! I'm looking for kids' gloves that are warm but don't cost too much." I said to the Dude Doing Nothing.

Dude Dudemeister points to the back, reluctant to move from his Dude-doing-nothing spot. I walked to the back and motioned him over to help.

"What's warm but is the least expensive?" I asked.

Dudemeister said: "I'm not going to make any guarantees about any of the gloves. These probably won't keep you that warm." He handed me a pair that cost $48.

Silly me, I didn't want to pay $48 so I asked him further questions.

At each enquiry he shrugged and said the same thing: "I'm not making any guarantees about the kids' gloves."

I was just about to self combust when I saw the newspaper headlines:

Spring Break Syndrome

Police were called to a ski shop in Tahoe today after a female customer created a disturbance, screaming hysterically and throwing an array of kids' gloves at one of the shop assistants, Dude Dudemeister.

Mr Dudemeister said: "Totally not my fault, man. We were, like, talking about gloves and then she just went, like, freakin' postal on me!"

Mr Ian Bobblehead, head of Psychiatry at WestEastern University said: "We're calling it Spring Break Ski Glove Syndrome. To be honest, I'm amazed they haven't called in more cases."

Witnesses on the scene say police had to carry the woman out of the store and she continued to scream: "I'll give you #*$@%** Ski Glove Guarantees - you Mutha@$%&**!!"

I was ten seconds from being that woman.]]> Travails of a Wannabe Fashion Blogger tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2899653 2013-03-14T16:05:53-04:00 2013-05-14T05:12:01-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/
We all love an outfit post - even if you're thinking: "Uh, oh, dodgyrama... who's going to tell her?" I thought I'd take a quick snap of what I was wearing this morning (why I thought anyone would be interested is another story...) There was a million other things I should be doing (like the grocery shopping and trying to drum up some work) but hang on, this will only take a second...

I started with my new-ish necklace and old sky-blue jeans and boots.

I added my Rag and Bone pink cardy. First of all - how on earth do you take a iPhone photo of yourself into the mirror without it looking like you have Sasquatch hands? Sorry, fuzzy photo alert. This looks like the amount of drugs I had after 26 hours in labour so I could give birth to an 8lb baby. I was trying for colour blocking but it just looks random.

You might wonder why my legs are in this contorted position. I am also trying the Victoria Beckham pose - a three-quarters-on-and-one-leg-way-out-in-front-of-the-other which is supposed to give the illusion of a thigh gap. VB obviously has the real thing.

What about a 'by the beach fireside' look... with my motley white sweater that the dog nibbles on and which has loads of biddy bids (technical term for those wool ball things)? Weird trick of the light but I looked up the duff in this outfit.

Yellow top with sky blue. Beep! - that's a get 'em off buzzer sound. I didn't realise until I took a photo how see-through it was.

Now for the Rip Curl cardy. (I know I'm too old to be wearing surfer brands but I just can't help myself...)

Ok finally! No, it's nothing special don't post that.

All the clothes on the floor. It's already 1.24pm - grocery shopping will have to wait for tomorrow.

The great thing about iPhone pics and Instagram is that it glosses over my scraggy hair and no-make up, hiding what lies beneath... Wish it would hide this mess on the floor of the closet too.]]> Travails of a Wannabe Fashion Blogger tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2877924 2013-03-14T16:05:53-04:00 2013-05-14T05:12:01-04:00

Now for the Rip Curl cardy. (I know I'm too old to be wearing surfer brands but I just can't help myself...)

Ok finally! No, it's nothing special don't post that.

All the clothes on the floor. It's already 1.24pm - grocery shopping will have to wait for tomorrow.

The great thing about iPhone pics and Instagram is that it glosses over my scraggy hair and no-make up, hiding what lies beneath... Wish it would hide this mess on the floor of the closet too.]]> Chartreuse: The Easy Green For Your Home tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2806932 2013-03-04T15:29:27-05:00 2013-05-04T05:12:01-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/ Pantone, the authority on colour trends, has declared Emerald to be this year's hue. The thing is: it's a tricky colour to wear and even trickier to decorate with as it's so jewel-like and distinctive.

