THE BLOG

Am I Even A Woman Anymore?

06/10/2017 13:12 BST | Updated 06/10/2017 13:12 BST

Last month I had to go and get my fingerprints taken. Unfortunately, the machine was struggling to read my prints. Apparently, this is quite common and the lady operating it suggested I put some hand-cream on as this makes it easier for the machine to scan the prints, as she gestured to my oversized handbag, fully expecting me to whip some out!

Sh*t!

I made the pretence of rummaging through my bag, supposedly looking for some, knowing full well that I don't have any but I was suddenly feeling 'judged'.

When I, unsurprisingly, came up empty, she was shocked! Her mouth was even hanging open!

She eventually closed her mouth, took a deep breath, located her tongue and said ...

"How can you not have any hand cream, are you even a woman?"

It was said in jest, we both laughed, and then she proceeded to offer me some of hers. All done, and I was out of there.

Still, it got me thinking - On this seemingly twisted and uphill journey along the path of motherhood, have I somehow misplaced my womanhood?

I don't carry hand-cream in my hand-bag. In fact, I don't even have a hair brush in there anymore. I'm pretty sure it was removed about six months ago to brush one of the numerous My Little Pony's manes and never returned. I certainly haven't missed it. What is in there are my purse, roll-on, car keys, a Troll or two, some coins, a hairband or ten, a used tissue, and a few of those sweets they give you at the restaurants.

Does that make me less of a woman?

I realised today that I haven't had my hair done professionally in over eight months. My badly done highlights are now at least an inch over-grown, but it's finally the perfect length to wrap in a neat 'Mum-Bun'. If I go to a hairdresser they will end up cutting it and then my 'Mum-bun' won't work. The thought of having to 'do' my hair every day, well it just ain't gonna happen!

Does that make me less of a woman?

What about the fact that I don't own, or even want to own a pair of high heels anymore? I think I have a pair of gold wedges somewhere but the last time I looked they were in the girls' dress-up box! I think other women look stunning, poised and beautiful in them, IF they can walk in them. You know what, they don't even have to walk in them. If they can stand up straight without it looking like they are about to fall over then they deserve to wear them and be admired for that. If not, then please just take them off?! But for me, I'll stick with my flats. I mean, if I can't even walk in heels, how the hell am I supposed to run after a four-year-old who can't grasp the fact that 'Cars Will Run You Over' whilst also carrying a bag of groceries, an oversized handbag filled with nothing and dragging the six year-old who lives in her own world half the time?

Does that make me less of a woman?

A few weeks ago, I was fixing my make-up (I use the term loosely) and after about an hour of wearing it there was more on hands (I'm a face toucher), than there was left on my face. I spoke my thoughts out loud and said, "I wish there was some kinds of spray-on sealant that stops your make-up melting off your face." My THIRTEEN year-old step-daughter looked at me, her face filled with horror, shock, and a touch of pity. It turns out there is such a product, and it's been available for years, if not decades. Who knew? Not me.

Does that make me less of a woman?

I don't wear lipstick. In fact, the last lipstick I bought was for my daughter to wear to her dance recital a year ago. It's a shocking orange colour reminiscent of those neon sunblock face pains that were popular in the 90s. I'm sure everyone over the age of 25 remembers ... No? Just me then?

Does that make me less of a woman?

The reality is that I know there are many Stay-At-Home-Mums of little kids who rock the perfect hair, make-up, heels and handbags that contain hand-cream, but that's not me.

The reality is that all these things that seemingly define us as women, don't. Not the make-up, hair, handbags or heels.

I'm a woman with or without all that stuff. Being a mum is just one of the things that makes me woman too.

This post first appeared on my blog: https://momoftwolittlegirls.com/2017/09/28/am-i-even-a-woman-anymore/