2013-05-23T07:07:41-04:00 Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/index.php?author=kirsty-hanly Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Kirsty Hanly Good old fashioned elbow grease. tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3038914 2013-04-09T19:00:00-04:00 2013-04-09T11:59:23-04:00

Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsty-hanly/ 'All or Nothing Thinking'. There's lots of it about and it's scarily detrimental to your state of wellbeing.

You know that underlying feeling that you would start something, but are afraid of not being able to do it as much or as perfectly as you would like? Well, look out for it. If you are prone to this way of thinking you might find it sneaking into many areas of your life - work, chores, weight loss and other health goals, family commitments, hobbies and interests etc. It's all part of the disease called perfectionism and that horror that is at the other end of the scale - procrastination. You might not be surprised to hear that these blocks are incredibly detrimental to being happy, fulfilled and successful and to getting the most out of life.

Today a little bit of 'all or nothing' was flagged up for myself when it manifested in an internal dialogue about going to the gym. One of my goals for the first part of this year was to get fitter. I have been doing pretty well but now have an ankle injury that means I can't do my usual training. So a small voice in my head has been telling me that as I can't do what I need to do I may as well do nothing until the ankle gets better. Luckily I am aware of this phenomena, so the larger voice is going to override this, kick my arse into gear and get down to the gym to benefit from all the other things I can do there that doesn't involve any high impact training!

I also hear it all the time from many of my clients who are often frozen into inaction, as taking action would require a certain amount of failure, or at least a display of imperfection in the initial stages. Even the world's cleverest, most successful of people have had to start somewhere and pretty much all have experienced failure and rejection at some point in their lives. The key is working out how to take the feedback from a disappointing situation, using that feedback to make you stronger and to keep on working at your goal on a regular basis until you achieve what you are after.

Michael Neill put it beautifully in an email newsletter that he sent out recently wishing his readers 'an average day'. What a good idea not to strive to have a great day, as that puts lots of pressure on, but to have a day that is not good, or bad, but somewhere in the middle. How much more could we all achieve if we strive to just do things in a really average way today and every day, instead of having bursts of super activity only once in a while.

I often advise my clients to focus on the smallest of changes that they can make, as doing anything more than nothing is progress in the right direction. It's not the once in a while, big things that will create the biggest positive changes to your life, but a collection of little and often.

I wonder what small steps can you take towards your goal today? I'd love to hear of your experiences and thoughts on having an average day. What could you do a little bit more of today and each day, that in a year you will really notice the difference and feel the accomplishment? I wish you success in anything-more-than-nothing progress towards your goal. www.kirstyhanly.co.uk]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1954010 2012-10-11T19:00:00-04:00 2012-12-11T05:12:01-05:00

Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsty-hanly/
Earlier this year there were reports in the press that by the age of 45, the average woman in the UK will have tried 61 diets. Even if this is wildly overestimated it is a truly disturbing statistic. For that average person to have tried 61 diets, they must have 'failed' at 60 of them. Exhausting, expensive and, unless number 61 was a success, a huge waste of energy.

You just have to type the word 'diet' into Google to be completely bamboozled by the number of apparent weight loss options there are out there. I selected just the UK based results and got 72,900,000 pages to chose from. Even as someone who likes choice, that's very full on. So in this maelstrom of information the diets that shout the loudest are the most successful. You know the ones - you spot them immediately after entering a bookshop and then later they pack every second-hand book shop shelf as they are discarded by all the people that have moved on to the next diet plan.

So, let's think about it for a minute... Once you've got over the nightmare of choosing the diet that absolutely, definitely, has to work this time, surely it follows that if they work, one is enough and it should then be easy to lose the weight, be happy, wear that fabulous bikini, skip over rainbows etc? Except we all know that isn't true.

Why? Because generally, if you're overweight, there's a reason for it, and it's not just as simple as not eating the cake, otherwise you'd have done it by now, right? People who've been on a diet are 'experts' in their field. In a quick survey of women I know, most are able to give you the approximate calories in all major food stuffs, a breakdown of the best low carb recipes, talk for hours on the dangers of wheat and diary etc, etc - forever!

As a Cognitive Hypnotherapist I work with the unconscious mind. Did you know that your unconscious controls at least 90% of what you do? So if it has an idea about why it's good to be overweight, or to use food to allow you to feel better, then all the conscious processes in the world won't be able to change things in the long-term. That's why you can usually loose weight for a bit, but it eventually goes back on again unless something else shifts too.