An easier green to use in your home is Chartreuse Green, a yellow green named after the French liqueur. Because of its mucky tones, it comes off as 50's vintagey. This means it grounds a very modern interior and makes all others eclectic. Also because of it's yellowness, it plays well with light blues, grays, oranges and purples and is the more laid-back cousin of lime green which is often too jarring, except as an accent.

We used Chartreuse to brighten up an old brown kitchen in a house we rented for five years. Three years ago we bought that same house and remodeled and used loads of Chartreuse again. Yet I've never tired of it. In fact, I've realised it's like a neutral. Here's some photos of our house - see what you think. (For the exterior we used Benjamin Moore 2146-10 )

Kitchen Before:

Photo: Wencke Solfjeld

Kitchen After:

Living Room:

Boys' Bathroom:

Outside House:

]]> My Macklemore Parenting Moment. What what? What? tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2768941 2013-02-26T18:13:53-05:00 2013-04-28T05:12:01-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/ Thriftshop by Macklemore. Not all the lyrics are life with teens, just the slow and constant "What what? What?" throughout.

Maybe it's just my four kids or maybe it's just their ages. Teens and tweenies, they range from 15 to nine years old. But there is no doubt these are the "What?" years.

Tallulah and Cy - look around and smile. What what? What? Photo by Jody Brettkelly

It's like being trapped in a Mafia crime scene, I thought as my husband and I came across five empty candy bags in our room and then tried to find our nine year old's gloves. Stuff is not done, stuff is forgotten, stuff is taken and stuff is not put back. And noooo one knows anything. Nooo one saw anything. Nooo one even remembers where they were at the time.

Who took my phone? What what? What? Who took my last $20 dollars? What what? What? Who bought five bags of candy? Why aren't any of you wearing your ski jackets, where are your goggles! What what what!!!

You two ordered chips AND fries for lunch? What what? What?Photo by Jody Brettkelly

Who made this room such a bloody big mess? What what, what? Photo by Jody Brettkelly

What song is playing your parenting life at the moment?]]> Turning 50: Your Nike Slide Years tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2712886 2013-02-18T17:27:44-05:00 2013-04-20T05:12:01-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/ Eileen Fisher Years." Funnily enough, I've started to dress the same as a teenage boy. My 15 year-old son wears Nike Slides with black socks and they look so comfy I'm decided get some too. So: The Nike Slide Years?

My son Harley, 15, with his Nike-slides-and-black-socks look. Photo: Jody Brettkelly

You also know you're 50-plus when....

1. You go to the exhibition of photographer Cindy Sherman featuring her rendition of sad, aging Hollywood hopefuls. Note to self: best go a bit easier on the lip liner and bronzer.

2. You go to the same restaurant four weekends in a row. Well, you just know what you're getting then, don't you? Lovely.

Sugarcane rolls every Sunday. Photo Jody Brettkelly

3. Your friend tells you about her old Mum playing (seated) balloon volleyball with her friends and you think it's sounds a bit of a lark. Cocktail in hand of course.

4. You have a Black Tie event coming up. Instead of buying this Laundry dress, you decide to just rent it. The way your bat flaps are progressing, you won't be able to wear it again anyway.

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

5. You start to explain the bizarre premise of Hope Springs to your friend: "Meryl Streep has been married to Tommy Lee Jones for 30 years and they haven't had sex for the last five years!!!!"

Your friend replies: "Yeah... and??"

