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Film Review: Non- Stop

19/03/2014 15:45 GMT | Updated 19/05/2014 10:59 BST

You know when you watch a film and for the next 24 hours you can't help but inform all of your friends not to go and see it? Non-Stop is one of those.

You know when you watch a film and expect another scene to pop up at the end, but instead you're greeted with the end credits and a black screen? You know how it leaves you with an unsatisfied, empty feeling at the pit of your stomach? Non-Stop is one of those. You know when you watch a film and question why the actor still has a career? Non-Stop is one of those.

And, you know when you watch a film and wonder how it ever got made in the first place? You get the idea.

For anyone with a sceptical view towards the film - you would be correct. As Ghandi once said, trust your instinct. At this present moment in time, I wouldn't mind invoicing Liam Neeson for the price of my cinema ticket but I'm sure he has more important things to worry about; like the fact he makes shit films, perhaps.

When on holiday in Israel recently, I stumbled upon a run-down, neglected cinema and thought it would be a good idea to give it some attention. Also, who doesn't like visiting the cinema in a different country? I particularly enjoy participating in a world tour of popcorn ranking (so far nothing beats America).

Cut to ten minutes later and there I was, in Israel, watching Non-Stop (with Hebrew subtitles) on a slightly miniscule screen, in a dusty reclining chair with significant leg room, eating a generous portion of 7/10 salty popcorn. So far, it was looking positive. However, that's where the positivity came to an abrupt halt.

Non-Stop is a hybrid of Flight Plan, meets Red Eye, meets Snakes on a Plane, and it isn't nearly as good as any of those. As usual, Liam Neeson takes on the role of a troubled man who drinks far too much and has a constant pained look on his face (similar to that of constipation I'd say). We know he has a traumatic past, but we have to wait for it to be revealed until the middle of the film but by this point, you're past caring. As always, we know from the outset that Neeson is about to save the day. And as always, the plane lands safely. No surprises there.

Non-Stop takes place on a trans-Atlantic flight. Neeson plays an air-marschal who keeps being bombarded with a series of mysterious text messages demanding he instructs the airline to transfer $150 million into an off-shore account before the plane lands. Until he secures the money, a passenger on his flight will be killed every 20 minutes. Obviously we have no idea who is sending the texts and the theme of the film follows that of any typical thriller set 40,000 feet in the air - everyone is a suspect. Admittedly, it sounds interesting, but it's not. I must mention the insanely tacky effects that were used to animate the text messages each time a threat was received. They did nothing but cheapen the film. Not to worry though; America saves the day.

For obvious reasons, you won't find this film on your in-flight entertainment, but I really In short, Non-Stop is a turbulent concoction of poor acting and a bad script. Not to mention that the film is absolutely riddled with plot holes. wish it never reached worldwide cinemas in the first place. Julianne Moore is in the film, which really upsets me. I thought she was better than that. Don't even get me started on the ending, which is just absolute nonsense and extremely frustrating. It could have ended in a hundred more intelligent ways, which I was devising in my brain for the duration of the film, all to go to waste.

I'd like to advise Liam Neeson to think twice, or even 100 times, before he agrees to future job suggestions at the hand of his agent. Oh and, Taken 3 comes out this Summer.