I remember loving this stage. Boy Wonder and I were fluent in monosyllabic squeak. 'Ah bah' translated, (depending on intonation and mood), as 'over there' or 'what's that?' or 'let's go' but mainly, 'I love you Mum, you are the best Mum in the world.'

Previous marvelling at the human female form has now turned to gasps of bewilderment. I was seeing bits of my body I had never seen before and losing sight of other bits; my nipples were darkening, the bump beginning to feel heavy and the belly button on the turn - inside out.

Don't get me started on the pink aisle. I'm a little bit rabid about the pink aisle. I'll bore you - suffice to say I don't do pink. If the Interloper is a girl, there will be a careful vetoing of toys reinforcing the idea a women's worth is dependent on her looks, or that catering to the needs of men is the only way forward (basically, all toys on the pink aisle).

Perhaps I should brush over this week. It was not a happy one. I was not a happy person. I hated everyone and everything. This was compounded by the official and public confirmation that the Glam Rocker's band would be supporting Lady Gaga on her worldwide tour, which meant I would be mothering it, alone.