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5 Reasons Why You Won't See Me In A Male Romper

28/05/2017 20:12

We all know fashion is constantly recycled and trends comes around full circle. Denim, pleats, rose-tinted sunglasses and playsuits. But every so often, a trend leaves even the most forward thinking fashionista raising their immaculately threaded eyebrows. I introduce to you, the Romper. Or has it has now been coined by social media, a 'Romphim'.

You have probably already seen the "playsuit for men", on your timeline or on premiered on the runway at London Fashion Week, (If not, image search 'male romper') but I bet you didn't know it is now being marketed and available for purchase to the average Joe. I for one, will not be that average Joe. My five reasons why I will not be wearing a 'Romphim':

5. It Is Not A Jumpsuit

"Just try it on, it's basically a jumpsuit..." No it's not. Traditionally a jumpsuit, onesie and even dungarees have a loose fit and fairly roomy in the waist band area, a 'Romphim' hugs you. Like a baby-grow. In the summer heat, that is not ideal for me, and for that reason, I'm out.

4. Longer To Take A Piss

OK, so it will now take approximately five secs longer to undo my flies or buttons (depending on the designer of the male Romper) to relieve myself. Picture yourself standing in front of a urinal, bursting to go and having to undo your Romper from the top all the way down. A simple "zip", has now turned into a "zzzzzzzip"!

3. I Don't Have The Physique For It

But even if I did, I still wouldn't wear it. You can't look road in a romper. And even If you have no intention of carrying an air of masculinity, the Romper looks slightly gimmicky. It may soon join the lineup for fashion faux pas of the last 30 years, alongside low-hung trousers, socks and slides, shell suits and bumbags.

2. I Already Own Tops With Matching Shorts

The male Romper must have been a manufacturing fault. Somebody in the factory forgot to cut the piece in two! When worn with a belt it really does resemble a matching top and bottom.
The same reason I would not purchase shoes with laces AND velcro strap is the same reason I wouldn't wear a all in one.

1. I Don't Want my Girlfriend Borrowing Anymore Of My Clothes

My scarf, T-shirts, jacket and jogging bottoms. All now belong to my girlfriend. The male Romper would easily be added to the list of shared items If I ever found myself owning one (I will never) "Babe, does my bum look big in this"? can not be a phrase that I want to hear reversed.

Personally, I am all for unisex clothing and could even see the point grime artist Skepta was making when he suggested in a recent interview that he champions womenswear, (although I can't seem myself swapping a large for a size 10) but I feel not a lot of men are able to pull off flamboyant or even feminine clothing and maintain their masculine aura.

The only men I can picture pulling off a male romper is Prince (RIP) and the guys from Original Romphim. The only one piece in my wardrobe this summer will be my overalls for mowing the lawn.

Image credit: ACED Design

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