THE BLOG

Why Do We Lay Awake at Night Dreaming of a Better Life?

11/08/2014 16:00 BST | Updated 10/10/2014 10:59 BST

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Thinking about a better life with more is something everyone will do at least once per day, it may not be of grandeur or in any form of magnitude; but could be as simple as a morning latte with a little more froth or the commute in the morning with a little less noise - we all do it...

Globally are we really unhappy with our lives that the amount of froth on our latte would improve our vision of life?

Is it wrong to want things to be perfect?

Is it so hard to be truly happy with what we have?

During my research for my most recent book How To Stress Less, I asked my clients, social media followers and anyone I could find "at what time of the day they reflected the most", I wanted to find out if this had a contributing factor to the stressors they encountered, and if there was any similarity with the aspirations and goal of those actively changing their life for the better. The answers thrown back weren't all that surprising, but the detail they went into was astonishing - usually to the exact specifics, froth and all...

Sex, Geographic's, monetary fortune, connection to god and all other variants played little or no factor in the emotional "wants" in life. We want more to feel more, and feel connected it's as simple as that.

Is this normal?

It's typical that our emotions are pushed and pulled as we wind down - commonly during the first few days of a summer break or a momentary period of rest. With our life offering many challenges and the need to deliver constantly at full speed, we have little time to reflect and make those minor adjustments needed to ensure we keep on our legacy path (something we aim for post life). With all these pressures and limited availability, those last few moments before drifting off to sleep, offer a time where we are able to process all of the data from that day - thus the reflection.

Why do we expect so much?

The emotions are usually instigated by media pressures to conform or comply with the standards of the masses; with glossy magazines showing the latest and greatest, our internal survival neurology is programmed to want - the more we fit in with our environment and surroundings the more we feel part of that community and less of an individual (we are taught from a young age that being an individual can be lonely, sad and depressing).

The emotions of want are heavily related to the emotions of connection, the more we are able to connect with others the less likely we are going to stand out and be alone - sadly this fake reality is something most will live up to, often failing to live life by their own consciously aware path, but more-so to comply with another's ideal of how life should be designed and lived.

I'm not ashamed to say that I've been in that "want state", not in terms of my relationship but with financial and career situations. It's emotionally natural that we want to feel wanted, needed and welcomed - communities are the foundations of our culture. However from my own experience the more stuff we have (within this consciously unaware "state") the more we actually become disconnected with our true life value - our legacy.

To summarise, if you're dreaming and analysing your life just before going to sleep then I would enjoy and allow your mind to flow away, visualising and exploring that parallel life! The emotions you'll encounter will positively fire up those aspects of thinking that will motivate you to turn those dreams into your own reality - your legacy.

Don't be afraid of standing alone and forging your own path in life, you have one shot to make this life count, live it by your wants and desires and consciously be-aware of living another's ideal - the choice is yours.