The Glam Rocker is neither religious nor cut. The idea is wholly foreign to him, whereas to me, circumcision is as natural an act as cutting the umbilical cord. I realise in the current climate my opinion may strike a foul chord.

K.Y. jelly smeared my stomach; it was a rink of lubricant over which the small handheld audio scanner skated. It Torvell-ed and Dean-ed in search of my baby's heartbeat alas to no avail, null points. The volume was raised - again to no avail.

A couple of weeks back the Glam Rocker left Blighty to embark on a tour of the US and I was joining him for a weekend of Sex in the City. I was Carrie as a brunette with a bulging belly as opposed to a bulging Mulberry.

It occurred to me that once ensconced in the state of motherhood women are prone to suffer the Stockholm syndrome, devotedly held captive 24/7 by the needs of our charges.