So how to get your unconscious mind on board? Well, firstly you could start with an emotional needs audit. What isn't being met properly in your life? Finding out and making appropriate changes decreases the need for any emotional dough or crisp shaped crutch.

How are your relationships? Are they fulfilling? Do you get your needs met? Is there an equal give and take? Do you feel loved?

How is your work/life balance? Do you enjoy your work? Do you need to be more fulfilled by your career? Are you able to juggle the needs of your home and work? Do you have enough 'you' time?

And what about fun? It is a basic human need to find enjoyment in life. Are there ways that you can up the fun factor? When was the last time you had a really good belly laugh? Can you build enjoyment into everyday tasks as well as planning some regular ways to increase the amount of time you can just purely have fun?

Are there other things in your life that feel out of balance? What can you do about them? Remember it's the smallest changes that add up to the biggest long-term ones.

You could also go to see a Cognitive Hypnotherapist near you who can help with deeper shifts that could lead to a new relationship with food. What clients often report is that they reach a disconnection from food. It becomes just fuel rather than a big sign saying 'Comfort' or 'Love' or 'Happiness'. This can be a revelation. No longer to be emotionally hijacked by a packet of chocolate biscuits can be a freeing experience. Shifting the way your unconscious mind works to support you can really make the difference in allowing you to reach your long-term weight loss goals. That bikini can be possible, this year and next, and all the way into the future. I'm lucky enough to have experienced it from both sides - as a client and also as a therapist. This really is a great way forward.

For more information on finding a Cognitive Hypnotherapist near you go to the Quest Institute therapist finder at http://www.questinstitute.co.uk/therapist-finder/ or feel free to drop me a line if I can answer any questions you may have or share my experience.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1880352 2012-09-13T09:06:07-04:00 2012-11-13T05:12:01-05:00

Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsty-hanly/
The difference? Well obviously it's no Olympics, no Paralympics, no Jubilee. All of a sudden journalists everywhere have been getting back to the daily grind of reporting on an inquest here, a terrorist attack there, children being horribly murdered and maimed all around the world, political unrest, etc, etc, We have sadly returned to life as we know it (or as it's presented to us, because I'm pretty sure, no I'm positive, that overall it's not that bad!).

I am aware that this is a rather idealistic view, but lets think for a moment. Does it actually help us to know all this bad stuff that's going on in the world? Does knowing small amounts about lots of grizzly stuff make the chances of it not happening any less? I'm really not sure it does. I think to a great extent we've become immune to it. Anyway, who decided that most of every news bulliten should be filled with entirely depressing content that, over time would bring even the happiest person to a state of glumness?

In my work as a Cognitive Hypnotherapist I see so many people in states of acute anxiety, depression and stress. One of the things that really makes a difference (and research widely supports this) is getting the unconscious mind to focus on the positives around us. The more we are able to do this, the better we feel. It sounds simple doesn't it? But unfortunately we live in a society that greatly prefers it to be the other way around.

Now I really like the BBC and especially Radio 4, but here's a message to Mr D.G. and all those management types who have arrived at this negative way of filling our living rooms and therefore our heads: We don't need it. We feel better knowing about the good stuff of life. There's loads of news to be found there too you know, you just don't report it.

I've just spent a while looking online at the front pages of the UK's major newspapers and I have struggled to find much at all in the way of happiness at all. However, did you know that this week a gorgeous new monkey species was found in the Congo? (super cute - have a look for yourself - http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2012/sep/13/new-monkey-species-congo-lesula).

There, doesn't that feel better?

Rant over. I thank you.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1678882 2012-07-18T19:00:00-04:00 2012-09-17T05:12:07-04:00

Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsty-hanly/
Big hopes have been raised - and dashed, goals scored, or not, sliced backhands, delivered and now we are gearing up to the London Olympics - the biggest event of the calendar.

What makes this season interesting for me, as a Cognitive Hypnotherapist and Mind Coach, is watching the performances of all those competitors. What gives those at the top of their game the edge? I know from my work that often you can see, just by watching a performer, sports person or someone giving a speech, whether they are in 'the zone', or not. And it's the same with sports people. Do you ever think about what makes the difference between someone who is performing at their peak and someone who isn't?