6. You spent hours gazing out at this little touch of flower-sparkle in pots. Lovely.

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

7. The weekends heralds a wee bit of some sun. (Very) begrudgingly you shave your legs.

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

8. At your hip hop class this morning, your teacher leads you in a dance incorporating a move on the floor. Scrambling to your knees, you call out to the rest of the class: "Man still down. Carry on, I'll join you on the 4th count!"]]> Prippy - Where Hippy and Preppy Collide tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2702839 2013-02-16T16:28:29-05:00 2013-04-18T05:12:01-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/ The Prippy Handbook. So it's not my fault that I waste so much time thinking about what new pieces would make my life complete - because I love the boho Hippy and I love the Preppy classics. And maybe, just maybe, I've found Prippy happiness with this gold trench which seems able to span both worlds.

A coat that swings both ways? Preppy, Hippy or just Pimp? Photo: Jody Brettkelly

And at the Claremont Country Club, my eight year old, Cy, and I Photo: Jody Brettkelly

For blogger TG, being Prippy is about F Scott Fitzgerald, vintage James Spader, glittery friendship bracelets, Tina Weymouth of Talking Heads and Stubbs and Wootten slipper shoes which are both old world classics and irreverent (one pair say FU, another pair feature a screw with a 'U")

For me, it's about loving every stripe I see, but wanting to mess up the neatness with a few skulls or my huge hippy rings from India (normally worn one at a time).

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

Or about wanting to wear old jeans and sloppy shirt all day like Barbara from The Good Life but also loving Margot's complete, (wee bit over the top) outfits with high hair and matching hat, gloves and diamonds.

And watching HBO's Girls, flip flopping between wanting the Notting Hill boho of Jessa and the Jackie-O channeling of Marnie. How cool was Jessa's kimono thingy that she wore with sparkly UGG boots on a date? I would look so Mrs Roper in that.

The ultimate Prippy Queens: Kate Bosworth, Sienna Miller, Mila Kunis and Kate Beckinsale: big scarves, floppy sweaters, the Isabel Marant boot, denim shirts, tailored jackets, structured bags and sparkly earings. How do they manage to make it look so cohesive and right?

Of course, this is the dream. Most days I try for the mix, it's Mrs Brady meets Wavy Gravy.

Are you caught betwixt and between two styles too?]]> Seven Secrets of the Science of Shopping tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.2104365 2012-11-09T17:55:40-05:00 2013-01-09T05:12:01-05:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/
The seven definitive economic principles of shopping. First off: the Sunk Cost Bubblegum Frock!

Me at the NY Stock Echange in my Sunk Cost Frock: "Buy, buy?" Photo by Jody Brettkelly

1. Sunk cost: This is a fancy way of my Aunt Edna saying: "Don't throw good money after bad." You made a bad choice, otherwise known as the "airport purchase." At Heathrow Airport in a moment of dehydration you give in to that cheeky glass of wine with your Ye Olde Fishe and Chipse and then buy that pleated bubblegum-pink Mutton-lamb dress. Put it in your costume box. Don't spend more money on trying to make it suitable for a dinner in the City with a new jacket or wrap or boots. I just saw this dress on someone's 18-year-daughter who looked fantastic in it. Fate sealed: in your go, pink frock - costume box.

2. Tax on Innovation: You will come in for some criticism (verbal tax) for for trying out new things (pink airport dress) but you can give yourself credit for forging innovation, or being an "early adopter".

3. Marginal Utility: It's always worth spending more on something you use more. Means that you should feel no guilt about spending on things you wear a lot: like jeans, swimsuits and trench coats. Also means you shouldn't spent loads on things you seldom wear, like ball gowns. In that same light, never buy anything on sale that you wouldn't pay full price for.

4. Backwardation: When an asset is valued more in today's market than in the futures' market. Will that peplum dress really be wearable next year? How about those gold crackle leather pants? If you hesitate at all, don't buy it.

5. Instant Appreciation: When you put on something as soon as you buy, it's a keeper.

6. False arbitrage: Arbitrage works by buying assets and selling others. Doing your usual "One-in-One-out": that is, purchasing a new jacket and and then giving away another jacket to a friend does not qualify.

7. Occam's Razor: the simplest workable theories are also the most useful and the best. White t-shirt and jeans, a classic, why fight it? Jennifer Anniston has perfected it with just a simple leather belt and flip flops and Olivia Palermo with her statement necklace and heels.

