I'm currently in New York for work, and it got me thinking about Mr Big. He was Carrie's soul-mate from the beginning. We all saw it. We liked Aiden but we didn't love him. But it took her a long while to work it out for herself.
I had to kiss many, many frogs before I met my Prince Charming, who ironically was a froggy Frenchman himself.
I had all but given up on true love. In fact I used to watch schmultzy films like When Harry met Sally and feel positively enraged. How dare they add fuel to the myth that perfect couples exist? It was all damn lies. Or if I was attached at the time I would glance at my then boyfriend in the cinema and think how far away we were from true romance.
I have to say in all honesty every relationship up until now was a car crash for me.
My early adventures as a teen ended up with me scaring spotty boys away. I wanted to be swept off my feet - dates walking along a river (instead of him fumbling me whilst his parents were out), love letters (instead of awkward calls) and dinner for two (instead of a Big Mac).
My relationships did not last much longer than a couple of weeks. And I always convinced myself that it was me at fault, that something was wrong with me.
Then I went through the phase of wanting to be with someone who loved me back, in other words just anyone. I'd simply forgotten the "I need to love them also" bit.
I made the strangest, most ridiculous choices in men - a six foot plus (am five foot) ironman who liked nothing better than biking at six in the morning for 10 hours in the rain, a doctor with hounds for dogs who refused to wear anything but Crocs, and my ex husband, a brilliant man but one who wanted to spend all weekend on his computer solving Excel problems.
I then decided to ditch them all and go it alone.
I headed to Australia and hung out with gurus and gay boys. I got into me. I guess it was my 'pray' phase of 'eat, pray, love'. I had had my fill of Mr Wrong.
I actually had to stop looking for love for it to find me. Or maybe the truth is more like I could only find love when I started to like me, the real me.
Before I was looking for someone to complete me. Or somehow compensate for the bits I did not like about myself.
I was insecure so chose commitment-phobic guys that reinforced my lack of confidence. Or I chose guys based on what they offered me, I am not talking money, but other superficial stuff like status, intelligence or charisma. It was a mind, not a heart thing.
In Sydney I opened my heart for the first time - through spirituality in the form of yoga and meditation, but also through simply letting go of my need to be needed.
At the end of my time there I was prepared for two things. Meeting my Mr Right and saying goodbye to my dad.
Time is a strange phenomenon. Nothing happens for ages and then within a short period everything happens. Two years ago I met the man I am meant to be with forever. I moved to Paris, got married and now live there with his lovely three children.
I have a lot of friends who are in the position I was in. Some try dating online. Others the clubbing scene. One of my friend's brother's has just launched a Hitch-style service called personaldatingagent.com, which offers a more personal approach than the usual, cold dating websites.
But I actually believe it is pretty immaterial how you meet a guy. Look at me. A Brit just back from Oz lands up with a French divorcee in Paris. No dating website would have made that happen.
If you're not ready it won't happen.
Its as simple as that.
Instead of looking outwards, at what others are doing that's wrong or unfair, you need to turn the mirror back on yourself.
How ready are you to bare your soul to another human being?
How ready are you to let someone into your heart?
How ready are you prepared to love unconditionally?
They say when you let something or someone go, if it comes back to you, it will be forever.
It is the truest thing I have learnt in life so far.
Shake off that sick feeling of being single. Let that go of that sadness that you will always be alone. Give up any attachment to the other 'one', be you and Mr. Right is just around the corner....
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