A good illustration of this was at the recent Euro 2012 quarter final back in June. The game had gone to penalties and the two goalkeepers displayed very different temperaments. Gianluigi Buffon, for Italy was incredibly focused. The concentration on his face and in the physicality of his body was immense. He looked like he meant business and he delivered. Joe Hart for England however, was literally all over the place. To an observer it seemed that he was completely focused only on distracting those footballers taking the penalties and lost all concentration on what he was supposed to be doing. Not surprisingly, the England team lost and were out of the tournament.

You won't usually notice the difference that makes the difference so clearly, but there are some definite things to watch out for. Divers are usually filmed close up before they make their jump and their faces often betray the correct inner state required for the perfect dive. Many also use visualisation - seeing themselves hitting the water at just the right angle. Everything about them geared up to be the best they can be. Sports people, and positive pschologists often call this 'flow'. You know that feeling when everything is working perfectly, going just as it should. That level of unconscious competence that is required to be the best you can be in any given moment.

This state of being can be really useful in work situations too. To be able to perform at your highest level, to have the edge over your competitors and to be the best version of yourself. In order to develop that edge the three main areas to think about are:

Belief

What you do or don't believe about yourself. Do you really believe you can do it, or are you feeling somehow held back in this area? Do you have underlying issues such as not feeling like you deserve success? Perhaps you don't think you are good enough to achieve? Or perhaps you are a perfectionist and don't want to fail at something. Ask yourself, who you would be if deep down to the core, you really believed in yourself and your abilities?

Focus and flow

You know that feeling when everything is going just as it should? Like you're being carried along easily, no need to expend too much effort or to think too hard about what you're doing. It's that 'flow' that allows you to almost empty your mind and just let things happen. Breathing steadily and calmly can really help with this, as can imagining a colour of that state and sending it to the places in your body and mind that would benefit from it the most. The technique of 7/11 breathing can make a big difference. Have a look here for more information.

Visualisation

See yourself achieving it, doing it, being the person you want to be. How would that you act? What would that you think? If you know someone who is an expert at the thing you have in mind, observe them (YouTube is great for this). Allow your eyes to defocus slightly and imagine your head on their body. Your unconscious mind can then absorb what it needs to learn about the physicality of success to help you to achieve better.

Some people find that despite their best conscious efforts they still cannot make that final hurdle that takes them to the top. If you feel stuck then working with the unconscious mind can really make a difference. Cognitive Hypnotherapy can help to break through anything that might still be holding you back, allowing you to achieve so much more in your life.

So good luck to all those competing in a few weeks time. We could all remember to focus on what gives us the edge, make the positive changes, and see how far we can go.

www.kirstyhanly.co.uk]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1603975 2012-06-18T19:00:00-04:00 2012-08-18T05:12:12-04:00

Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsty-hanly/
I'm not saying that life isn't hard sometimes, or even a lot of the time. But how would it be to see or experience it much more positively and to feel that you are in control of how things are for you?

Someone told me a story recently about their brother-in-law, a doctor in a small town in the west of England. Each day his secretary would put in front of him a list of his patients for the day. From this list, and based on whether he had any 'difficult' people on it or not, he decided whether today he would be having a good day, or a bad day. Can you imagine handing over your happiness to others in that way? Perhaps you can.

One of the most useful things that I have learnt through all the training that I have undergone, is the positive consequence of my gradual shift from being fairly externally focussed or ELOC (having an External Locus of Control), to being much more ILOC (Internal Locus of Control), through the therapeutic work I have had myself. The doctor described above is obviously very externally focussed. He could also choose not to let his patients dictate how he feels each day. How much better would that be for him? I have found that the more I bring things back to an ILOC position, for me, the better life becomes - and I see it in my clients too.

If you imagine a line, with ILOC at one end and ELOC at the other, most of us are not right at the extreme of either, but somewhere along that line. The theory goes that the further along the scale towards ILOC you are, the happier you're able to be and the less stress you'll feel.

How much better would it be to feel that your success in life is dictated by what you can achieve rather than by what opportunities others give you? Not to feel like a reed blowing in the wind, but to have that inner strength that allows you to stay strong no matter what is going on around you. To really understand that you always have choices, even in the most difficult of circumstances.

There are a few things you can start to do to become more ILOC in your own life:

1. Realise the choices in every situation - that by not making a decision to change something, you are actually making a choice.