What shopping principles do you live by?]]> Searching For the 'Elle Bod' Blouse tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1695673 2012-07-23T13:59:04-04:00 2012-09-22T05:12:05-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/ pics of 48-year-old Elle Macpherson on vacation in Ibiza, in the constant company of the paparazzi. Is it a peasant blouse or a beach cover-up? I'm calling it The Elle, for all it's blue and purple fabulousness with pompoms on top.

Because when you get this top, you get the Elle bod - complete with non-bobbly thighs, silky knees, perky boobs and eternal goldy tan. It's true. That's why I've been searching for it for so long.

Wearing The Elle blouse I could be picking up my kids from soccer camp but look like I've just been hit the sandy shores after yakking all night with celeb peeps who are famous, but in a disarmingly bohemian and eco way. Where did you find it Elle? Could have easily have been a 5 euro find at the beach markets...or 500 euros at Harvey Nicks.

For the past five years I've had my one cover-up stand-by (from Letarte) but it's not The Elle...

Photo: Jody Brettkelly. Wonder why I'm standing in the vege patch...Elle wouldn't do that...

Last week in France, land of charming blouses, I thought I hit le motherlode with these two tops...I would like to say I bought them from a little-known artisan selling her wares in a cobbled alley but actually they came from the 50% off sales at Galleries Lafayette, a big department store.

Photo: Jody Brettkelly. Blouse: Paul and Joe Sister...white jandals bit dorky, Elle wouldn't wear those...

Photo: Jody Brettkelly. Blouse: Gerard Darel. Nothing in the glass, saving calories like Elle

The irony of all this: I have been wearing my new wanna-be Elle blouses with my beloved old rattered Joie shorts and Kasil jeans, neither of which I can bear to throw away. Both have at least five holes in each.

Photo: Jody Brettkelly

What would Elle say?]]> Do All French Men Carry Big Baguettes? tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1684432 2012-07-18T17:45:05-04:00 2012-09-17T05:12:07-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/ Pyrenees tracing some of the Tour de France.

I-Stock Photos

Consider the Tour de France statues along the roads. Not to put too fine a point on it - but even allowing for the fullness of the chamois, is there some patriotic rounding out where the bicycle shorts should be? Standing at the top of the Col de Tourmalet and viewing the most famous statue, the woman next to me was heard to exclaim: "Alors, that bloke is so well endowed!"

Me and husband on the top of the Tourmalet with happy statue

Part of my searching philosophical queries were answered when we visited the thermal baths in Luchon. All male visitors were forced to wear brief black Speedos. If I hadn't been so well brought up I would have been able to confirm, gentle readers, that French men are mere mortals. Oui! OK guys, no excuses about shrinkage - you are in a thermal bath.

Notice at the Luchon thermal pools

I would have also noted (if I hadn't been so well brought up) that French male cyclists wear perilously thin lycra shorts. One must always focus on their reflective glasses. It's too disconcerting to do otherwise. So, still no conclusive evidence about the French cyclists. Are you watching the Tour de France? Let me know...]]> Redheads We Love! tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1634531 2012-06-29T19:00:00-04:00 2012-08-29T05:12:05-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/ Brave the new kids' movie about a 'feisty redhead (why are those words always coupled?) is breaking box office records. The New York Times even did a full page spread on all the hours and days spent considering exactly how her hair should look. Damian Lewis is the leading hunk in Homeland. And Joan of Mad Men is elevating redheads to a sexy new status.

So now is it safe to embrace the 'Gin-ger' in you? For the past 30 years I've spent many hours and loads of money dyeing the red out of my hair - is it time to stop? And what's been so bad about being a redhead?

For the answer I went straight to the redheaded award-winning documentary maker Pietra Brettkelly (who also happens to be my sister). She has been filming a documentary about redheads "to celebrate my tribe. What is the point of it? Maybe I want to make redheads into super heroes, thereby exorcising my own demons of growing up a redhead."

