Who needs books when you have the possibility of Andrew Stone teaching Michael Masden the routine to Baby One More Time and seeing what Cocozza's barnet really looks like in the morning?

I'm just going to say it; I think that this series of Celebrity Big Brother could be the best one yet. Don't get me wrong, the show still lacks that natural magic spark it once had, but it has been replaced by comedy so genius that it writes itself.

Last night the self-confessed 'triple threat' Andrew Stone couldn't get enough of the sound of his own voice, as he went in to great detail about his life, loves and career crushes. If that man ever releases a book, which he actually hinted at during last night's self-indulgent bore fest, it will probably sell as well as Alan Partridge's Bouncing Back but won't come with free torch or Chocolate Orange.

Take a shot, let's get drunk and hit the dance floor. Sorry, you caught me mid flow of the K Mart Barbie twin's Hollywood anthem, and did you see Andrew Stone grinding upon that kitchen work surface praying it was a woman who actually believes he is straight?

Andrew Stone is fine with being nominated, no really he is... Kim Kardashian wannabe, Georgia Salpa, is also facing the chop, but who is honestly going to know she was ever there? The highlight of her experience so far was showing her boobs to all the ladies in the loo...

Tomorrow sees the first eviction of the series, and my money is on Georgia to leave, and her one man fan club cannot vote to save his Princess Jasmin. Kirk continued his master class in flirting, by asking if she had a drink would she kiss him; it's lovely to see romance is alive and kicking.

The days of TV gold are no more, as Andrew Stone pirouetted out of the house tonight in the campest fashion imaginable. Not only did he have to leave dressed as a pantomime beast, but the world's smallest carriage complete with pigmy pony was parked up in the garden ready to feed him to the hungry crowd.

As I slipped in to my leopard print onesie, I was thoroughly disappointed that The Andrew Stone show had been cancelled, and had to adjust my set to Come Bitch With Me instead.

I'm still holding out for Frankie's TV moment, as he has to do something to cling on to his 15 minutes of fame, or maybe he thinks he will be the next X Factor judge like Andrew did. Come on Cocozza, crack on with those birds and let's 'av it!

These celebs should know from previous series that the hot tub always equals drama; anyone remember the Makosi and Anthony babygate drama? Did they? Didn't they? Well I'm pretty sure Frankie didn't give Nicola one.

The fact that I missed the first 15 minutes doesn't really mean too much, as this series reminds me of my last relationship; full of excitement and false promise that it was actually going somewhere. But the snap, crackle and pop is slowly fading on the Big Brudda hoose, and not even the prospect of seeing Denise's sagging udders could save it from a slow and painful demise.

Shock of the week: Natalie Cassidy leaving the house, after the twins received a chorus of boos bigger than their own egos. Natalie hit the nail on the head by saying they are the most confident girls she has ever encountered...

Anyone could see that Denise plus alcohol only ever spells trouble; or trubble in Frankie's case. Day 18 started like any other, but ended with flash backs to the infamous 'fight night' many Big Brother moons ago.

Big Brother is looking for new recruits this summer and I have been loosely toying with the idea, but then I remember that the world and his wife would see me make-up less, drunk, emotional, on the toilet, and no amount of Heat magazine exposure would ever persuade me to be that open in front of the nation's prying eyes.

When you experience a breakup your emotions are all over the place; you don't get dressed until at least 3pm (on a good day) and mainly eat Weetabix day after day just to stay alive. My weekend is consisting of all the above after three passionate weeks with a bunch of hot celebrities has come to an abrupt end.