2. Plan and goal set so you can positively steer your life in the direction you would choose.

3. Spend time working out who you are and what you want from life - increasing that inner strength.

4. Embrace the concept of 'There's no failure only feedback' and dare to try.

It's not all about a simple change in perception as often there can be deeply held limiting beliefs that get in the way. Cognitive Hypnotherapy can help with this and leave you free to experience life in a much more positive way. Just imagine for a moment how it would be to not allow your happiness to be dictated by what's outside, but rather by what's inside yourself? It sounds good doesn't it? How could you move along the line, further towards an ILOC way of life?

Kirsty Hanly is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist working from No 1. Harley Street, London. www.kirstyhanly.co.uk
]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1432434 2012-04-19T19:00:00-04:00 2012-06-19T05:12:01-04:00

Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsty-hanly/ you eat an elephant?" Well of course the answer is "One bite at a time".

What is your elephant right now? Perhaps it's a work deadline, an exam, a job application or a weight loss goal - something that you feel to be really big and daunting and that you just can't seem to get started on.

The trouble is that having big elephants around can be a major cause of stress. For many people, the metaphorical elephant seems so big they either can't decide where to begin, or they just ignore it hope it goes away (related to the 'Elephant in the Room' syndrome perhaps?

Having large goals is great because they give you something to aim for, but it's even better if you can start to work on them in a meaningful way. Then you can alleviate the stress that you put on yourself, put down the stick you may be beating yourself with, and get on with a small bite, even a nibble, at regular intervals.

A great start is to write down, as specifically as possible:
• What do I want to achieve?
• Where am I now in relation to my goal
• What might be an obstacle to achieving my goal?
• Is there something that I believe or don't believe about myself that might be holding me back from achieving it? (if you get a YES to this one it might be worth thinking about contacting someone who can help you overcome this - see below).

In order to ensure that your goal is clear, ask yourself if it is SMART? That is, is it Specific, Measurable (how will you know when you've achieved it?), Achievable? (Can you actually do it?), Realistic and Time Framed (by when does this need to be achieved?).

Then write down write down your large goal and work backwards - setting time-frames to work towards is key:
• When do I want/need to have achieved my goal by? (e.g. six months from now)
• Then set a time half way between then and now for a mini goal - (e.g. in three months) and write down what you need to have achieved by then.
• Then repeat, until you have goals in a week and a month that you can work towards.

A great thing to remember is that anything better than nothing is achievement. Start with nibbling an ear perhaps, and before you know it you'll be at the tail end and pleasantly full.

If you feel that there is something holding you back from achieving what you want, perhaps your unconscious has a different idea about what should be happening for you. If you would like help steering it in the right direction, Cognitive Hypnotherapy and Project You coaching can make a huge difference. You can find a therapist in your area by going to the Quest Cognitive Hypnotherapy Therapist Finder here or I am happy to answer any questions you may have via my website at www.kirstyhanly.co.uk.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1326447 2012-03-08T19:00:00-05:00 2012-05-08T05:12:02-04:00

Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsty-hanly/ Trevor Silvester of the Quest Institute. I always take away so much both professionally and personally from training with Trevor, the founder of Cognitive Hypnotherapy, but this weekend contained so many things that resonated with me and that I can't wait to use in my client sessions.

I'll be blogging about some of these over the coming month, but the first things that I really wanted to share with you is something that I have been thinking of for a while now but that we discussed much more over the weekend: The concept of Living Deliberately and what a difference it can make to the way we experience life and ultimately, what we get out of it.

It can be very easy to live with the attitude that life happens around us and to us, but that ultimately that we have little control over it. One of the main aspects I work on with people who come to see my at my Cognitive Hypnotheapy practice, is helping them to recognise that they are the ones in the driving seat. That they can have control, whatever that means for them.

In the 21st Century we can live such busy lives that it's very easy to lose awareness of the ability we all have to control our emotions, our state of mind and the skill of planning for happiness. Rather than just letting life happen to you, how much better might it be to consciously steer it, through your actions, thought and feelings, in a more positive direction? We often spend a long time worrying about things in our lives - focussing on how badly something might go, how much worse things could be, etc. 'Worrying' is one term for it and so is 'planning for the worst'! Perhaps, by spending all that time focussing on the negatives, you are in fact planning for it to go wrong. How about instead using all that time and energy planning for success?

