2013-05-21T22:38:24-04:00 Madeline Treby http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/index.php?author=madeline-treby Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Madeline Treby Good old fashioned elbow grease. tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1292403 2012-02-21T20:01:30-05:00 2012-04-22T05:12:01-04:00

Madeline Treby http://www.huffingtonpost.com/madeline-treby/
That is the idyllic image most people have of their perfect summer holiday. Not my mum however. Where is your mum going on holiday you may wonder? My mum is nearly hitting the big 50. She is single and I would say normal. Maybe you would expect her to be jet setting off to Italy or Greece. Having a holiday jam-packed of sightseeing or just taking a relaxing break in the sun.

Wrong! My mum is going to Magaluf with a group of young girls from work. Magaluf: the place that is also referred to as 'Shagaluf!' A place that is considered, and promoted as a holiday destination for 18 to 30 year olds. She has insisted there will be many people there of a similar age but, I can imagine the places her friends intend on going will not be suitable for the older generation.

The prospect of my mum being surrounded by rowdy boys on their 'lads' holiday' is daunting.
Yet, it is not just my mum who is going on a booze packed holiday this summer. Almost everyone I know has either planned to go or, has already booked a clubbing holiday. Students and teenagers all over (and my mum) are flocking to these party zones celebrating the end of exams, while other people are just going to take the chance to let loose and go wild with their friends.

The highly successful and award winning comedy 'The Inbetweeners' moved to the big screen last summer with the 'Inbetweeners movie.' The film was shot partly in Magaluf and Malia. It shows the quest of socially awkward teenagers Simon, Neil, Will and Jay to lose their virginity and party. It is also Simon's attempt at getting over Carly the love of his life.

The film's popularity has caused a boom for party destinations, especially Malia. Hotel searches for Malia have increased by 243% in comparison to last year's figures according to Hotels.com. A summer trip to Malia, Magaluf, Ayia Napa, Ibiza and Zante has become standard.
People with Simon's dodgy haircut, as testosterone filled as Jay and armed with Neil's surprisingly impressive dance moves are heading on holiday hoping to end up as lucky as Will; scoring the beautiful girl. Expecting for the holiday of a lifetime and as Jay Cartwright puts it: "Three weeks of sun, sea, booze, m***e, f***y and sex."
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Madeline Treby http://www.huffingtonpost.com/madeline-treby/
After glancing over copious amounts of sex tips and facts offered by magazines, websites and the occasional TV program, you have probably accumulated enough knowledge to prepare for the greatest sex, to blow any human's mind and make this winter season in amazing. Ones you may have picked up could include: you must drink coffee before sex, as research has shown that drinking caffeine has been proven to increase sexual motivation in rats; Your partner should be on an all pineapple diet, because apparently that makes his sperm taste better. But that's ok, because another article stated weight loss makes a penis look bigger, so the diet works in two ways; and you should replace the moisturizer in the bathroom with the pumpkin pie you purchased earlier from Tesco (or Waitrose if it's a special occasion) as it's supposedly the most arousing scent for a man. Oh! Exercise aids sexual sensitivity too. Basically before sex if you run around like a crazed mud monster, eating pineapples and hyped on caffeine then you're ready to go!

That's just some of the things we are told by the media that we need to do in order to have good sex; there are tons more facts that we are fed weekly to improve sex during intercourse too. For example, studies have proven that lying down can reduce sensitivity to our senses, like sound or smell. Therefore, you can't lie down during sex anymore - no more missionary!
The problem is we are constantly being told these facts and tips to please our partner, that sex has lost its meaning. What happened to just simple, plain sex in a bed? Yes, it does get boring and some of these tips on how to enhance your sex life are great, but do we really need to go as far as some of these suggest? Quite frankly I'd rather eat that pumpkin pie. One sexual tip I've read was that sperm has a tightening effect on the skin, which is an intriguing fact and a funny beauty tip ; the only downside is that you have to walk around with sperm on you face, and I'm fairly sure your next door neighbour won't believe you if you tried to convince them it was that face mask from Boots.

Magazines and websites continually revamp a new list of top 10 sex tips every week; instead of getting lost in the moment, we're trying to figure out if we're on step five of what the article said or step three, and spend most of the time reciting those guidelines. It becomes sex with instructions. Some recommend 'dirty talk' and for all you who are beginners with this, many suggest to just direct your partner's movements. Now, I've recently just moved to London and my 'directional language' has changed from left to right, too 'southbound' Bakerloo line towards embankment, and 'westbound' on the Piccadilly line to Cockfosters - I can't imagine me using directions from Baker Street to Leicester square as the route to my G-spot is in anyway sexy.

It's not just the way some of these articles make sex as complicated as assembling a bed or how they emphasise the necessity of such preparation, that anyone would think we're taking part in the Olympics; it's also the way they highlight our performance insecurities. Everyone is different and everyone likes different things. Now, I know this may be contradicting myself, but my sexual tip for this Christmas is: why don't you take time in finding out what your partner wants from them and not some person's website... Plus it's claimed we burn approximately 100 to 150 calories during intercourse and if that's the case, you can carry on eating all that food at Christmas!
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