Laurence Clark2013-06-19T18:59:32-04:00Laurence Clarkhttp://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/index.php?author=laurence-clarkCopyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc.HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Laurence ClarkGood old fashioned elbow grease.Captive Audiencetag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.17561352012-08-08T11:49:10-04:002012-10-08T05:12:32-04:00Laurence Clarkhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/laurence-clark/Edinburgh Fringe. I'm not going to tell you which one it was because I'm performing at the fringe myself, so it's not my place to criticise my peers. It was one of those typical fringe evenings where everything you fancy seeing has already sold out, so you end up taking a punt on somebody that you've never heard of. As someone who's not a huge fan of mixing music and comedy, I knew I wasn't going to enjoy the show within the first minute when a guitar appeared on stage. My immediate instincts were to quit while I was ahead and try to quietly sneak out of the back of the room. The one problem with my plan was that's easier said than done when you're sitting in a large powered wheelchair.
Typically at gigs, wheelchair users get the Hobson's choice of sitting at either the very front where you risk the eagle eye of the comic picking on you; or the very back where you get to see bugger all and feel a bit left out of the whole thing. The anonymity and decent views offered by the middle of the auditorium usually seem to elude us. On this occasion I had the double whammy of being at the front and hemmed in both to the side and back of me by two fellow wheelchair users. Therefore as there was no possible way of escaping without causing one hell of a major disruption, I resolved to sit it out in boredom for the remaining 59 minutes.
But I partly couldn't bring myself to leave because I could remember how I've felt on the rare occasion when I've noticed someone sneaking out at the back during one of my shows. Comedians aren't very good at dealing with rejection, even at the best of times. A little part of me feels hurt and betrayed that they've broken the commitment they made to me when they purchased their ticket. After all, our fair-weather relationship was supposed to last for a full hour, so it's only natural to wonder where I went wrong. Yes stand-up comics really are incredibly bad at coping with being rejected!
After a walk-out I will then typically spend the next couple of minutes with one eye on the door, hoping they've just nipped out to take a quick piss and they'll be coming back to pick up our relationship where they left off.
So despite being quite literally a captive audience member, I'm glad I stuck it out till the end last night. In truth the show probably wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Indeed the rest of the audience seemed to be having a whale of a time. I even grudgingly quite enjoyed one or two of the songs and sang along to the closing number.
I guess when it comes to relationships I'm the type of person that's in for the long haul.
Laurence Clark: Inspired. The Edinburgh Fringe Festival @ 17.20 Underbelly, Bristo Sq.]]>The Olympics and the Edinburgh Fringe All in One Gotag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.17202892012-07-30T14:15:49-04:002012-09-29T05:12:39-04:00Laurence Clarkhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/laurence-clark/Edinburgh Fringe is almost upon us and already I've seen people on Twitter complaining that it's become even more expensive yet again. The same is also true for us comics, as even the most frugal 4-week run won't see much change out of ten grand. Indeed I reckon this is probably why I'll be the envy of almost every other comedian at the fringe this year.
On the whole, I'm not really someone who gambles on dogs or horses. I don't think I've ever so much as set foot in a bookies. I don't even believe in buying lottery tickets. Yet there's something I find irresistible about spending thousands upon thousands of pounds to go up to Scotland for four weeks every year and work my arse off in order to lose loads of money. Maybe it's the hope that I'll be somehow 'discovered' and shoot to stardom? Maybe it's the prospect of all the various tantalising awards? I'd probably be horrified if I ever stopped to actually work out the statistical probabilities of either of these happening to me. Yet every year I take a punt on the Edinburgh Fringe.
So where does the money from all your pricey tickets go? Well obviously the venues take their cut. Then there's the producer, the publicist, the flyers, the people who give out the flyers, the posters, the peope who put up the posters, the fringe entry fee, the advertising... and that's before you even get down to the cost of actually making your show!
This is why I think I'm going to be the envy of other comics, as this year my show has been entirely funded by the Cultural Olympiad. How popular is this going to make me huh?
No-one was more surprised than me that I got this funding. After all, I'm not in the slightest bit sporty in any way, shape or form. As inspiration was one of the key themes of the Olympics, I put in a proposal to seemingly do a show about the exact opposite of what they are looking for - namely a stand-up show about how being called inspirational isn't always such a good thing. I never for one minute expected to get the funding and I think it's to the Cultural Olympiad's credit that they were prepared to take a punt on me. Besides I wouldn't be doing my job as a stand-up comedian if I wasn't going against the status quo and arguing the opposite viewpoint to what everyone else thinks. Otherwise I'd just be preaching to the converted!
So if you're still in a quandary over whether to make a last-minute effort to try to get Olympics tickets and fill some of those controversial empty seats or come to the Edinburgh Fringe, why not kill two birds with one stone and come to see my show. You can expect absurd logic, death-defying stunts and unusual varieties of crisps... just don't expect to come away 'inspired'!