As human beings we have to make choices all day long - choices about what we will eat, what will we wear, where we will sit on the bus, what book we might read etc. It can be easy to forget, but we also have choices about how we react emotionally to things around us. Will I be pleasant or grumpy towards my mother-in-law? Will I allow my mean spirited colleague to dictate my mood for the day? Will I allow the fact that I'm running five minutes late to cause me to feel stressed, or perhaps not? The trouble can be that we forget these are choices and end up feeling as if we are wafting in the breeze, waiting to see how people and things affect our mood. So how much better would it be not only to choose the road you take, but also to choose the mode of transport, the speed and how often you need to refresh the satellite navigation system, or plot in a new destination?

Living deliberately is about not just letting life happen, but about making lots of positive choices about how you feel and act, every day, that can steer you in the direction you'd like to be in. It's about taking off the automatic pilot and taking over the controls.

Does that sound like something you could try? As a very wise man once said (just this past weekend!), "It doesn't have to be easy, just possible".

www.kirstyhanly.co.uk]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1257964 2012-02-07T19:00:00-05:00 2012-04-08T05:12:01-04:00

Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsty-hanly/ Cognitive Hypnotherapy practice for seemingly unrelated reasons, also report that they have difficulty sleeping. In fact statistics show that 25% of the population of the UK suffer from a sleep disorder of one kind or another, resulting in them feeling tired during the daytime. Astonishingly, that's one quarter of everyone out there. Luckily though, many of these can be cured relatively easily through the right emotional and lifestyle adjustments.

Stress can be a huge factor in affecting our sleep patterns. When we are stressed the sympathetic nervous system reacts as if we are facing a threat and sets off the fight or flight response. If we spend most of the day stressed it can lead to a slow drip of this effect. This can cause long term health problems, but also really affects our ability to wind down at the end of the day and to experience a good night's sleep.

Did you know that the only sense that doesn't fully rest when we sleep is our hearing? If we are in this stress-response, how exhausting for our unconscious minds to be continually listening out for perceived threats all night long, even if those 'threats' are the cat, or our children, or a car driving by.

So what can be done to switch off that red alert? It's all to do with unwinding that coil of tension, and setting the scene for sleep. Here are some suggestions that you might try:

1. Practice feeling relaxed. It doesn't come naturally to everyone so think of it as a project. Some people choose to have a warm bubble bath, or to do yoga, or for others it's simple breathing techniques such as the one explained here. Just commit to doing something more than nothing to take you closer to that relaxed you.

2. Get smelling. For many people smell anchors are great ways to get into a different state. Did you ever walk into a room and get transported back to being a child by something with a particular scent? Did someone ever walk past you wearing a perfume that reminded you instantly of somebody you used to know? The next time you are feeling really relaxed have a scent that you like to smell by your side and inhale deeply. Then you can use this scent to take you to that place again. If you are stuck for what to use, lavender oil is a good one to start with. Try it, it really works!

3. Set a regular bedtime. It can be hard to achieve, but as much as possible set regular times for going to sleep and waking up. We all have really quite impressive internal clocks (think jet-lag!) and setting them for sleep can be one of the most helpful things you can do. Although you might want to lie in if you've had a bad night's sleep do try and get up at your usual time. It really will make all the difference.

4. Avoid stimulants. Amongst other things, caffeine increases your heart-rate, providing a similar physiological responses to stress. It also stays in your system for many hours. After 6pm, rather than tea, coffee or cola drinks, try herb teas, water etc.

I wish you a good night and sweet dreams. And please, if you are worried about your sleep pattern, it is always worth checking with a medical professional to ensure that there aren't any underlying issues. ]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.1172203 2012-01-02T19:00:00-05:00 2012-03-03T05:12:01-05:00

Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsty-hanly/
• Lose Weight and Get Fit
• Quit Smoking
• Learn Something New
• Eat Healthier and Diet
• Get Out of Debt and Save Money
• Spend More Time With Family
• Travel to New Places
• Be Less Stressed
• Volunteer
• Drink Less

It is true that many people end up putting the same resolutions on their list year after year and not making it much past the end of January before they are broken. If this resonates with you, how great would it be to achieve your resolutions during 2012 and not experience that groundhog day moment when you're writing your list next year? Here are a few principles that might help.

1. Be specific and realistic about your goal.

Your unconscious mind likes specifics and to achieve your goal it must be realistically achievable too. If you are intending to lose weight, write down exactly how much weight you would like to loose and then break it down into manageable chunks (for example, studies show that 2lb a week is a healthy target for most people). If fitness is one of your resolutions, what exactly does that mean to you? For some, a fitness goal might be walking up the escalators or stairs on the way to work and for others, taking part in a charity run. If you would like to reduce your debts, then work out specifically where you will make savings, how much, and keep a record of them in a notebook to remind you of how well you are doing.