Technically red hair is a chromosomal deficiency often coupled with white skin and freckles - making it the rarest (1%) hair colour in humans. It's this rarity that attracts the pain and the fame.

Throughout history, redheads were prized as chosen ones and feared as aggressors. In Polynesia red hair was seen as a sign of a a ruler and in Mediaeval times artists were obsessed with capturing redheaded beauties. Boudica, who led the British uprising against the Roman Empire was always depicted with flowing titian locks, Joan of Arc was red and Elizabeth the First took the throne with a copper mane, later replaced with a vertiginous wig.

But redheads are also much ridiculed. Some of the insults my sister Pietra collected in her research: Gin-ga (with a hard "g" all the more damning) Orange Goblin, Piss Brindle, "Freckleface your Dad thinks you're a big disgrace!" "Carrot top, carrot top, catch her quick or else she'll pop" "Redhead, mad as a bar, 'cause the silly little thing has ugly hair!" And F.O.T (F****ing Orange Thing) - which is apparently what redheads were sometimes called in the Australian Army.

There is the quiet denial. Recently I heard a mother insist her toddler daughter was a 'strawberry blonde' while behind her a family portrait showed the child - with incandescently flaming red hair.

This year I've seen red fast become a by-word for glamour, with rise of actors Jessica Chastain, Bryce Dallas Howard, Emma Stone and lately Damian Lewis (is he the first redhead leading man ever?) in Homeland. Redhead models are all over the magazines, a far cry from when 80's supermodel Angela Dunn was dismissed with the line: "Redheads can't sell yoghurt - or even the fridge to keep it in."

Redhead Joan in Mad Men has paved the way too, as a sure and sexy but most importantly three-dimensional character. Traditionally, the Hitchcock blonde (in this case Betty) emerges as the likeable protagonist. But here Joan steals all our empathy. Funnily enough, in real life actress January Jones is taking a visible break from Betty by dyeing her hair a very bright red.

This is because red has come to mean authenticity. Nicole Kidman lost a certain amount of intrigue when she bleached her red curls to an almost wig-like patinum, Lolo always goes back to her roots when she wants to be taken seriously. Julianne Moore, ever authentic anyway, famously proved she's a real redhead in Short Cuts.

Who's your favourite red?]]> Photoshop My Life, Baby! tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1563648 2012-06-01T16:40:54-04:00 2012-08-01T05:12:19-04:00

Jody Brettkelly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jody-brettkelly/ reality celebs, actresses and models. Putting pressure on the rest of us to strive for unattainable perfection. The latest furore is over the three models on the cover of the June edition of Glamour magazine.

Pah! - anyone can slice a chunk off their thighs and boost their boobs. I've decided to one-up them and Photoshop my life. This weekend I'm going to be the fab-est mum, wife and friend.

1. Fab Mum: Darlings, I've missed you these last five minutes, let's play rounders on the beach.
Kids: Oh Mother, we just want to hug and smile all the time.

Me and my kids. Photoshop: The High Schooler

Real Mum: Could you smile for the camera for just one second without fighting? Then it's back to the bloody Kid's Club for you!

2. Fab Wife: Darling, I know how concerned you were about the birds eating your strawberries. I thought I'd ward off the birds while you were at work.
Husband: You're the best wife ever. Let's spend some quality time together this weekend building a bird cover.
Fab wife: Lovely.

Me guarding my husband's strawberries. Photoshop: The High Schooler

Real Wife: Spend the weekend putting planks together? Waste of good drinking time - I'll call the handyman first thing.

3. Fab Friend: Greetings Peeps - guess what happened to me today?
Friends: Another fantastic anecdote? Jody, you're so fun and talented, we'd hate you if you weren't so nice.

Me and my "friends." Photoshop: The High Schooler

Real friends: Oh brother, what a pompous old wind bag, we only put up with her because her husband's so sweet.

What would you like to photoshop into your weekend?]]>