2. Record the positives

If you slip up once in a while, it's okay - everyone's human. However, often where people go wrong is to focus on the slip-up instead of all the good things they have achieved along the way. Keep a success diary and, in the evening, write down three positive things to do with your resolution that you have experienced during your day. It doesn't matter if you have more than three things, but write down at least three. They can be big or small, it really doesn't matter, but it just helps prime your mind for the following day and serves as a record if you start to get despondent.

3. Understand that all behaviour has a purpose

Research has shown that your unconscious mind controls approximately 90% of everything you do. If you are struggling with something that you feel 'should' be a lot easier than it is, perhaps your unconscious has a different plan for you. Maybe it's time to start to work with it rather than against it? Throughout our childhood we all receive 'post-hypnotic' suggestions from parents, teachers etc. What were you told that might have stuck? Some of my clients report phrases such as "You'll never get anywhere in life if you act like that", "All the women in our family are obese", "You're so stupid" and messages about how drinking and smoking ease stress and help you have fun. Our immature childhood mind then processes these and locks them away in our unconscious ready to comply when necessary. This can then lead to a failure to achieve what we are trying so hard to overcome - resulting in carrying excess weight, drinking too much, not achieving at work - basically a feeling that something is well and truly holding you back. The good news is that these patterns can be changed and, with the right help, often quicker than you might imagine. I work with many clients who go from that stuck feeling to achieving things they once didn't think possible. If this sounds like you, do have a look into how Cognitive Hypnotherapy might help.

4. Reward yourself

We are naturally motivated to move towards pleasure and reward and away from pain, so build in targets that you can reward yourself for. It can be anything that makes you happy. Why not make a list of ways to pamper yourself and build it into a schedule of achievement? This also means that in order to make a goal achievable we need to frame with the language of reward. Not 'I must go to the gym more', but perhaps 'I want to feel healthy and fit and full of energy'. Not 'I must be less stressed', but perhaps 'I would like to be more relaxed and laid back''

5. Visualise yourself having achieved your goal

To help guide your unconscious in the way it supports you, spend a few minutes each day going out to an imagined time in the future when you have achieved your goal. Really work up this image by picturing that you in the future as strongly as possible. Everything about the way you look, how positively you're interacting with the people around you, how they're interacting with you. Then when you have observed yourself as strongly as possible, imagine going down into the body of that you in the future and really feel how good it is to be that person, having achieved that goal. Look through the eyes of that future you. What would you see that lets you know you have been successful? What would you hear? There is strong evidence to suggest that just having imagined something allows your mind to believe more and more that it is possible, and even that it is already happening. You might be surprised how effective this can be in guiding you towards achieving your resolution.

I wish you success in creating the life you want for yourself in 2012. Just remember to note and praise yourself for each step forward, to try to learn from any slip-ups - but don't over focus on them, and have fun on the journey. You never know, it might just be as enjoyable as reaching the destination!

www.kirstyhanly.co.uk]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.1144087 2011-12-14T19:00:00-05:00 2012-02-13T05:12:01-05:00

Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsty-hanly/
I visited my local supermarket on Saturday and, as you might expect (as it's been that way since October), the shelves were filled with Christmas treats. However there was already that slightly hysterical note in the air as people bulk bought food as if the shops were about to close for a month and their lives depended on it. Here's a newsflash for the people of North London - that particular large supermarket is only closed for one day - Christmas Day!

So why does this collective overindulgence happen? Not so long ago it was the norm to have a naughtily indulgent, but not excessive Christmas. What has changed? Perhaps part of the reason is that more and more in our society, food and alcohol equal love and fun and unconsciously we pick up these messages all the time through advertising and the press. We are deeply programmed to be motivated towards things that make us feel good, so our unconscious minds are often encouraging us to consume more, and more often, as these messages get increasingly mixed up.

How can you begin to re-educate our unconscious minds and ensure that that food is just that - food? To be enjoyed absolutely, but not in place of love, not for comfort and not as a poor substitute for fun. You can start to make a change by being more conscious of how this might happen for you, and by doing more of what is healthy to satisfy your needs. There are some great techniques that us Cognitive Hypnotherapists use, some derived from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). These techniques unhook that connection and clients often find that quite easily they are able to re-direct their unconscious processes as a result of their Hypnotherapy sessions.

I also find that watching my young children is a great way to learn how to enjoy the simple things for what they are. How they get so much pleasure out of dancing or singing, or just having a good old giggle is so inspiring to me.

Over the holiday season perhaps have a think about other ways to treat yourself. What might you do to pamper yourself? How else would it be possible to have lots of fun? Perhaps you could post up a suggestion of what works for you and see if we can get a really inspiring list of things to do over the holiday season. How would it be to try a different way this year?

www.kirstyhanly.co.uk
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Kirsty Hanly http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kirsty-hanly/
Really? For many people Christmas and the run up to it can be a really stressful time. There are presents to be bought, the kids are on holiday and need to be entertained, huge meals are to be cooked, finances juggled to pay for it all, and to top it off we are expected to have lots and lots of FUN!

Do you ever feel as if there just aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done and to stay sane? I see many clients in my cognitive hypnotherapy practice who have become burnt out through putting everything and everyone in their lives, except themselves, first. During the run up to the holidays this can really be exacerbated by all the expectations of family, friends and work colleagues. It's no joke that as relationships become stretched, some legal firms even cynically cash in on this at Christmas time by offering 'divorce' gift vouchers.

I work with my client's unconscious mind, which studies have shown, controls around 90% of our behaviour. For more information on how this affects us please feel free to browse my website, but to put it simply, if your unconscious has an idea that conflicts with what our conscious mind is trying to achieve, it will be a real uphill struggle. The unconscious part of your brain might be metaphorically screaming at you to slow down and take things easy, whilst your conscious mind is trying so hard to do the shopping, wrap the gifts etc. It all sounds exhausting doesn't it?

So how can we avoid becoming more and more frazzled and stressed out? It is really important to look after ourselves and to take time out to work with our minds (and bodies), not against them. Often this can be much simpler than you might think. Here are five tips to help you sail through into the new year with a positive frame of mind:

1. Make a plan. It might seem simple, but it can be easy to forget that a list really helps when you've got lots on your mind. I even suggest to some of my clients to keep a notebook by their bed so that they can scribble their thoughts in it during a restless night. It's so much better on paper than in your head and can allow then your mind to be free to rest when it most needs it.

2. Take care of yourself. We all know how to do this don't we - eat well, get enough sleep, exercise, drink plenty of water - but it can be easy to forget, especially in the party season. You might be surprised how in just a few moments a day to be still and check in with yourself, you can really begin to notice a difference in how you feel. Just stopping long enough to let your conscious mind rest to allow the unconscious mind to tell you what it needs, is all it takes. Some people choose to learn self-hypnosis or to listen to a hypnosis CD to make this more effective. A cognitive hypnotherapist in your area could help you with this.

3. Set a budget and stick to it. Financial issues are one of the biggest causes of stress in this country. If money is tight then Christmas can be the time of year where you start to feel it the most. We live in a consumerist society where more, more, more is becoming the norm at Christmas. However, gift giving in itself is a lovely thing to do, no matter how much the gift costs. You might be surprised how one well thought out, or even homemade gift can have the greatest impact.

4. Feel the Christmas love (whenever you can). Did you know that showing kindness to people is actually good for your health? The bonding hormone, oxytocin, is released through warm emotional contact, which we can all create in everyday social situations. Some studies show that this has an effect on the vegus nerve which in turn reduces inflammation in the body, making you all round healthier. So by smiling lots and being kind to others you are actually improving your own wellbeing. How good is that! For more information on this have a look at Dr David Hamilton's website at www.drdavidhamilton.com.

5. And finally - breathe. It might sound obvious, but when we feel anxious or are stressed, the fight or flight mechanism that kicks in causes us to breathe shallowly, taking in too much oxygen. Counteracting this means that we confuse the body into relaxing as it's physiologically impossible to feel stressed and relaxed at the same time. Give this simple technique of 7/11 breathing a go and see what a difference it can make.

7/11 Breathing

Step 1
Get comfortable and sit down if possible.

Step 2
Breathe in through your nose to a count of seven. Imagine the air is reaching all the way down to your diaphragm so your stomach pushes outwards with the breath.

Step 3
Breathe out through your mouth for a count of 11.
Repeat as many times as is necessary for you to feel better and enjoy the relaxed feeling that it brings.

Give these suggestions a go and perhaps think of some other ways to begin to listen to the messages from your unconscious mind. It might just make the difference that makes the difference and lead to a happier, more relaxed, best possible you for 2012.
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